Together
by jespah
Summary: Their lives seemed perfect – or, at least, close enough. They were happy, and together. And then they were forced to do things that they didn't want to do – and then discovered that they did want to do them. How could they go back, and save what they had?
1. Chapters 0103

Their lives_ seemed_ perfect – or, at least, close enough. They were happy, and together.

And then they were forced to do things that they didn't want to do – and then discovered that they _did_ want to do them.

How could they go back, and save what they had?

Or would it be better to do something radically different?

How could they pick up the pieces and stay together after having done _that_?

_Star Trek_

_Enterprise_

_Together_

A Star Trek Fan Fiction By  
J. R. Gershen-Siegel

**PG-13- Parents Strongly Cautioned**

Some material may be not be appropriate

for children under 13

**This is a fan written work**

The copyrights & trademarks of Star Trek are owned by  
Paramount Pictures, CBS Corporation and their licensee, Pocket Books. Any attempt to sell or rent this book should be reported to the copyright owners for their action

TrekUnited Publishing

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join us on the TrekUnited forum at  
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First pdf online edition 03/01/2011

Published for TrekUnited by  
L'Stok Press  
..LStok

1

"My knees hurt."

"Well, you should sit down more."

"I told you, I can't whisk when I'm standing."

"Okay, but you're not whisking right now, right?"

"Right."

"So, get back into bed and I'll rub your knees."

"Oh, c'mon, not that old ploy. I know what _that's_ gonna turn into."

"And you object? C'mere," he patted her side of the bed.

"Okay. But, really. We gotta be up soon."

"There's, um," he leaned over to check, "almost a half an hour until the alarm goes off," he kissed her.

"'Ommy!" came a high-pitched call from the other room.

"That would be me," she said.

"Hurry back," he said.

It was a few minutes before she returned.

"Is Jeremiah okay?" he asked.

"Yes, just a diaper change. And, my God! Jeremiah. How the hell did you convince me it was all right to name him that! It's not only Biblical, it's _severely_ Biblical. Call him Joss, it's easier on everyone."

"It was my father's name," he said.

"Yes, I know. Jeremiah Logan Beckett. Named for Jeremiah and Lena Hayes, your parents," she leaned over and kissed him, "At least this one will be named for mine. Peter Matthew, for Peter and Marie Helêne O'Day."

_Kick Kick Kick._

"Ow!" she complained.

"Petey's very active," he said, and then kissed her huge belly, "Come back, we'll continue where we left off."

"Who knew pregnancy would be such a turn-on for you?" she said, getting back in and trying to get comfortable, but her massive bulk made that difficult.

"It is ... you need to understand, Lili," he said, kissing her neck, which made her moan a little, "I know how it all happened. How that baby got there. How you and me put him there. Very, _very_ sexy."

"You! So we'll, uh, do math again?"

"That's all right," he conceded, "But I miss the intimacy of regular activities."

"You know Dr. Miva said we can't do that."

"I know. I also know what you and I did last time."

"Yeah, and it was really frustrating, Doug."

"Well, I will be careful. Really, really careful. Everything will be all right," he went back to kissing her neck and put his hand on her abdomen.

"I don't want to hurt Petey," she said, patting her belly. As if in response, she got another sharp kick.

"I felt that one, too," Doug said, "Now listen here," he said, pointing his finger into her midsection, "You are not being very kind to your hostess, Young Man. You need to lay off the kicking every once in a while, Pete."

_Kick Kick.  
_  
"Fat lot o' good that did," she said, then kissed him.

"'Ommy!" came their son's voice from the other room.

She sighed.

"Why doesn't he ever call for me?" Doug asked.

"Because you're not the Mommy. It's all very Oedipal," Lili got up again, "I'm coming, Joss," she called out.

A minute later, she returned, "Not hungry, not wet. Just wanted company, I guess."

"He can hear us talking," Doug said, "So, let's stop talking so much," he kissed her.

This time it was harder for Lili to get comfortable, "Gawd, I'm the size of a planet. Pretty soon forks and spatulas will start revolving around me," she said, "And this is only the fourth month! What am I gonna do? This is all _your _fault, you know."

"_My _fault?"

"Yes. That beach on Lafa VI – you were totally outta control."

"Me? It was a nude beach for gosh sakes."

"I didn't know that when I booked it. You were an _animal_. The Calafans were staring."

"That's 'cause they could hear you. You're not exactly a little mouse when you, uh, when you know. It must kill ya to keep quiet with Joss in the other room."

"I bite the pillow most of the time in order to keep quiet," she admitted, "Poor Pete's gonna come out, thinking pillowcases make for good eating."

He smiled at her, a little more crinkly around the eyes but otherwise looking the same as he did when they'd first met almost two years before, "Well, I like to make it so that you have to bite the pillow."

She smiled at him a little, "I just get afraid. Don't want to even take a chance of hurting this baby. Neither of us knew we could have one, let alone a second. He's a tremendous gift."

"I know," he said, "I will be as careful as when we put in the windows in this house. I swear."

"I'm gonna bite that pillow in half if you keep doing exactly what you're doing right now."

_Kick.  
_  
"Oh? Tell me more, Mrs. Beckett," he said, kissing her ear.

"Oh, yeah. Right ... there."

"'Ommy!"

"Oh, man," she said, "Doug, Doug, Doug, listen, I, Gawd, can I get a rain check? I _so_ want to. You don't know how much I want to."

He propped himself up on one elbow and checked the clock by peeking around her massive form, "Alarm's going off soon anyway," he sighed, "Rain check. I will come to collect, you know."

"Yes, I know," she said, bending around and kissing him, "And collect the interest, too, while you're at it."

"'Ommy! _Duck Duck_!"

Doug sighed again, "He just wants to be entertained."

"Yeah, I guess so. When Pete arrives, he'll have more entertainment."

"Once Petey gets big enough, I guess," Doug allowed, "Man, there are gonna be a lot more frustrating days like this, aren't there?"

"Yeah. I wish that wasn't the case," she said.

"Lili, I'll, uh, I'll go put on the coffee. Then I'd really better, erm, take a shower."

She smiled at him. "I, you don't have to."

"Don't act like it's this huge chore for me to put on the coffee. It's okay. And, uh, this is okay, too. I just miss you. I miss our, our immediacy."

"I miss that, too," Lili said, "Like crazy."

"_Duck Duck_!" came Joss's voice.

"So, are you gonna quack like a duck?" Doug asked.

"Yes, of course. Are you gonna honk like a goose?"

"Man, I'm terrible at that. You don't wanna hear me sing."

"Of course I do! You have such a sweet tenor voice."

"Will you do that little hootchie coo dance step when you sing about the swan?" he asked.

"Yes, although I don't feel like a swan. I feel like a whale."

"You are still a swan."

"'Ommy!"

"My public awaits," she said, and went into the other room.

He could hear her singing to Joss, who was clapping but doing a lousy job of keeping time, just a toddler's irregular clapping:

_"The duck was quackin'"_(finger snap, finger snap)_  
__"The duck was laughin'__"_ (two more finger snaps)

"_The duck was dancin' by the water  
quack quack quack  
The rhythm made him think he oughta  
quack quack quack  
He was dancing to  
the samba the samba the samba_

Oh goose oh  
The goose was gaining passing by"  
She stopped for a second and called out, "Doug, you're supposed to be honking."

"I feel stupid."

"He's a baby. He has no idea the lyrics are silly. Now, you are the goose. The goose has to honk!"

"I'm a gander."

"Yes, I know. Can you honk a little, please?"

"Okay. _Honk, honk, honk," he_ sang.

She continued singing, "_He stopped and gave the dance a try"_

"Honk, honk" he answered.

She sang, "_The bossa nova had him dancing  
The new thing. The new swing._

Then a lovely swan swam by, in all her majesty,  
and she loosened up.  
Hootchie-cootchie-coo did that swan.  
She joined the duck and goose and did the samba too.  
You should have seen the kind of samba she could do.  
They did the samba so long, they all fell right in the water.  
While they were singing away,  
quack quack quack, quack quack quack  
o pato, " Then she continued in Portuguese.

And Doug Beckett knew – despite his mounting frustrations – that if Lili was singing, if Joss was clapping, if Petey was kicking, and if he was honking like a goose and feeling more than a little bit silly about that, that all was right, in this or any other universe.

2

On the _Enterprise_, Malcolm dictated:

_"To: Doctor Pamela Hudson, in the care of the Charon Medical Center._

My dear Pamela,

I trust all is well with you and you are enjoying your new job. I have been well.

I wanted to ask you, I have been invited to a wedding on the thirty-first of August, 2159. The wedding will be held on Oberon. I can bring a date, and so I was hoping that you would, that is to say, I would be honored if you were to accompany me. I hope that thirty days' notice is enough time for you to clear all obligations.

The Enterprise is currently headed to Lafa II to pick up a former crew member who is going to cater the wedding. Her husband is teaching a hand to hand defense class in San Francisco and I will be assisting. If you'd like to come to Earth a few days before the thirty-first, you can see me in action if you'd like.

I do miss you.

As Ever,

Malcolm" 

He paused for a moment and fingered a bright piece of cloth, "_Post script: You left your green scarf with me the last time we were together. It still is a bit redolent of Toxic. Let me know if you'd like it back. "  
_  
He sniffed the scarf a little. It did still, faintly, smell of her perfume. He hit **send**.

=/\=

On Lafa II, Lili left their home and went to work to tie up some loose ends.

It was like a mantra, a magical talisman, every time she went to _Reversal_, she'd reach up and touch the sign. This time was no exception. She smiled, "Our first baby," she said to herself quietly.

Treve was there, talking to a workman, "Ah, how are things going? Is my younger nephew quieting down at all?"

"Not one bit," she said, "I'm sorry we'll be leaving you for so long."

"No, this is a good time to do the expansion," he said, "And, um, there. Thanks," he said to the workman, pointing, his bare arm a mass of silver.

"Did you get the new oven?"

"Yes. And there's the place on Lafa VI. It should be close in climate to, what did you call it?"

"Mediterranean. Kind of subtropical," she said.

"Yes. Well, we can get some land for a good price. Growing human foods won't be easy, but it will be quite the coup if we can. My people really want to try, what did you call it?"

"Hummus," she said, "Your people have been so kind to us, Treve."

"Well, we are making friends with you humans, and I think people are seeing that you're, well, you're worthwhile people to be friends with," he smiled at her.

"How is your mother doing?"

"Better. She speaks a little now. Amazing what doctors can do. I don't know if she has quite figured out that Father had something to do with her condition. I think the only reason they stay married is because, well, the First Minister can never leave the High Priestess. It's just not done," he said.

"I get the feeling, when she's stronger, your mother may very well decide she wants out, regardless of protocol. I can't imagine living in such a state," Lili said, and then changed the subject, "Please convey our thanks to her for sparing your sister for so long. She is the best babysitter I could have ever asked for."

"Well, Yimar loves Joss. You'll be gone for over a month, though."

"Do you think business will really suffer?"

"Can't say it won't fall off at all," he admitted, "I'll see if I can use the time to build anticipation for the return of the great Lili and her Roast Elekai with Olowa."

"Gawd."

_Kick Kick._

"My biggest critic," she said, looking down, "You can't tell me too many wonderful things or I get kicked – reminded that I should be down to earth, I guess."

"A wise child."

=/\=

Jonathan sat in his chair on the Bridge. Behind stood Security Crewman Deborah Haddon, making sure everything was okay.

"Now approaching Lafa II," Travis said, looking up from his controls.

"Take us in closer," Jonathan said, "Ensign Sato, Lieutenant Reed, you're with me. See you all later," The three of them departed.

Chip Masterson and Aidan MacKenzie came in to relieve them. T'Pol got into the Captain's chair as the ship approached the planet.

=/\=

In the shuttle bay, Tripp Tucker handed a box to Jennifer Crossman, "Be careful with that, it's the gift from our department."

"Yes, I know," she said.

"The guy on the Andorian home world said those are the best knives they make. I hope she's okay usin' 'em. Maybe she just wants to use her own stuff," he said.

"I think these will be fine," Jennifer said.

Crewman Melissa Madden came in, "I've got the gift from Navigation," she said. It was a lot smaller, "We weren't sure what to get so we got them candlesticks. Kind of a fall-back present but most of us didn't really know them that well. We're getting you something different for your wedding, Jenny."

"That's okay," Jennifer said, taking the smaller box, "I still can't believe I'll be married in a month."

Jonathan, Hoshi and Malcolm walked in, "Here, let me help you, Ensign," said Malcolm. He had an envelope tucked under one arm already and a medium-sized box in both hands.

The presents were loaded into the shuttle, "Okay, have we got everyone, and everything?" Jonathan asked.

"That looks like it," Tripp said, closing the door. He turned to Melissa as they watched the shuttle depart, "I bet they're havin' something really gourmet tonight."

"It might just be chicken fingers with a little kid running around," she said.

=/\=

"Can you help Joss set the table, please?" Lili asked.

"Yes, just a sec," Doug brought over a chair, "Seven, right?"

"Plus the high chair."

"Got it. He'll sit next to Yimar. Okay, Joss, everybody gets a spoon. Not just Mommy."

"Are we too early?" It was Jonathan.

"No, no, oh, Gawd, it's great to see you!" Lili wiped away a quick tear and hugged him. This was not something he was expecting, nor was he expecting her bulk.

She hugged everyone, hard, a little teary. Doug hung back more, and Joss held his leg.

"Sorry," she said, wiping her face with the end of her apron, "I'm a big hormone cocktail these days."

"Wow, look at you!" Jennifer said, "You sure you're not gonna just drop any second?"

"I am sure. I'm due in January, can you believe that?" She found Joss and bent over to talk to him, "Come meet Uncle Jonathan, Aunt Jenny, Aunt Hoshi and Uncle Malcolm."

"No!" Joss said.

"Huh, we are still working on using that magical word. Okay, now, I know there are a lot of people here but we go over and we say hi when we meet people. Okay? You wanna try that again?"

This time, he came over with her.

"Your son is a year old?" Malcolm asked, "He looks like he's about three, I'd say."

"We grow them big here. He'll be one in a little over a month," Doug said proudly.

"September. When?" Malcolm asked.

"Second," Doug replied.

"Ah, that's my birthday as well," Reed said.

"Well, then I'll have to make a cake for the both of you," Lili said, "We'll still be on the _Enterprise_. I hope you don't mind a big shuttle on it, done in frosting."

"No, of course not."

"Pineapple, right?" Lili asked.

"Yes," Malcolm smiled, pleased she'd remembered.

Yimar came in, and Joss immediately went over to hug her, nearly knocking her over in the process, "Um, hello," she said, a shy sixteen-year old with silver arms. She busied Joss with her bracelet and then went to help Lili in the kitchen.

"We brought you your wedding gifts, a year and a half late," Hoshi said.

"And we've also got a little something for the little ones," Jonathan said, presenting a largish box.

"Can he, uh, is it anything too delicate?" Doug asked.

"There's nothing breakable or with small parts."

"Good. Here, Joss. Tear this one open," Doug brought the box to his son.

Joss's bluish-greenish-greyish eyes widened in wonder as he revealed the box's contents, "Wha–?"

"It's a sled," Doug said, "It doesn't snow on Lafa II, except on Point Abic."

"It's not gonna start a war or anything if they sled, is it?" Hoshi asked.

"I don't think so," Doug said, "Yimar, do your people mind if anyone walks on the snow on Point Abic?"

"What?" she asked, coming out, "I don't think that's ever been thought of. Oh, and, uh, dinner is served. Hope everyone's hungry."

Lili came out and was about ready to serve when Doug caught her eye, "I'll, um, I've been struggling to not do too much these days," she said, "So I'll sit with all of you."

Jonathan pulled out a chair for her, and then sat across from her, "I hope you don't think you need to cook for the _Enterprise_ while you're with us."

"Well, I'd like to do a little," she said, "Long as it doesn't turn into a busman's holiday for me. Ah, Yimar, let's have soup first, please."

They sat down, "This is wild mushroom soup. It's made from some of the last of our supplies," she admitted.

"Good thing we brought what we did. My department's present is some things we hope will remind you of home," Malcolm said.

"Wonderful. And nobody had to get us anything. We're an old married couple. It's Jenny who's the bride now," Lili said.

"Well, we weren't here when you tied the knot," Jenny said.

"It was a shotgun wedding," Lili said, "'Cause you," she poked Joss in the ribs a little, "were already marinating."

"It was such a chore," Doug joked, "She really had to twist my arm."

"I convinced you because I appealed to your sense of efficiency."

"Efficiency?" Malcolm asked.

"They got married on Valentines' Day," Hoshi said, "Two holidays in one day."

"That's rather romantic, I suppose," Malcolm said.

"It was practical. Now he only has to worry about forgetting one day," Lili said, "Salads, please."

Yimar and Doug served.

"What is this?" Jenny asked, looking at strips of different shades of purple on her plate.

"That is an olowa. Or, rather, it's bits of a bunch of them. It's a vegetable that grows on Lafa IV. Now, the interesting thing about olowa is, as it matures, it petrifies and turns to stone. It also lightens from deep purple to, eventually, kind of an ash grey. You can't eat it then; you'll break a tooth. So what you've got here is a salad made from olowa at different stages of maturity. If anything feels too hard, all I can say is, don't eat it. I won't be offended," Lili said.

"It tastes a little like, hmm, like peanuts," Malcolm said.

"No, I've got some that's spicy," Jennifer said.

"Mine's like pears," Hoshi said.

"All of that's true. It depends on how old it is," Doug said, "It starts off kind of sweet, and then gets spicy, then it gets a bit fattier and then it's suddenly inedible one day."

"Is there any dressing on this?" Jonathan asked.

"None," Lili said.

"What's dressing?" Yimar asked.

"It's a kind of sauce for raw greens," Lili said.

"Hmmpf," Yimar replied, "Here, Joss, one more bite," she coaxed.

Jenny leaned over and whispered to Lili, "You lucked out. She's good with him."

"Yes. She's terrific. And she's not as moody as a human teenager," she raised her voice back up to normal volume again, "Main course, please."

_Kick Kick.  
_  
It was a huge roast.

"Oh my God," Jonathan said, "How many people did you think you were feeding?"

"We have a big freezer," Doug said, "Uh, Lili, this really is too much."

"You'd think I'd have the proportions right by now. I'm past the 'all I want to do is eat everything in sight' phase of my pregnancy. Anyway, uh, like Doug said, don't worry about leftovers. This is," Lili took some for Joss's plate and starting cutting it into smaller pieces, "an elekai. Or, rather, it's most of the upper half."

"It's a big flightless bird," Doug explained.

"What he's not telling you is he hunted it himself," Lili said.

"Not by myself. I went with the guys. There were nine of us who brought it down."

"It must be really big," Hoshi said, tasting her food, "It tastes like chicken."

Lili smiled, "The upper half, yes. The legs taste like duck."

"That was something you said once you made a lot of. Duck, that is," Malcolm said.

"_Duck Duck_!" Joss called out.

"Not now," Doug said to his son.

"You, uh, huh, that was a small thing to remember for a few years," Lili said, smiling.

"_Duck Duck_!" called Joss again.

"He might have had enough dinner. Can you, please, Yimar?" Lili asked.

"Sure. C'mon, let's look at the sled," Yimar said, lifting Joss out of the high chair.

Clearing the plates, Hoshi and Jenny got a chance to talk to Lili, "You seem really happy," Jenny said.

"I am. I'm just a little frustrated."

"Oh?" Hoshi asked.

"Well, the super-male makes super babies, as you can see," Lili patted her belly, "But with, um, our little duck running around, there are not a lot of occasions to, uh ..."

"Say no more. We'll babysit. Won't we, Hoshi?"

"I dunno. Doesn't the girl, uh, Yimar? Doesn't she do that?"

"Not at night," Lili said, "And, you do not have to."

"It's okay. Practice for me," Jenny said, "Maybe we can take Joss up to the big _Enterprise_ tonight and show him all the neat things and he'll feel like a really big boy. And you'll come up tomorrow like you planned. Travis can come and get you, right?"

"Or Melissa Madden," Hoshi suggested.

"I don't know her," Lili said, "Did she come on board after I left?"

"Yes, I think so," Hoshi said, "Will Joss be scared, away from you for a night?"

"He already has been a few times," Lili said, "Really, are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes. A baby gift, okay?" Jenny said.

_Kick Kick.  
_  
In the other room, the men talked about hunting and the class that Doug and Malcolm were going to teach, "The combination, we need to work on that," Doug said, "Ah, coffee."

"And we've got tea. And milk for somebody," Lili said waddling in slowly as Hoshi carried the tray.

Jenny said, "Doug, do you mind if we borrow Joss tonight? Actually, I guess I should be asking you this as well, Captain."

"All right with me if it's all right with you," Jonathan said.

"Uh, hmm," Doug thought, and then looked at Lili, who nodded very, very slightly in the direction of their bedroom, "That'll be great. He's all packed anyway. I'll just, remind me to make sure you have his dinosaur."

"We do not sleep without the dinosaur," Lili explained.

"Well, I suppose if I had a dinosaur, I'd sleep better, too," Hoshi said.

In one man's mind, a switch was flipped, and something turned.

And though it was wrong, and hopeless, he couldn't help it. That old feeling. It came roaring back, and he was powerless to stop it.

3

They waved as the shuttle left. Dishes in the sanitizer, Doug turned to Lili, "So, whaddaya wanna do?"

"Actually, if you don't mind, open presents. You okay with waiting a little bit?"

"Only a little bit."

"Well, I feel a little like a bride all over again. And this time without morning sickness."

"That is definitely an improvement," Doug said, "I'll hand over, you tear wrapping," he handed her the biggest box.

"Hmm, this is from Engineering," Lili ripped, "Ah, it's a set of knives. These are good, titanium blades."

"I better be nice to you, then."

"Nothing to worry about," she smiled. She took a little necklace out from where it had been tucked into her blouse and looked at the charm on it, "Pity I can't wear my ring these days."

"Well, it's not fitting. Don't want to cut off your circulation."

"You always keep yours on," she said.

"Yes, I never want to take it off."

"Yeah, but you even wear it during diaper changes," she said.

"I wash my hands well," he assured her, "Okay, this is from Navigation," he said, handing the box over.

"Hmm, it's candlesticks. Not exactly our style, but okay," Lili said.

"Well, they probably had to guess. Here's an envelope."

"Ah, hmm. This is from Security. Your side of the family," she said, "A gift card, see?"

"Oh, it's that place in San Francisco. Wow, that's really generous," Doug commented, "This one's from Archer."

"A linen tablecloth," Lili said, "This is really nice. We won't put it down if we, er, use the table for, ahem, unconventional purposes," she smiled at Doug wickedly.

"Ah yes, I remember those."

"Back before I weighed about a thousand kilos."

_Kick Kick Kick.  
_  
"What's that one?" asked Lili, "No, the smaller one."

"It's from Communications. Here."

"Hmm. It's a book. _Jane Eyre_," Lili read off the spine, and then cracked it open, "Have you read it?"

"Nope. I'm not so sure it exists on the other side of the pond."

"Ah, yes, that distorted mirror you called a universe for so long," she said.

"It was bad and it was nasty but it was how we met," he leaned over and kissed her.

"There's an inscription. It says, _'One good love story deserves another. – Hoshi and Chandler.'_ Who's Chandler?"

"Masterson."

"That's Chip Masterson's _real_ name? Holy cow."

"Is that a bookmark?" asked Doug.

"Yeah, but it's also one of those things where you can scan it with a PADD and it passes data. Here, hand me yours, please."

"And?"

"Lots of other books, mostly about movies. I guess those were heh, Chandler's contribution. _'Film Criticisms throughout the Years'_," she read, "_Critiques from Rex Reed, Pauline Kael, Roger Ebert, etc.,__"__ she_ clicked around randomly and then laughed.

"What's so funny?"

"Here's one that just says, _'Clint sings like a moose.__'_"

"Oh, c'mon, it doesn't say that, Lili!"

"Yes it does! Here, under _'Paint Your Wagon'_," she showed him.

"Well, I'll be damned. One left," he handed her the box.

"Hmm, it says _Marks & Spencer_ on the side. That's British. This must be from Tactical. Your side."

"You open it. You're the blushing bride."

_Kick Kick.  
_  
"Okay, hmm," The box was heavy, and filled with all sorts of cans and jars, some of which were wrapped in blue cloth, "Some of it is wrapped up, and some of it isn't."

"Okay, what's not wrapped?"

"Here, uh, cheddar cheese, a bag of mixed nuts," the bag crinkled a little when she lifted it, "a box of orzo and basmati rice and a small tube of curry paste."

"What are the canisters?"

"Oh, it's a kitchen canister set. Heavy," she opened one, "They're filled! Look, flour, sugar, whole bean coffee and loose leaf tea," she sniffed, "English breakfast, I think."

"What are the wrapped ones?" he asked, taking each canister from her.

She unwrapped one, "Hmm. It's a tin of kosher sausages. Little card says this one is from Ethan Shapiro," she unwrapped another, "It's a jar of chestnuts, from, uh, Karin Bernstein," Next one, "_Fortnum and Mason_ jam, blueberry. From, uh, Lucas Donnelly."

"Donnelly?"

"Yeah. Uh, you know him?"

"Yeah," Doug looked down, "Number one from the other side of the pond."

"Oh," Lili said, "Not the same guy, right?"

"I suppose you're right," Doug said. He didn't want to kill her mood, or blow his chances for later. But Lucas Donnelly was, well, his counterpart in the mirror universe was known to Doug – as the first man Doug had ever killed.

=/\=

"Okay, ready for bed, Joss?" Jennifer asked.

"Story, story!"

"We already read two," she said.

"_Duck Duck_!"

"Whatever _Duck Duck_ is, it'll have to wait for tomorrow."

"_Duck Duck_?"

"No. Here's your dinosaur. Time to sleep," she bent over him.

He touched her, "Milk?"

"Ha, no. The kitchen's not open yet. And you will be too old for that by then. I thought your Mommy said you were weaned."

"'Ommy?"

"Yes, she'll be here tomorrow, with Daddy. Say good night."

"G'night, Denn."

"Jenn. Uh, that's okay," she crawled into bed with him and put her arms around him. Joss squirmed a little bit, but settled in soon. She smiled to herself and fell asleep, dreaming of having her own someday.

=/\=

"Moving along, yes?" Lili asked.

"Yes," Doug said, "The blue cloths, how many do you have?"

"Eight. Two more to unwrap. Ha, I just realized, these are cloth napkins," she smiled, "Okay, hmm, this one is Scottish Steel-Cut Oats."

"That's gotta be from MacKenzie."

"Right you are, sir. One more. It must be from Reed," she opened it. It was a small can of pineapple rings, "Yep, these are from Malcolm."

"He must've packed that whole box himself. It's very British-centric."

"Nah. I bet he just flirted with some shopgirl at _Marks & Spencer_ and had her do most of it," she looked at the bottom of the box, "There's an old fashioned card."

"Well?"

"It says, _'We don't know if you can make one meal out of all of these things at the same time, but we'd like to see you try, and we will eat it no matter what it tastes like. Congratulations from the Tactical Department'_. And then they all signed their names, see?"

"Excellent. Now that that's done..."

"Yes!" she cried out.

"No, not that yet. There's one more thing. I shoulda cleared this with you first, Lili."

"Oh?"

"It's nothing alarming. At least I don't think it is. I wrote to Laura."

=/\=

Night shift.

Melissa Madden piloted the _Enterprise_ in a meandering course around the Lafa System. There were lots of stars and planets to duck, lots of movement and ships. It was an interesting challenge.

"Crewman Madden," T'Pol said, "Are you aware that you'll be picking up the Becketts tomorrow?"

"Yes, Commander."

The course continued figure eight upon figure eight around and around.

=/\=

"Laura as in Laura Hayes? As in Jay's sister?"

"Yes. My counterpart's sister. Here," he brought the letter up on his PADD.

Lili read it aloud.

"_Dear Ms. Hayes:_

My name is Doug Beckett. I know you don't know me, but we are related. I don't want anything from you, I just want to introduce myself to you, if that's okay, and have you meet my family. I will be on Earth on August twenty-eighth, in San Francisco. I will send you the particulars if you are interested. I recognize this probably looks really strange but all I want to do is introduce myself. Please feel free to suggest any place where you would prefer to meet if Starfleet Headquarters is not acceptable to you. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Lt. Cmdr. (Retd.) Douglas J. H. Beckett"

She paused.

"Well?" he asked.

"It's perfect," she smiled.

"Good. That's been, that's been worrying me a little. I really want to do that. I think she should know that, well that Major Jay Hayes may not be alive, but his counterpart is."

"He is very much alive," Lili said, kissing him and nodding a tiny bit towards their room.

"Let me show you how alive I am," he said, getting up and helping her up.

_Kick Kick Kick.  
_  
The kissed and moved into the bedroom. She smiled at him, "You're already ready to get started."

"Uh huh, I thought that box from Tactical would take forever! C'mere," he stared at her and then appraised her, "A little different from when I first saw you."

"I would imagine so."

"It's all good. Sit down; let me take care of you."

"Oh, twist my arm," she said, holding her hand out. He gently turned her wrist slightly and she laughed, and then sat down.

"Here, now, back up a little. Yeah, that's it."

"Didn't I tell you? I'm as into this as you are. But, uh, you'll be careful, right?"

"Absolutely. I love you, and I love Number Two Son. And I won't do anything to hurt either of you."

"Good thing Number One Son is flying high above our heads right now. I'd rather not be explaining this to him for a few more years."

"Better be soon, Lili. The first time I saw a girl naked, I was four years old."

"Four?"

"Yep. She was, uh, also four. Kathy Norris. The ole _- you show me yours, I'll show you mine_."

"So show me yours. I'm already showing you mine," she said.

=/\=

He rolled over to her side.

She shook her head, shaking off cobwebs a little, "Huh," she breathed, "That was less, uh, frustrating that time," she got up.

"Where are you going?"

"Just to the bathroom. You forget I live in there now," she said.

And, again, although he had been so very, very careful, he saw it – a spot of blood on the sheet, "Lili," he called out, trying to hide the alarm he was feeling, "Can you get dressed?"

"Uh, why?" she asked, coming back in.

"That," he pointed to the incriminating stain, "I'll get the car and call Miva."

She got dressed as quickly as she could, "Damn. Petey, I, Gawd, please be all right."

The ride to Dr. Miva's was fast, breaking about every Calafan traffic law there was.

Miva was a middle-aged Calafan woman, arms a mass of silvery scrollwork. She was yawning and stretching when they arrived, "How bad is it?" she asked.

"It wasn't much," Doug said.

"Yeah. No real change, I don't think," Lili said.

"Here, let's do the examination," Miva said.

The pelvic exam was thorough, and Miva spread some of the blood on some slides, "Now lay back," she said to Lili, "Let me check these. That will take a minute or so," she left Lili and Doug alone.

"We never should have done that," Lili said, hand on her belly, shaking a little. It was finally sinking in.

"No. I, God, I guess not," Doug said, taking her hand, "It'll, um, it'll be all right."

Lili just stared into space.

Miva returned, "I checked, and none of the blood is the baby's. It's all yours. You have a fresh abrasion on your cervix. Now, I can guess how you got it or you can tell me."

"It's obvious, right?" Doug asked, "We, uh, I, uh, I went too far."

"Right," Miva said, "Allow me to explain what is going on here, although we all know what is happening. I just feel it might help to get the message across to you both," she sighed, "Your endowment is greater than most human males. Your wife is the same size or smaller than most human females, despite having had one child already. In order to accommodate your dimensions, your wife has had an operation to clear space. Otherwise, your parts do not fit, and you can injure her – which has happened in the past. For both of her pregnancies, I have reversed the operation so that your children could develop properly. You were all right with Jeremiah, and you waited. Why are you unable to wait when it comes to your second child?"

"Actually, we didn't wait last time, either," Lili confessed, "But, uh, this didn't happen. We were okay. We, uh, only did it once then. I'm sorry."

"Look, it's not me you need to apologize to. Or to anyone, for now. But you can cause a great deal of damage to the developing fetus if the uterus or the placenta is punctured. And those are very real possibilities," Miva said, "The placenta is very large. Understand that you have gained more weight than human females are supposed to gain at four months' gestation. But that is mostly placenta. The weight gain has now mostly stopped and, instead, the proportions will change, and you'll go from perhaps five percent fetus and ninety-five percent placenta to more of a balance. And at that point, you'll have another Cesarean. But that is a good five months away. You cannot attempt this again. It is too risky to your child."

"It's all my fault," Doug said, "I pushed her."

"No, I wanted to," Lili said, "Doctor, isn't there anything that we can do?"

"I had thought that other stimulus would be sufficient, but apparently it is not," Miva said, "You can also use directed dreaming. As you are aware, it is possible for you both to have dreams that are richer, deeper and more meaningful than standard human dreams."

"I don't wanna do that," Doug said, "It's not real. Lili is here, and real. I don't have to fall asleep in order to be able to touch her. Not anymore."

"That may be so," said Miva, "But given her condition – and the complications with this pregnancy – that may be your best option. Many of my patients in similar circumstances can have rather satisfying experiences this way."

"But that's what you do," Doug said, "You all dream, you all meet your dream lovers and have your dreamy affairs with people in the other universe, and it's all dandy for you. But it isn't for me. We have different values. We just, I just, I can't do it."

"Your relations would still be with your wife. You have been with us for a long time and you keep a bit of amplifier metal on you at all times anyway," Miva explained.

"He does?"

"Yes. Those rings you wear. A very human tradition – we don't do that. It seems a bit possessive, like the last name thing, or having a last name at all. I don't quite get it but that's what you humans do."

"Well, I just can't get and accept what you Calafans do," Doug said.

"We could try at least once," Lili said, "You know we can have really good dreams together."

"I know we can. But, like I said, it's not real. And you! Would you be pregnant in these dreams, or not?"

"I guess it would be as the occasion required," she said.

_Kick.  
_  
"I'm sorry, I just can't," Doug said, "I can't go back to that when we've moved so far forward in the past two years. I'll just have to stay away," he muttered, "I'm sorry, Lili."

36


	2. Chapters 0406

4

They were still speaking, but just barely, when Melissa arrived in the shuttlepod to pick up them and Yimar. Yimar chatted happily and asked about everything on the shuttle. Melissa explained how the thrusters worked, and they generally had a great time. Lili and Doug just sat in the back with the luggage. She stared out the window. He sighed, "I'm sorry," he finally said again.

"We'll talk later," she said, and they were silent for the remainder of the trip.

Jennifer and Joss were waiting at the shuttle bay, "'Ommy! 'Ommy!" he called out when the ramp came down.

"Don't hug too hard, Joss," Doug reminded him.

"Go over and say hi to Daddy," Lili said, straightening up, "Daddy missed you, too, yanno."

_Kick.  
_  
"Big big ..," Joss said to Doug.

"What's he trying to say?" Doug lifted Joss up and asked Jennifer.

"We saw the kitchen this morning. Lots of big pots and pans. At least I think that's what he's talking about. He also got to sit in the big Captain's chair. It might be about that," she smiled.

"I hope he wasn't too much trouble," Lili said.

"Not at all. He only cried a little. But what's _'Duck Duck'_?"

"Oh, ha, it's _O Pato_. It's an English-Portuguese song about a duck," Lili pointed to Joss, "a goose," she pointed to Doug, "and a swan," she pointed to herself, "even though right now I think I want to change the lyrics to a duck, a goose and a whale."

"Portuguese? I thought you were French."

"I am. My grandmother taught me that song, and a bunch of others. She had a job running a day care center for the European Union delegation to Titan. So I know Spanish and German songs, too."

"We did go through _Frère Jacques_," Jennifer said, "I figured that would calm him down, and I think it did. Or maybe he just wondered about my pronunciation."

Brian Delacroix came in, "Sorry I'm late, it took me a while to get done with the breakfast dishes. Can I help with the bags?"

Lili hugged him, teary again, "I'm so glad to see you. Are you making good sauces?"

"Yes. Just the way you taught me," he looked at Yimar, "Uh, hello," he stammered out, unused to seeing bald, alien teenaged girls.

"Oh, bad manners," Lili said, "Yimar, this is our friend, Brian. He has my old job."

"Hiya," she said, hanging back a bit. She took Joss from Doug. Joss started to fuss a little, "I think it's time for some quiet play."

"Here, you'll be staying in, well, it's actually Crewman Cutler's old quarters," Jennifer said, "And you'll have next door as well. So one room for you two", she smiled at Lili, who looked away a little, "and another for Joss and Yimar."

"Did you get a new roommate?" Lili asked as they made their way through the hallway.

_Kick Kick Kick.  
_  
"Yes, your pilot. She's a lot quieter than you were," Jennifer said, "Here we are. _The Bridal Suite_, I suppose."

There was a large fruit basket on a desk, with small plastic baggies next to it, "Oh, look!" Lili called out, "It's from Chef! And you, too, Mr. Delacroix! And look, there are bags, we can save the seeds and bring them back to Lafa II!" she smiled, "I gotta," her voice got emotional, "I gotta go hug and kiss Chef. Excuse me a sec," she left.

"She's all over the place emotionally," Doug explained, "C'mere, Joss. Let's go see your room. Yes, you can bring your dinosaur."

=/\=

Malcolm's PADD was flashing. A letter. He was on duty but the moment was quiet. The Calafans were friends, no one was about to start shooting at them. He could take a peek at Pamela's note.

_Reed,_

I'm so glad you wrote. It just so happens that I will be totally free on the twenty-eighth and the thirty-first and all of the days in between. But not too much before – there was a mining accident on Io – perhaps you saw it in the news? They need any doctor they can get, so I'm off to get some serious overtime and help, but I'll be done by the twenty-eighth. I'll be doing regular surgery, not just plastic, so I'll be putting eyebrows back on and taking care of crushed ribs and all of that. Nothing too specific, I know you don't like hearing about that.

Tell me whether it's a day or evening wedding, and a day or evening reception as that'll define what I wear. And, uh, I have some special things for when it's just you and me. I can tell you're smiling, I can see you through the page. Plus of course I don't need the scarf back but I will spritz it with a lot more Toxic _and you know I'll roll around a bit and get it in the sheets. I know you're smiling even more now and so am I. Might even be reddening, which is very hot. Anyway, I've teased you enough. See you soon and we'll scratch the itch._

– Pamela  
  
He turned off the PADD and, despite himself, could tell he was reddening.

"Are you feeling all right, Malcolm?" Jonathan asked, "You look a little flushed."

"Uh, yes, sir," he squeaked out. Might have to scratch the itch a little earlier than expected, he thought to himself. It was going to be a long four weeks.

=/\=

"Alone at last," Doug said to Lili. Brian had taken Yimar and Joss to go look at the Botany lab's flowers.

"Yes. We should talk," she said.

"I know."

"I, uh, do you know why I'm angry?"

"Well, you want to do it that way, the dream way. And I just can't anymore," he said.

"I can understand if it bothers you that way. What bugs me more is that it was such an unequivocal, unilateral decision on your part," she said, "You just decided it, case closed, and there's no discussion. It's like I have no position at all."

"Lili, it feels like cheating to me. I mean, the Calafans, the way they do things – there are husbands and wives and they, they go to sleep in bed together, maybe even having had lots of hot sex, and they dream about more sex, with other people. I'm like, what the hell? What could possibly be missing that they've gotta do it with someone else?"

"But you and I will be dreaming about each other," she said, a little teary again, "And we are stuck otherwise. Unless you want to do math, well, we are stuck and there is nothing else when we're awake. I thought it would be good to have options," her voice was breaking a bit more.

"Shh, shh. Look, it's a great number – divisible by three and twenty-three. You _like_ to do math," he said, using their word for the act, "And it'll have to be enough. We'll make it enough. And five months will fly by."

"Doug, I was thinking, I dunno if it's a good thing but I had an idea."

"I'm all ears."

"Well, I'm fifty years old. I'll be almost fifty-one when Petey is born."

"Number Two Son."

_Kick Kick.  
_  
"Yes," she smiled a little, "Number Two Son. And I was thinking, I mean, I'm getting hot flashes throughout this pregnancy. I think I might want to be over and done with everything. I think I'd like for Miva to just tie my tubes, maybe the same time she does the _O'Day Reversal_ again."

"No more kids? I thought we'd have our own team."

"You honestly think, even if I don't get my tubes tied, that we'll have enough for a basketball team, let alone a baseball team?"

"I dunno. I guess not. But it's just, you're really amazing when you're pregnant."

"Even when I'm barfing with morning sickness?"

"Yes, even then. It's kinda why we're in this mess to begin with. Beautiful white hot flame. I just want to be near it," he said, kissing her.

"Then dream with me," she said softly.

"I'm just afraid I'll like it too much. It's not real, it's not true. No dream is like this, like us."

"Math, then?"

"Yeah, we'll do math. Every night and every morning if you like," he said.

_Kick.  
_  
"I should really see Phlox at some point; ask him about all this kicking," Lili said, patting her stomach.

"Later," he said.

5

Lili stood up and got a change of clothes out of a drawer. And one more thing, a bracelet, from Lafa II, made of the same material as their wedding rings. She slipped it on and it fit, but barely. Her wrists had swollen, along with everything else, "It's _Movie Night_ tonight," she said, putting on fresh clothes.

"Oh? Uh, are you okay with me passing? The game is on."

"Ah, yes."

"Well, it's another reason why this is a superior universe," he said, catching clean boxers that she tossed to him, "You have football. It's preseason and all."

"Ah, yes, very important meaningless games," she smiled, "I didn't know you'd make me a football widow."

"You watch sometimes."

"Yeah, I do," she admitted, "But I can't get into it until it gets a lot later on."

"Well, watch with me and maybe I can persuade you to change your mind," he said.

"Or, you can go to _Movie Night_ with me."

"What are they playing?"

"A French film - _The King of Hearts_," she said.

"A chick flick? Uh, no thanks," he said, making a face.

"All right, suit yourself," she said, "I'll take Joss so you can watch with a lot of sound and Yimar can get a little peace."

"Thanks," he said, "And I'll see you after, for the second half of your double feature," he kissed her.

_Kick.__  
_

=/\=

Jonathan yawned. First shift was basically done.

"Clear of the Lafa System, sir," Travis said.

"Good, steady on to Earth."

"Captain," T'Pol said, "I'm picking up some EM radiation."

Jonathan punched on the console on his chair, "Tripp, we're getting signs of EM radiation."

"I see it, Cap'n," Tripp replied, "Origin is a little difficult to detect. Could be from the Lafa System's equivalent to our Kuiper Belt. I'll keep an eye on it. Might wanna polarize the hull plating."

"Malcolm ..?" Jonathan said.

"Ah, yes, done," he said, fiddling with controls, "I think we'll be all right."

"Radiation is within tolerable limits," T'Pol said.

"Keep an eye on it when the shift changes," Jonathan said, "And let me know if it gets intolerable."

"Of course, Captain," said the Vulcan.

=/\=

Melissa sat in her and Jennifer's quarters, alone. She punched in to her console, "Madden to Hoshi Sato."

"Yes?" came Hoshi's voice from the Bridge.

"Can you put me through to Ceres, to Leonora Digiorno?"

"Sure. Hang on a sec," Hoshi clicked a few times, "There, go ahead," she got off the line and left Melissa to her call.

"Norri!" Melissa called out when Leonora's face came into view.

"Ah, good to see your pretty face," Norri said, "How're things going? Ya miss me?"

"Buckets," Melissa said, "Wish I was home with you again."

"Well, you gotta do assignments so we can eat. Being an editor isn't as lucrative," Norri admitted.

"Any really funny typos?"

"Nothing much lately. Just the usual '_there_' for '_their_'. I've been reviewing a lot of dull romance novels. Boy meets girl. Very little girl meets girl."

"Well, we write our own love story," Melissa said, "With a few twists."

"Yeah, the twists," Norri said, "I'm not so sure I like the twists."

"This is what you get for falling in love with someone who's bi. Temptation is all around."

"Sure. But you don't have to give in to it."

=/\=

_Movie Night_ was well-attended. Lili took an aisle seat. When people noticed she had Joss in her arms, and he was squirming a bit, they gave her some room.

"Good evening!" Chip Masterson called out from the front of the room, "Welcome, as always, to _Movie Night_. In honor of our own Jennifer Crossman getting married in a few weeks, we have some romantic films. Tonight is Philippe de Broca's _'King of Hearts'_, starring Alan Bates and I can't figure out how to pronounce this actress's name so I'll just mangle it. Gen –"

"Geneviève Bujold," Lili called out.

_Kick Kick Kick.  
__  
_"Ah, thank you from the Peanut Gallery," Chip replied, "This is not just a romance, it's an anti-war story. Talk all you like; it's subtitled. Roll it, Aidan."

The lights dimmed, and a figure sat down next to Lili. Joss squirmed a little, "Unka," he said.

"Shh. Later, Joss," Lili said, adjusting him in her arms and handing him the all-important dinosaur toy.

Joss only spoke one more time during the picture, when there were canaries on the screen, "Elekai," he said.

"Yes, kind of," said the figure next to Lili. It was Malcolm.

"Shh, shh," Lili said, "Play a little with Dino," she said to her son as the film continued.

"Want some popcorn?" Malcolm asked her quietly.

"No free hands," she said, "Unless, here, if you don't mind," she handed him the sleeping child for a second, took a few kernels, passed the bowl and took Joss back.

"You're rather quick with that," he said.

"You get that way."

_Kick.  
_  
"I didn't realize this picture would be about the First World War," Malcolm said, "Will you stay for the discussion afterwards?"

"Only if he doesn't start to fuss. Or if he needs a change, then we vamoose."

"Yes, of course. Motherhood seems to truly suit you."

"I really love it," she said, "But it is tiring. We may end up leaving even if he doesn't start to fuss," she yawned, "I'm kind of a cheap date these days. I can't party like I used to."

"I'm finding I prefer a quieter life now, myself," he admitted.

"Oh, c'mon, it must be fun to be the bachelor around town," she said.

"Only sometimes," he said quietly, and then turned his attention back to the film.

=/\=

The game got dull, and Doug ended up snoring in a chair.

_She was there, darker than Lili._

He was younger than he was. Younger and stupider, he would have said, but it was a dream and you can be stupid in dreams.

She was touching him.

He remembered what that was like. It felt like it used to, two decades before.

She stopped what she was doing for a second. He kissed her. Same old feeling, the excitement.

She smiled at him, "Susan," he said.

"Yes, Doug?"

"I like the way you do things."

"Oh? And what if I do them some other way?"

"I get the feeling I'd like that, too."

She smiled again, dark brown eyes, short black hair in the tightest, kinkiest curls, small gap between her two front teeth, "When are you leaving again, Soldier Boy?"

"I don't know," he said, "Come on. Leave Titania and come along."

"They don't need schoolteachers on your ship, Soldier Boy."

"You can do something else," he said.

"You just wanna get some," she said, then went back to things.

He didn't speak anymore. He couldn't. It felt too damned good to ruin it with talk.  


=/\=

The film was maybe three-quarters of the way finished when Joss woke up and began to fuss a bit, "That's my cue," she said, and left.

She found Doug sleeping in the chair. He said the word _'Titania'_. Hmm.

She noticed his condition, and brought Joss into the other room, where Yimar was already sleeping.

"No dreaming, huh?" she said to herself.

"'Ommy, _Duck Duck_," Joss said sleepily.

"Sleep now," she said quietly.

She returned to their room in time to see Doug jolted awake.

"Huh, oh, didn't see you come in," he said.

"You didn't hear me, either, I see."

"It was not a Calafan-style dream. Just a regular dream," he said, "Didn't mean to, you know."

"I know. So, wanna tell me about it at all?"

"It was Susan Cheshire," he said, "I dated her a good quarter of a century ago. Haven't thought of her much in the past twenty years."

"Does she look like me?"

"No. She's as dark as Travis," Doug said.

"Oh. Hmm."

"Are you jealous? I mean, it was just a dream," he said.

"No, not jealous. I don't like jealousy. It's toxic."

"It wasn't like, like the dreams you and I shared when we first met," he said, "Nowhere near as good. You have nothing to be concerned about."

"How did it end with, uh, Suzanne?"

"Susan. She turned out to be a raging alcoholic. It took me a few months to really recognize that."

"She was probably a very hard person to love."

"I don't know that I loved her," Doug said, "It wasn't anything like us. I wonder why I dreamed about her at all."

"Maybe you miss a little of that," Lili said.

"No. I don't miss any of it," he assured her, "Come to bed."

"I just, uh, I just want to sleep. I've had a very full day. Okay?"

"Of course it's okay," he said, watching her slip off the bracelet, "You and Number Two Son need to sleep."

Lili crawled into bed and kissed Doug, "If I talk in my sleep, don't hold it against me," she said drowsily.

"I never do."

=/\=

_She was her age, but not pregnant. She knew him, kind of. He was someone she'd known a good thirty years before, but aged to the present. It was the big town square at New France, on Titan. Crazy dreams._

"Paul?" she asked, "Paul Mayer?"

"Yes."

"You look good."

"So do you. Your grandparents around?" he asked.

"Paul, they've been dead for over twenty years."

"Oh, well, then I guess you're free."

"I guess so," she hugged him, and it turned into a French kiss. Suddenly they were in the back seat of his car, parked somewhere dark. There were trees nearby.

"What is this leading to?" she asked.

"Whaddaya think? I got stuff."

"I bet," she said.

He brought out a fifth, and they both drank from it, "You know I love you," he said.

"That stuff is rancid," she said, after taking another swig, "You sure your parents know you're out this late?"

"They won't be looking for me here," he said, "C'mon, let's get that tee shirt off."

"You ever do this with anyone before me?" she asked.

"No," he said.

The dream jump cut and everything felt hot and friction-y. It hurt a bit, but that was more bulk than anything else. It was all over in a few minutes.

"Don't, um, don't tell anyone we did that," she said.

"Not to worry," he said.  


=/\=

"_Don't, um, don't tell anyone we did that_,_"_ Lili said in her sleep.

She awoke, "Ugh," she said. Doug was awake, looking at her.

"Active dream, huh?"

"I lost my virginity again."

"Oh. Didn't turn out so well, eh?"

"No. He, Paul, uh, I told him to keep it quiet. I knew my grandfather would kill me. And it was, like, a day or so later and it was all over my High School."

"It was a long time ago," Doug said.

"It's a little fresh in the mind sometimes."

_Kick.  
_  
"Like Susan," he said, "I'd fix them up with each other but they're in different universes."

"I suppose so," Lili said.

=/\=

"Commander," Melissa said as she piloted the _Enterprise_ in the middle of the night, "I think that EM radiation is worsening."

"Are we still within tolerance limits?" asked T'Pol.

"Yes, but the concentration is climbing."

"Can you tell where it's coming from?"

"I think it's coming from all around us. I can't get a fix on it."

"I'll alert the Captain," T'Pol said.

6

Early morning, alarm going off.

Lili lay on top of a strong left arm, with a powerful chest behind her that was breathing regularly. She opened her eyes and followed the arm to its wrist and hand and fingers, to the wedding ring she'd given Doug a year and a half before. It was a dull grey metal, a plain but tall band, "'Morning," she said softly.

"Ah, here, the alarm's on my side," he said, "Lean forward a sec," he took his arm away, rolled over and shut off the alarm, "Got, I think a little while before Joss and Yimar are up."

She kissed him, "I've still got a little sleep in my eyes," she rubbed them.

"Can I wake you up a bit more?" he asked.

"Sure," she said, "But I think we'd better be a bit quick about it, before someone gets it in his head that he wants breakfast."

They kissed. "You first," she said.

"Oh?"

"Yeah," she smiled at him, "Unless you object."

"Nope," he said, lying back and folding his arms behind his head.

Doug thought to himself, even a bad one of these is good.

There was a chime at the door.

"Damn," he said.

They straightened up in bed and made sure the blanket was around them, "Uh, come in," Lili said.

"'Ommy! 'Ommy!"

"Sorry, we, uh, he's hungry," Yimar said.

Joss got onto the bed between them. He patted Lili, "Milk?"

"No. We have to save that for Petey. Petey's going to be very hungry when he comes out," Lili said.

"Joss, do you know where Petey is?" Doug asked his son.

"Uhhh," Joss thought for a minute, then touched Lili's belly.

"That's right," Lili said, "And he'll be here in five months. I know that's a long, _long_ time from now," she glanced at Doug, "but the time will go by quickly. And then after that you'll have a playmate. Would you like that?"

Joss nodded.

"I don't know how much of that he got," Doug said.

"Well, maybe not much," Lili admitted, "He just needs to know this is a good thing that's happening."

"I'll, um, I can take him to breakfast," Yimar offered.

"It's okay," Doug said, "We're getting up anyway. Gonna see Doctor Phlox this morning," he got up and hustled himself into the bathroom. The shower started running.

"He's the cleanest human I've ever known," Yimar said, "Not that I have a lot of experience with such things."

"Yes. Very clean," Lili said.

=/\=

Shift change on the _NX-01_. Oh eight hundred hours.

In Engineering, Tripp Tucker and Jennifer Crossman replaced José Torres and Josh Rosen, "EM radiation is still climbing. We can't quite find the cause," Torres said.

"Okay, you're on that, Crossman," Tripp said.

"Yes, sir," she replied.

At the pilot's station, Travis arrived to relieve Melissa, "Hiya," he said.

"Going steady," she said, "That radiation doesn't seem to be affecting our course or our speed."

At Tactical, Malcolm replaced Aidan MacKenzie, "Ensign, stand down," Malcolm said to MacKenzie.

"Yes, sir. Hull plating is still polarized, with no fluctuations."

At Security, Deborah Haddon relieved Azar Hamidi, "All is secure," he said to her.

"Thank you," she took her usual place several meters in the back, with a clear view of the Captain's chair and the remainder of the Bridge.

At Communications, Hoshi greeted Chip, "Nothing much is happening," he yawned, "It's just radiation. No one's trying to talk to us. We can still ping the closest buoy in the Lafa System."

T'Pol got up from the Captain's chair when Jonathan arrived, "EM radiation is increasing steadily but still within acceptable tolerance limits. Etiology remains unknown. I can perform an analysis later."

"When you get a chance," he said, "Thanks."

=/\=

Sick Bay was lively with active animals. Lili sat on a bio bed, fiddling with her bracelet.

"Ah, how's my favorite Obstetrics patient?" Phlox asked.

"You mean your _only _Obstetrics patient," she replied.

"Well, I didn't want to say," he smiled at her, with that slightly too wide Denobulan grin that was a tad unnerving to most humans, "Having any troubles? I have your records from your Calafan physician, Doctor Miva."

"I'm really, really er, interested. All the time. And so is Doug," Lili said.

"Well, for some human males, the pregnancies of their partners can be quite stimulating," Phlox said, "You must enjoy the fact that you're responsible for her condition," he said to Doug.

"Yes. Definitely," Doug said.

"As for you Ens – uh, Mrs. Beckett," Phlox said.

"Please, just call me by my first name," Lili said.

"Very well. Pregnancy comes with a rush of hormones and a flood of emotions. For some women, if they continue to feel attractive – and if their partners continue to assure them of their attractiveness – those women can become very interested in relations. More so than usual. Stimulus and release probably come rather easily."

"Definitely," she said, "But things are frustrating right now."

"This is a high-risk pregnancy. I've been looking at your records and I see that Miva says while you don't have _placenta previa_, the placenta is still rather large and is in a rather vulnerable position. Plus of course you already have a little one running around. Privacy must be rather difficult to come by. I have children; I know what that is like."

"What's _placenta previa_?" Doug asked.

"It's a condition whereby the placenta grows in the lowest part of the uterus and covers all or part of the opening to the cervix. Intercourse is not recommended at all, of course."

"But you said Lili doesn't have that. So why is Miva telling us we can't do anything?" Doug asked, although he pretty much already knew the answer.

"First, Lili's age. Fifty is not a young age for a pregnancy, although it does not break records for the oldest natural pregnancy. But it is, by definition, high risk. Second, the placenta isn't covering the opening to the cervix but it is close. And, the third part you know. You have issues with controlling your own strength, even under the best of circumstances, never mind during the throes of passion. Plus, as you are well aware, the _O'Day Reversal_ – the operation I devised to make everything fit properly – it has been temporarily dismantled to accommodate the growth of the fetus. There is no room, the placenta is too close, and you can harm either Lili or the fetus if you puncture either the placenta or the uterus," Phlox stated.

"Well, it didn't hurt to ask," Lili said, putting her hand on Doug's arm. The bracelet glinted a tiny bit in the light of Sick Bay.

"Here, let's have a look," Phlox said.

She lay back and he placed her in the scanner.

"Ah, there it is," Phlox said, showing Doug on the screen, "There is your baby."

"Huh. Crossed legs – he must be modest, eh? He's small."

"Well, he should be. This is only the twenty-first week after all. Very interesting, I would not have believed it myself if I were not seeing it. The placenta is _enormous_! How much weight would you say you have gained, Lili?" Phlox asked.

"Maybe thirty-five, thirty-six kilos. This happened last time, with Joss. During the first trimester, I alternated between barfing and eating everything in sight – mainly meat. Then I stopped gaining for the rest of the pregnancy."

"According to Miva's records, your placenta and your son shifted in terms of weight. So if Joss was a quarter of a kilo to begin with, eventually he became about, let's see, ah, over eight kilos when he was born. A rather large baby – I see you had a Cesarean. I suspect you'll need to have another one," Phlox clicked a control on the bio bed and it brought Lili out of the scanner.

"Yes, I have one scheduled for January," Lili said, "He's very active, kicking all the time."

"Well, that's good. But I can see where that would be troublesome," Phlox said, "It's probably, huh, let's see if we can induce a kick," he pressed on her abdomen.

_Kick.__  
_  
"That_ is_ rather powerful," Phlox said, "At twenty-one weeks, you should not be feeling that much. After all, what we refer to as kicking is usually just the fetus turning over. I suspect the enormous placenta is amplifying everything. Most unusual, but you have other unusual things going on."

"Other unusual things? Bad things?" Doug asked.

"Oh, no," Phlox said, as Lili got dressed again, "I took the liberty of running an experiment – I do hope you don't mind, but I was rather curious about this."

"About what?" Lili asked.

"Your age. The chances of having a child with Down's Syndrome is increased. Yet neither Joss nor this fetus appears to have the syndrome. I did an investigation as I still have a sample from you, Doug."

"Oh?" Doug asked.

"Yes. I mixed your sample with, well, I must explain: human eggs that carry Down's Syndrome and other genetic issues can emit a different hormonal signature than eggs that don't have such issues. I checked. Your sperm only gravitate in the direction of eggs without such issues. Otherwise, they turn tail and die."

"You didn't make fetuses or anything, did you?" Lili asked, a little alarmed.

"No, I didn't use eggs – just the hormones. But it's a fascinating window into the overall concept of _Survival of the Fittest_. In the universe where you originated, Doug, there must be very few genetic issues. The figure is likely not to be, absolutely, zero. But the incidence is probably a lot less than we have here. That has carried over, of course, to here, because you are here. It appears that you are introducing a rather powerful bit of evolutionary biology into the human gene pool."

"I remember you once referred to Doug as the super male," Lili said.

"Indeed," Phlox said, "Your sons will likely inherit this tendency from you."

"That probably explains why I didn't get pregnant immediately after we began to do it again after Joss was born," Lili said.

"That was a good eight months," Doug said, squeezing her hand.

"There were probably a few less than optimal eggs in the pipeline," Phlox said, "Oh and another thing, which probably also should help to explain the huge placenta and the powerful kicking – you are awash in testosterone."

"I'm pregnant. How is that even _possible_?"

"Another bit of survival strategy, most likely. Probably makes the mother stronger and faster as needed."

"I'm waddling around like a whale."

"You can probably move quickly if you have to," Phlox said, "And the fetus is awash as well. It's affecting every test and every instrument I've got."

"The super male makes super babies," Lili said.

=/\=

Yimar and Joss sat in the cafeteria. Everyone else had left. He was still struggling a little with a bowl of oatmeal, but was refusing to let her help him.

Brian walked in, "Ah, company," he said. He had a bowl of his own in his hands, "I usually eat alone after the breakfast rush."

"Do you want us to go?" Yimar asked.

"No, no, of course not. Is he okay?"

"Oh, sure. He just wants to try to feed himself. And, as you can see, he's not too good at it. But he does try."

"Yimar, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"What's the silver stuff on your arms? And, uh, Lili has some silver on her arms, too."

"Oh, well, for me, it's normal," Yimar explained, "It's called _calloo_. We start off solid silver and then, when we hit about thirty or so, you start to get white spots and before it goes away completely it eventually becomes this kind of elaborate scrollwork. Lili's tattooed like that – she doesn't really have _calloo_. It's on our legs, too. Wanna see?"

"Uh, huh. I'll take your word for it," Brian swallowed hard. Girls didn't normally offer to show him their legs.

"Oh, it's no trouble, really," she said, hiking up a pant leg, "See? All silvery."

"How, um, how old are you, Yimar?" he was a little uncomfortable.

"Old enough," she said, "I get night offers. I can act on them if I want to."

"I don't understand what that means."

"We sleep with nighttime people," she said, "Here, Joss let me help you."

"You _what_?"

"We go to sleep and we dream of nighttime people," she said, "Wait, Lili told me you don't have nighttime people."

"Well, we do have sleeping with people," Brian said, "Maybe it's not what you're talking about. I, uh, I don't think we should be talking about this in front of Joss."

"Ohhhhh," The light dawned, "It's sleeping, not sex. Well, it can be. And I am old enough now. Are you old enough?"

"Uhh, yeah," he said. Not that that did him any good usually, "I'm, uh, I'm twenty-one."

"Oh, I thought you were older. It's all that hair. I'm sixteen," she said.

"Six-sixteen? And you're, um, old enough?"

"Yes. I am," she said, "Can I ask you something? Since you asked me and all."

"Uh, I guess so."

"Why is everybody so hairy? Is this a ship full of really old people?" she asked.

"No. I mean, most of them are older than me but nobody's _really _old."

"See, when you're a Calafan, you start off totally hairless like I still am," she explained, "It's another thing, you hit about thirty or so and you start to get fuzzy. You get really furry when you're really old. My Father is pretty furry. My Mother is still a great beauty, lots of pretty _calloo_ and not too hairy. I feel like I'll never be pretty like her," she complained.

"I dunno," he said, "Maybe you just need to grow into it."

"What about that really tall guy? He doesn't have a lot of hair, or at least it looks kinda thinner in the back. Is he younger than you are?"

"José Torres?" Brian asked, "I think he's around ten or more years older than I am. And, uh, he's losing his hair, not getting it."

"You humans are weird," Yimar said.

=/\=

On the Bridge, Hoshi dropped her Communications earpiece, "Agghhh!" she cried out.

"Hoshi!" yelled Jonathan, and then they all heard it – a high-pitched whine.

"We're being scanned!" T'Pol yelled over the din.

=/\=

In Sick Bay, Phlox, Lili and Doug covered their ears.

Just as suddenly as it had started, the whine stopped.

"You'd better stay here," Phlox said.

"Where are you going?" Lili cried out to Doug.

"To the Armory. I can help there."

"Be careful!"

He kissed her and ran out, but he didn't get far.

26


	3. Chapters 0709

7

The entire ship was knocked out.

Everyone from Phlox and his Derellian bat, to T'Pol, to Melissa, to Joss, to Porthos, to Malcolm, to Shelby in the Botany Lab, to Yimar, to Jonathan, to Lili and even the baby she was carrying – all were unconscious.

No one saw the boarding party, consisting of two different species. One species was tall, taller than even José Torres, carrying shocking sticks to subdue anyone who might, for whatever reason, not be fully unconscious. The other species was smaller, more human-sized, with strange, plant-like appendages on their heads and kind of vestigial wings. They were in charge of the taller ones, directing them and having them fetch and carry.

No one noticed the physical examinations, the stripping down of the ten candidates or the internal and external appraisals of them, "Good choices," said one of the smaller members of the boarding party, a female.

No one noticed the ten being taken off the ship. No one noticed the immense, cloaked ship they were taken to. No one noticed that ship depart at Warp Nine, faster than any ship they knew. _No one_.

=/\=

On the other ship, the ten were separated by gender. They were washed and dried, and inspected again. A vet took charge and looked them over. Any viruses were zapped, and all idiosyncrasies documented for later study.

The women woke first, in one chamber. Everyone had a fresh set of clothes next to them. It was just two pieces – a pair of underpants and a shift dress. With nothing else to do, they put them on.

_Kick.  
_  
Lili noticed her clothes were a bit supportive – a good thing, considering how her center of gravity had shifted. The others were clingier, more revealing. She looked around. The pilot, what was her name, Melinda? Jennifer. There was a security officer. And Hoshi.

"What do you think we should do, Hoshi?" asked the security officer, "You're our commanding officer."

"I guess, I am, Deb," Hoshi said, "We should, uh, figure out where we are, and try to contact the _Enterprise_."

"There's a panel up in the ceiling," Jennifer said, looking up.

"Looks like an air vent," Melissa said.

=/\=

Then the men awoke, in their own chamber. They, too, had fresh clothes, undershorts that were kind of long, down to the knee, and a shirt that wrapped. It all seemed to be made of a kind of linen. Jonathan stood up first, "Thoughts?" he asked.

"Scan plus EM radiation must equal this," Tripp said, "Whatever and wherever this is."

"Walls are solid," Malcolm said, banging one with the heel of his hand.

"There's an air shaft up there," Doug pointed, "But it's too high for any of us to reach."

"We're moving quickly," Travis said, "We must've been knocked out when we jumped to warp. This feels faster than the _Enterprise_."

"How fast?" Jonathan asked.

"It even feels faster than any Vulcan ship I've ever been on. They can do Warp Seven, right? I dunno, this feels faster," Travis said.

"Can you estimate at all?" Tripp asked.

"I don't really have a basis for comparison," Travis admitted, "Nine, maybe? Eight and a half? I'm lost."

The wall in front of them went from solid to transparent. They could see the women, but there was a hallway in between. And a person was standing there. The same one who'd commented while still on the _Enterprise_, but they had no way of knowing that. That one spoke.

"Slime molds! I will talk, and you will listen. This can be very pleasant, or it can be quite nasty. It all depends," she said.

Jonathan demanded, "Who's in charge here? Are you?"

"Now, now, like I said, I talk. But I will answer two questions that slime molds always have. First off, I am a Witannen. And my name is Quellata. Now for the fun."

They could hear a hissing gas coming out of the vents above. The wall went dark again, and they were again knocked out.

=/\=

"Report!" yelled T'Pol when she came to, and then she realized she was nearly completely alone on the Bridge. Night shift. They wouldn't be very awake but they'd have to do. She banged the intercom to get it to work, "I need the following crew members to report to the Bridge on the double! Masterson! Torres! Madden! MacKenzie! And, uh, Hamidi!"

=/\=

Chip Masterson was dreaming. _He was performing in that little comedy club on Risa. He was _killing_._

He said, to an eager audience mostly filled with extremely hot Orion slave girls, "So this Klingon, an Andorian and a Vulcan walk into a bar. And the Klingon's a male, super-tall. And he's completely buck naked, except for a strategically placed piece of string to which there's attached this note. So the bartender gets curious and he reads the note, which says ..." _  
_  
The Communications chime was loud, and woke him.

"Damn, I never get to finish the joke," he said out loud to the empty room, and then realized how urgent the call was.

=/\=

Everyone except for Madden reported, "Where is Crewman Madden?" T'Pol asked, a little desperate.

"I, uh, I don't know, Commander," said Crewman Hamidi, "There are people missing. Dunno how many."

"Mr. Masterson, you will be in charge of the head count," T'Pol said, "There are at least the six missing from the Bridge: the Captain, Mr. Tucker, Mr. Reed, Mr. Mayweather and Ensign Sato. And, um, Security Officer Haddon."

Phlox called in, "I just lost my patient," he said, "And it was not in the conventional way. Mrs. Beckett has gone missing."

=/\=

They awoke in separate chambers, paired off, two by two, in plain rooms furnished with nothing but a bare mattress on the floor with a thin blanket. The lights were dim but they could still make out who was who.

Deb stood up and smacked the wall, "Whoever you are, and whatever you want, I won't let you hurt the Captain!" she yelled.

"Crewman, I don't know if anyone's listening," Jonathan said.

"Well, just in case they are," she said, bristling.

=/\=

The second shift pilot would have to do, as Madden was definitely gone.

"Mr. Harris, report to the Bridge," T'Pol spoke into the intercom, again outwardly calm but inwardly, in turmoil. There were eight missing so far.

=/\=

"I don't suppose you've got a sense of what's going on, Travis," Jennifer said.

"Your guess is as good as mine," he replied, "I'm thinking it's not good if they call us slime molds."

"I'm sure you're right."

=/\=

Josh Rosen made his way to Engineering. He'd been roused out of a sound sleep by the general alarm. He punched a communications panel on the wall, "Rosen to Torres."

"Yes?" José answered from the Bridge.

"I don't see Crossman anywhere. She with you?"

Nine missing, T'Pol thought.

=/\=

Doug looked up at the ceiling, "Think you can reach that panel if you stand on my shoulders?"

"I dunno," said Melissa, "I'm less than one and two-thirds meters tall."

"That's okay. Together, we're over three. Here, step here."

"Don't let me fall."

=/\=

"Hayes – I mean, Beckett appears to be gone as well," Phlox reported in, "Can't say for certain but the timing seems right. He couldn't have gotten far from Sick Bay and he's nowhere near here. Phlox out."

Ten, thought T'Pol.

=/\=

"You scared?" Tripp asked Hoshi.

"A little. You?"

"I dunno. So far we're okay."

=/\=

Lili paced. Malcolm shouted. No one could hear him outside their chamber. He finally stopped.

"Sorry. I was hoping that would do some good. Now it's just made me a bit hoarse."

"I just wanna get my mind off things. You think they have Joss?" she asked, worriedly.

_Kick Kick Kick Kick.__  
_  
"I don't suppose they do. I think we'd have seen him when we were in the, I dunno what you'd call that. A debriefing. Mixed with insults."

She smiled wryly, "I should thank you for our wedding present."

"That'll take your mind off things," he said, "Did you, uh, was the shade of blue all right?"

"It was great. It was – there was a lot of thought put into it. I'll send you a letter, too. My grandmother did raise me with some manners. But, in person, thank you. It was very nice of you. And, and the rest of the Tactical Department," she fiddled nervously with her bracelet.

_Kick Kick.  
_  
He was about to comment on that when they heard and smelled a gas coming from the vent.

"That's not like the other we had earlier," he said, "It's kind of a fuchsia color."

"Do you think it'll kill us?" she asked, panic rising in her voice.

"Maybe," he said.

_Kick kick kick kick kick Kick Kick Kick.  
__  
_As Lili's stress level rose, the kicking got faster and sharper.

=/\=

The gas wasn't just coming into one chamber. It was hitting all five of them.

Melissa felt it first, as her face was closest to the source. She fell on top of Doug, who didn't do a very good job of catching her.

=/\=

Silently, Hoshi clutched Tripp's arm, digging her nails in.

=/\=

Jennifer stared into space. Travis swallowed hard.

=/\=

Deb continued pounding the wall as Jonathan watched.

=/\=

And then there were Lili and Malcolm.

She shook with fear and the pain of rapid-fire kicks. Her eyes shone.

He couldn't protect her, not really. He had nothing to give, perhaps, but an extra nanosecond of life. If they were to die, perhaps if he covered her she'd get an extra nanosecond. It was all he had. It would have to do.

He sat next to her, arms on top of her, holding her to his chest as they both panted and shook with fear.

_Kick kick kick kick kick kick kick –  
_  
And then the kicking suddenly stopped, and Lili let out a wail that wasn't human.

It wasn't for the end of her life, or the end of Malcolm's or even Doug's.

It was for a much-anticipated, much-hoped-for and much-loved baby that now would never be born.

8

Yimar sat in quarters, Joss climbing all over her. She punched a console button, "I need to contact Lafa II," she said.

Chip Masterson came on, "Hang on," he said, "Okay, go ahead."

Treve's face filled the little screen, "What's going on?" he asked jovially, then realized she was worried, "Are you all right?"

"There's, um, there's something going on," she said, voice a bit on edge, "Ten humans were grabbed, including his parents," she indicated Joss, who was holding onto the edge of a desk and sucking his thumb.

"Do you want to come home? Do you want me to call Father?" Treve asked.

"No, to both," she said, "I, they can't really let me off anyway. They have to go looking. And I almost want to see if I can work this out myself."

"Yimar, you don't have to."

"I know. But, uh, I kinda like being independent like this. And nobody ever leaves our system. I don't wanna spoil it for everybody."

"C'mon, you're not spoiling it. Things, they, they happen," Treve said.

"You get to be independent."

"I am six years older than you are, Yimar."

"Well, I still want to, I want to try. And I don't want to give up on his parents. It's only been a few hours. How far can any ship get? It's not like anyone can go faster than Warp Seven," she pointed out, "They have other ships that are looking, too."

"Is it the Klingons? Their space is nearby, you know."

"I know. And that's who they first contacted. It seems unlikely, or at least they didn't do anything official or anything like that."

"I don't want you to be in danger. You're my sister and I love you. Besides, Father will kill me if you get hurt."

She smiled a little, "I'll be fine. Like you said, things happen."

"Keep in touch," he said.

"I will. Yimar out."

She looked over at Joss, "'Ommy?" he asked.

"No, not Mommy."

"Daddy?"

"No, my brother is not your Daddy."

"'Ommy!" he yelled, then began to wail loudly.

She found the stuffed dinosaur, but that wasn't comforting enough. Then she set him on her lap, shushing him and rocking him, but that didn't work, either. He just kept howling "'Ommy! 'Ommy!" over and over again, teary and becoming more and more incoherent as his face reddened and got wetter and wetter.

Yimar began to realize she was his only caregiver and comforter, on a ship where she knew nearly no one.

=/\=

_Kick.__  
_  
Lili finally let out the breath she'd been holding. Still shaking, she looked up slightly, to see Malcolm still leaning over her, kind of smothering her a little bit, and kneeling in front of her.

Then she noticed something else.

A hand groping her.

Crystal blue eyes met darker blue eyes.

Then mouths collided.

Then other body parts collided.

And so it continued, in four other chambers, variations on a theme.

=/\=

_His accent made her giggle.  
He was strong.  
He had a great nose.  
His eyes sparkled.  
He was a good kisser._

She was hugely pregnant.  
It didn't matter.

She was always someone he'd thought of as a sister.  
It didn't matter.

She wasn't his type.  
It didn't matter.

She was young enough to be his daughter.  
It didn't matter.

She wasn't his wife.  
It didn't matter. _  
_

=/\=

Sleep overtook all, as it does after so much activity.

Deep, dreamless sleep.

=/\=

Yimar got up the following morning, late and still exhausted. She'd slept with Joss in her arms all night, in the bed that Lili and Doug had occupied. Perhaps Lili's smell would calm Joss down. Maybe he was just overly tired from crying. Whatever had happened, he had at least slept, "'Ommy?" he asked as soon as he was awake.

"Not yet," she said. She looked over the basket of fruit. It was all wholly unfamiliar. She punched the communications console, "I, um, can I talk to, uh, Brian?"

"Delacroix here," he answered.

"Oh, hi," she said, "There's fruit in here. I don't know how you eat it. Can you help me?"

"Once I get the breakfast dishes done. Uh, twenty minutes," he said.

=/\=

There was a kiss, to Lili's right ear. Then another, to her right temple. The mouth needed a shave, stubble brushing lightly on her face, breath a little warm, small smile next to her cheek. A right hand touched her waist lightly. She could feel the body behind her. Standard morning fare.

Lili lay on top of a strong left arm, with a powerful chest behind her that was breathing regularly. She opened her eyes and followed the arm to its wrist and hand and fingers, to no wedding ring, where she expected one.

Alarmed, she leapt up, as quickly as her bulk would allow.

_Kick kick kick Kick Kick Kick.___

She grabbed the thin blanket and covered herself. This left Malcolm exposed.

"Oh my God!" she yelled, "_What the hell is going on_?"

"What –!" he yelled back, then covered himself with his hands.

She turned away, found his shorts and threw them at him. Then she proceeded to look for her own clothes, while still covering herself with the blanket, "_What the hell happened_?"

"_Don't you know_?" he yelled back, putting on his shorts.

"Yeah, I guess I do know," she said, finding her underclothes, "Don't look," she commanded. He turned away as she got dressed.

=/\=

Similar scenes played out in the other four chambers.

=/\=

"_Get your hands off me_!" he yelled.

"I – what?"

"You heard me," he was seething. He stood up and got himself to the other side of the small room, then began to pace.

"Oh my God," she said, "I never did that with a guy before."

"Oh God," Doug said, running his hands through his hair, "You were untouched, Melissa?"

"Not exactly."

=/\=

"Crewman, I have behaved completely inappropriately," Jonathan said, "If you want to file a complaint with Starfleet when we return, I won't object."

"Sir, that won't be necessary," Deb said.

"You're within your rights."

"I know. But, it's okay."

"It is not okay."

"Yes it is, sir. 'Cause I wanted to do that."

"Huh?"

"Sir, every woman on the ship has a crush on the Captain. Or, at least, I know I do."

=/\=

Jennifer was sitting and rocking in a corner.

Travis got dressed and got up, "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."

"I can't tell Frank. Frank's gonna kill me. Frank's gonna kill me. Frank's gonna kill me," she kept repeating to herself.

"Jennifer, I'm sorry."

"Frank's gonna kill me. Frank's gonna leave me. Frank's gonna leave me," her voice rose in panic.

=/\=

"Do you s'pose we really meant to do that?" Tripp asked.

"Well, sure, on some level. It's almost like we were drunk," Hoshi said.

"Yeah. Inhibitions fall, libido rises. I've always respected you."

"I know. And I appreciate that. I always thought of you like a brother. Never this way."

"Never? Hmm. Well, I always thought you were kinda cute. But, you know, not approachable."

"Not approachable?" she asked, incredulous.

"Well, there's the age difference and all."

"It's not that much," she said, "Cute, huh? Like a puppy?"

"Ha, no. You know what I mean," he kissed her and she didn't object.

"You realize we can't do this when we get back to the _Enterprise_ if we expect to have a prayer of ever working together effectively again."

"I s'pose not," he said, "So, let's make the most of this."

9

There was a sound of hydraulics. The front walls were opened slightly, on the left. Barely seen alien hands threw two tubes into each of the five chambers, "Nutrition time!" yelled gruff, unfamiliar voices.

Malcolm got up and brought the tubes over to Lili, "It's not exactly your gourmet fare, I imagine," he said, handing them both to her.

"You get one of these," she said, trying to hand one back.

"I'm not hungry. Besides, you're the one who's eating for two."

"It won't do us any good if you starve yourself. Don't be a martyr."

"Very well," he said, "Only a little," he squeezed about fifteen cc's into his hand. The paste was whitish in color. He took a taste.

"And?" she asked.

"No flavor whatsoever."

"Well, this is prison. I guess," she uncapped the other one and squeezed a mass into her hand, then shoved it messily into her mouth, "Man!" she said, once she'd swallowed it, "Good thing I'm starving."

_Kick Kick.___

"Keep your strength up," he said, handing her the remains of the other one.

=/\=

Hoshi and Tripp looked theirs over.

"Looks like tubes of toothpaste I saw in a museum once," she said.

"Don't suppose they even know what we eat," he replied, "Gawd, this is bland. Want mine?"

=/\=

After about a half an hour, the front wall opened again. This time, it wasn't just unfamiliar hands, but entire bodies, tall alien guards. They were huge, almost two and a third meters tall. There was one assigned to each chamber, and they were wielding big sticks. The sticks were pointed between the men and the women, but were directed to the men. Jonathan got too close, and received a wicked shock to his midsection. Deb ran at the guard but was shocked as well. She fell to the floor and writhed a bit.

"Oh, come on!" It was Quellata, "Your first day! Really, slime molds, you'd think you'd be better at this," she was in the hall in front of the rooms, and wasn't holding a stick, but there was another guard, next to her, dwarfing her. He had one.

Quellata continued, "Now, so far, so good. But you do need to learn how to do this as well. See, this can be almost pleasant. So long as you keep production up, we'll get along fine. If you don't, things will become ... uncomfortable."

"What kind of production?" gasped Jonathan.

"Isn't it obvious?" Quellata asked, "It's the production of more humans."

Lili stayed as far away from the stick as possible. The guard was separating the two of them, and herding her out into the hallway. She tentatively stepped out.

"There now, that's right," Quellata said, "Follow this one. Females only."

Doug called Lili's name, and got his own nasty shock. Lili looked back, scared, but kept quiet.

_Kick Kick Kick Kick.  
_  
Pretty soon the five of them were out. Jennifer was really shaking. Lili took her hand.

"Stick together," Hoshi said quietly.

"We have rights!" yelled Tripp, "It's a part of the Tau Ceti Accords! You can't separate prisoners like this!"

For this, he got his own shock.

Quellata turned back briefly, "We're not signatories. No jurisdiction here," she said dismissively, then tossed her head and turned, green vines waving a little, and proceeded to walk down the hall. The women followed, prodded by the threatening guards.

=/\=

T'Pol sat in Jonathan's Ready Room, "Mr. Masterson, get me Admiral Gardner."

"Yes, Commander," There was a pause, "Ready."

"Admiral, we have a situation," she explained, "Ten of our people have been taken hostage. We don't know by whom."

"Yes, Admiral Black has told me. There are already ships on the lookout," he replied.

"Yes, but I think there needs to be a much larger search taking place," she said, "The abduction coincided with an enormous burst of EM radiation. We were unable to pinpoint the exact source as it appeared to be coming from all around the _Enterprise_. But there is more information now."

"And?"

"And we suspect that the lack of clarity was due to the source being enormous. As in, it was a ship far larger than the _Enterprise_, possibly large enough to engulf it completely. It was cloaked, as well."

"Any other bad news for me?"

"Without knowing the vessel's course, speed or configuration, we have little to go on," she stated, "Can we bring in more of our allies to assist?"

"Possibly. It's a bit of a diplomatic issue, though. We're attempting to put together an alliance of species, as you know. This is somewhat embarrassing."

"Admiral, I suggest you get beyond that. The Captain could be anywhere, and in any condition. As could, among others, two civilians."

"Yes, of course. Any other ideas on why the ten were, specifically, chosen?" he asked.

"Only that they were all humans. Two pilots, two engineers, one Armory Officer, one former Armory Officer, one MACO, one Communications Officer, one former sous-chef and the Captain – and they were not all pulled from the same parts of the ship. The logic is not yet apparent."

"Keep trying. And we'll see if we can get the Andorians involved. Gardner out."

=/\=

The women were led to a large chamber off the same hallway. It contained several females of different species and about one guard for each five or so of the prisoners. They were placed in there.

Quellata spoke, "This is exercise time. You will not stay with your own species. Everyone follows around. There is no sitting and no stopping, and there is no talking. You," she indicated Lili, "get behind this one," she pointed to a female humanoid Xindi. Lili did as she was told.

Jennifer got behind a tall Andorian. Hoshi got in front of a Vulcan. Deb was placed behind a Klingon. Melissa got in front of that same Klingon and behind a shorter Andorian. Quellata, satisfied with the placements, left.

They began to shuffle around slowly. The Xindi in front of Lili spoke quietly, "Lean forward," she said.

"We're not supposed to talk," Lili whispered.

"Never mind that. Keep the volume low and stop when they tell you to. There are plenty of spots where they can't really hear us. I am Dayah."

"My name is Lili. How long have you been here? What is this place?"

"It is a holding center. The Witannen – and their helpers, the Imvari – you've seen the big guards, yes? They are gathering up species with Warp capabilities. We're not sure why."

"Oh. I wonder why they want us knowing Warp Drive."

"No idea," Dayah said, "Possibly it's a means of gauging our overall intelligence."

"Quiet over there!" yelled one of the Imvari.

They did as told, continuing to walk and then turned at a corner. Dayah whispered, "I have been here for about three years. The Andorians have been here for about nine. The Klingons, six. The Vulcans are newer – two years soon. You're replacing the Kreetassans."

"Replacing?"

"Yes. They didn't keep production up. So they were sent to a different unit."

"Unit?"

"We aren't the only twenty-five females on this ship. There are probably hundreds. We suspect three of the other Xindi species are here as well – just not Aquatics – too difficult. You have to be bipedal and breathe air to be here, so far as we can tell, and believe. The Andorians have seen a few species come and go. But don't talk to that tall one. See the one in front of the human with the orange hair? Leveqa."

"Why shouldn't I talk to her?" Lili asked.

"You are expecting, yes? Rather clever of Quellata, to bring you in. Proven production – plus she gets credit for your child this quarter, I suspect."

"I'm not due for another five months or so."

"My, well, then she'll get credit next year."

"You still didn't tell me why I shouldn't talk to that one."

"Quiet over there!" yelled another guard.

Several minutes later, Lili asked, "Well?"

"It's stress. No good for your baby. You have enough stress. Just don't talk to Leveqa," They turned, and could see the men, across a little hallway, in a similar room, also shuffling around slowly with other species.

Lili stopped for a second.

"Keep moving!" yelled a guard.

"Oh," she said, and did as demanded.

"Ah, yes. It's always a bit of a thrill to see them, isn't it?" Dayah asked.

"Thrill?"

"There's not a lot to do here. But Quellata has learned that if she treats us a bit better, we give her better production than in the other units. So we get the gas, which makes everything a lot ... easier. And we get the clean ups and the clothes and the tube food. Have you had it?"

"Yes, it's terrible."

"Oh, you're not doing that right," Dayah said, "You can think up any taste you like. Just think and it will be it. It works on your brain chemistry a bit like the gas does. At least, that's what we think. Now, let me show you my fellow, and you can show me yours."

"My fellow?"

"Why, yes. We're all paired up, and you must be as well. They keep you together until you produce, then you get a few months with the infant. Then they switch you to another."

"Another? I'm not with my husband. Can we be switched so that we're together?"

"They don't take requests," Dayah said, "Plus you're supposed to be switched about in order to cover all of the possible combinations. I'm going to assume your baby was fathered by your husband. And if so, you'll be kept apart until each of you has gone through all of the others. How long is typical gestation?"

"Um, nine months."

"Plus it takes a little while to get pregnant. Could be five or so years until you're together again."

"I don't think I'll be able to bear children for more than maybe another year," Lili admitted, swallowing hard.

"Oh, they extend that. I was supposed to end a good two or so years ago. I am sixty-three. Yet here I am, cavorting with my fellow and waiting to begin producing again. Here, let me show him to you. You see your men, right?"

"Of course."

"Not the one with yellowish hair and not the dark-skinned one. There are three human males, one is shorter than the other two? My Emmiz is behind one of the tall ones. See?"

There was a Xindi behind Jonathan, "Yes, I think so. He's behind our Captain if it's who I think it is. He's very young."

"Almost twenty," she sighed a tiny bit, "He's so sweet and lovely. Best one I've had here so far."

Another Xindi woman called out, "You should thank me. I taught him all he knows."

"Quiet over there!"

=/\=

The men were having their own conversations. Doug was a few places behind Malcolm, "Reed," he said, "you and me, once this is over. I don't care where," he was livid.

"_Enough_," Jonathan said in a stage whisper. He was several spots behind Doug, "That's an order."

"Quiet!"

"You can't give me orders, I'm retired from Starfleet," Doug said through clenched teeth.

"Look," Jonathan said, "I can't begin to know how it feels for you. But right now you both need to be concentrating on getting out of here. And Hayes – uh, Beckett. You're covered by our laws, you know."

"Not so loud," Emmiz said behind him, "Don't ruin it for everyone."

=/\=

Lili pointed out Malcolm, and then Doug, to Dayah.

"Ah, they gave you the shortest one. Hmmpf. And your husband?"

"He is the oldest one," Lili replied, "I miss him."

"Try not to think of that. You'll only upset yourself and that's not good for the baby."

"What happens to the babies?"

"We're not sure. You get a few months together, the three of you. No gas. Then you hand over the baby and that's the last we've seen of them. We don't believe anything bad happens to them. There's far too much trouble taken to get them born in the first place. But we don't really know," Dayah admitted.

"How many children have you had?"

"Four here. A boy, a girl and then twin boys last time. My man then, he and I got extra rations. This doesn't count my eldest girl, of course."

"You have a daughter who isn't here?"

"Correct. She is a medical student. Are any of your people doctors?"

"None."

"A pity. I am the closest anyone comes. I am a midwife, self-taught. I stepped up when we first got here – there was no one, and one of the Kreetassans went into labor while we were in here."

"If this baby is as big as my son, I'll need a C-section. Can you do that?"

"No. I have nothing to cut with."

"I – the baby will be too big. He'll kill me coming out."

_Kick Kick.  
_  
"They have a vet that can take care of that."

"A vet," Lili said, "Gawd."

"Quiet!"

Lili whispered after a few minutes, "Does the gas work on everyone the same way?"

"Yes, I believe so. It makes us all very, ahem, interested. Of course there are some who don't need it."

"Don't need it?"

"Like you and your husband. Surely you would both be willing if you were paired up?"

"Of course."

"The gas works for about six or so hours. Then we all mostly sleep, and usually pretty soundly. It's tiring work, after all. And then you wake up, and you're usually tangled together because you fell asleep that way. But some, they wake up and they still want to. Those – and I am lucky my Emmiz is one of them! – those don't need the gas. They're interested anyway."

Lili touched her own right temple a second. She'd been kissed there that very morning.

_Kick.__  
_

=/\=

Exercise finally ended after a few hours. They were herded away, by species. First went the Vulcans, on both sides.

"What's happening?" Travis asked an Andorian in front of him.

"You clean up. It's voluntary this time. You get fresh clothes. Then we go back to the women," he sighed, "I am with Leveqa right now, to my undying shame and misery. All I can hope is to do the deed quickly so I can move on to one of the others."

"Shame?"

"A great beauty," he pointed her out, just in front of Jennifer, "But the heart is made of titanium and frozen carbon dioxide. She almost ruined it for us."

=/\=

They were the last species allowed to clean up, even after the Andorians. These were big, communal showers, with no thought to modesty. It was quick, and then they were dried by blown air and found their new clothes. Then, as before, it was the women first. They were prodded down the hallway and separated into their chambers. The men soon followed and Lili heard Doug one time, swearing at Malcolm, before the front wall closed.

_Kick kick Kick Kick Kick._

25


	4. Chapters 1012

10

There were two more tubes in the room. Malcolm handed them both to Lili, "Luncheon. Or supper, I suppose. I've lost track of the hours."

"High tea, maybe?" she handed one back.

"No, thank you," he said, "It's too bland. I'll wait until I'm truly starving."

"Oh, we learned, it's supposed to be, you can make up anything and it'll taste like it."

"How very curious. Hmm," he took a taste, "Hard-boiled egg, lightly salted. The flavor's right but the texture's wrong."

"Okay. High tea, right? Pancakes," she took a taste.

"Pancakes? That's not normally served."

"Well, I'm pregnant. I get cravings. And I've been wanting pancakes for over a month. You're right, the texture is no good. And the temperature doesn't change. But if they work those two kinks out, these could be a pregnant gal's best friend."

"Maple syrup? Butter, perhaps?" he offered her the remainder of the other tube.

"I already have," she smiled a little, "But just the syrup. No butter, it's a waste."

"Yes. None for me, either. Dairy is not the best thing for me, even, I suppose, in my own imagination."

"No? I've made you sandwiches with cheese. At least, I think I remember having done that. Did I make you anything you didn't want, Malcolm?"

"Oh, I probably asked for that," he said, "But I always pay for it later. It's lactose intolerance – a bit of nasty cramping. Probably nowhere near as awful as labor. I wonder if I'm expected to deliver your child."

_Kick Kick.__  
_  
"I learned they have, gawd, they have a vet to do that. I would need a Cesarean anyway."

"Oh. I wonder if they can hear us in here, or if they're watching."

"I'm trying not to think about that," she said.

=/\=

"Crewman, I want you to find out everything you can, anything you can," Jonathan said, "About the Witannen, the Imvari, this ship, you know the drill."

"Yes, sir."

"We all need to do that, so tell the other women when you next see them."

"Very good, sir. Sir?" Deb asked.

"Yes, Crewman?"

"I was wondering. Since, uh, since we've had relations. And, uh, well, for the duration, I was wondering. Could you, uh, not call me Crewman? Only for the duration," she added quickly.

"Hmm. Debbie, right?"

"Deborah. Or Deb, sir. Debbie makes me feel like a three-year-old."

"All right, uh, Deborah," Jonathan said tentatively.

"Thank you, sir."

"You might want to stop calling me _sir_. "

"Yes, uh, _Jonathan_," she felt a frisson of excitement in saying his name aloud for the first time, to him, without him objecting or being annoyed.

=/\=

"Jennifer, I can't stop apologizing to you," Travis said, "Here, eat something."

"I don't know what I'm gonna tell Frank."

"I, uh, I know. Look, uh, why don't you tell me something good about Frank? Like, uh, like how you two met. Would that be something good?"

"Uh, okay. It was on a blind date."

"A blind date? You, of all people, needed a blind date?" Travis was incredulous.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, it's just, you're the Redheaded Bombshell. Can't you just get dates to materialize out of thin air?"

"What did you just call me?"

"The Bombshell. Didn't you know the guys all call you that?"

"No," she said, "Do they write my name on a wall or something?"

"Uh, no, it's not like that. It's not that anyone thinks you're easy. It's that we all know you're the hottest woman on the ship. By _a lot_."

"Me?"

"Yeah, you. How can you not know this?" he asked.

"Nobody ever told me," she said, "Weird."

"Well, it's true. You are totally hot."

She swallowed, "I don't want to be hot. I just want to be out of here, and with Frank, and forget this all happened."

"I know. Tell me about your blind date. C'mon. I won't tell anyone else if you say not to."

"I went to Worcester for Engineering, but that was years ago. And, uh, Frank was in Arizona, doing geology study. But I went back to Worcester to see friends and one of my girlfriends had this guy who was hanging around and she thought he wasn't really her type. So she asked if I wanted to be fixed up. And I figured what the hell. So I said okay. He arrived on this transport and we went to the Boynton."

"What's the Boynton?"

"It's a restaurant. We shared a Caesar salad and steak tips. He had a ticket to go back to Arizona on a transport later that day."

"So he went back to Arizona and then what?" Travis prompted.

"Not exactly. He didn't leave for four days. And when he finally did leave, I called my mother after I saw the transport disappear and I told her I'd met somebody special. That was about two years ago."

"Sweet."

"And now I've cheated on him. He's gonna leave me."

=/\=

"Yim!"

"Yes, Joss?" They were in the cafeteria again. Dinner had wound down and almost no one was left in the room. Brian was wiping off tables nearby.

"_Duck Duck_!"

"In front of all these people?" Yimar sighed, "Okay. But you don't like the way I sing it," she began:

_ "The duck was quackin'  
the duck was laughin'..."_ _  
_  
"No!" Joss said sharply, "'Ommy do _Duck Duck_!"

"Mommy's not here. Best I can do, Joss," she said.

Chip came over, "Wanna see a magic trick?" He did the old disappearing thumb trick. Joss was mesmerized and squealed with delight.

"Oh, whew, thank you. We almost had a meltdown there," she said.

"I got a million of 'em," he said, "Just ask. Oh, hi, Del."

Brian came over, "Everything okay?"

"The usual. I'm not _M-O-M-M-Y_, so nothing is right."

"You're doing your best. He'll realize that someday," Brian assured her.

=/\=

"I know this is none of my business," Doug began.

"Then it probably isn't," Melissa said.

"Well," he smiled, face tight, "You said before, about, um, you know."

"Yeah. That was my first time with a guy."

"Yeah, that. Uh, what's the _'not exactly_' part of that?"

"I'm not exactly an innocent maid," Melissa said, "I just hadn't, to use a quaint expression, I hadn't gone all the way with a guy. Just with women. Until yesterday."

"Ohhh," he paused, "_Really_?"

"Yeah. Why does that surprise you? Haven't you ever seen a bi person before?"

"I guess I did and didn't know I, uh, did," he admitted, "I hope I didn't ruin it for you."

She smiled a little, "Well, it wasn't exactly fireworks but it wasn't horrible."

"Um, thanks, I think. I never did it with someone who had absolutely no experience before," he said.

"Not even your first time?"

"God, no. She was, uh, she was a bar girl in Cambodia."

"Huh. A professional?"

"Not exactly," he said, "At least, she wasn't as far as I was concerned. I used to buy her gifts, not give her money. I was young and stupid and I thought I had to give her a lot of stuff and tell her I loved her in order to get her to sleep with me."

"Oh. Man," Melissa said, "I take it that it worked."

"Yeah, it worked," he said, "I definitely had to give the gifts – the rest of it, though, not so much. Darareaksmey didn't give a damn about me lying to her, telling her I loved her."

"That name's a mouthful," Melissa said.

"Yeah. It's Khmer for _'bright star'_," he said, "It was, uh, over thirty-five years ago."

"That's a good ten years before I was born, Doug."

"Thanks," he said, "Way to make a guy feel old."

=/\=

"I imagine the next time your husband sees me alone, he'll break my nose," Malcolm said. They had finished eating and were sitting on the mattress.

"No."

"No? Lili, he's furious with me."

"Oh, he may start off that way," she said, "But that won't be all of it."

"What are you trying to tell me?"

_Kick Kick.  
_  
"Malcolm, despite whatever Doug has promised to me, I suspect that the next time he can get you alone, he's going to try to kill you."

=/\=

"So, do you wanna eat, or fool around some more?" Tripp asked.

"I wanna dance," Hoshi said.

"Dance? This ain't exactly the Palace."

"I know. I just, uh, something that feels almost like a date."

"There's no music."

"So you'll sing," she said.

"Me? I sound awful. I do hope you're not expecting anything to actually be in any sort of a recognizable key."

"That's okay," she got up and held out her hand.

"All right, here goes nothin'," he put an arm around her waist and she put one on his neck, "This is, uh, a song my grandpappy used to sing to my grandma. That okay for you?"

"Sure," she said, kissing his cheek, "And thanks for indulging me a little."

"I'll try not to step on your toes. Ahem," he began, and twirled her slowly in an approximation of a waltz:

_ "Longing for you all the while, More and more;  
Longing for the sunny smile, I adore;  
Birds are singing far and near, Roses blooming ev'rywhere  
You, alone, my heart can cheer; You, just you."_ _  
_  
"Okay, now, big finish!" he said.

"_Let me call you Sweetheart, I'm ...,_"_ he_ stopped singing and moving.

"Why'd you stop?" she asked.

"I don't think I should be singing the next line."

"Why not, Tripp?"

"Because, Hoshi, the next line is," he swallowed and looked her in the eye, "The next line is _'I'm in love with you'_."

"Oh," she looked at him, "Guess you'd better not. This was a bad idea."

=/\=

"Kill me?" Malcolm asked.

"Yes. Malcolm, he's, no one is allowed to know this, okay? You swear to secrecy, and I mean _swear_," Lili said.

"I swear."

"You know he comes from another side. It's a mirror universe, another place. Well, it's a distorted mirror. It's a crazy funhouse. And it's all spiked with testosterone and nastiness and machismo and about three-quarters male."

"Go on."

"And that's all, uh, let me back up. When it was all first starting a few years ago, when Doug and I first made contact, there was initially a meeting with Phlox. And Phlox said that there's a three to one chance that Doug will father a boy at any time. Doug is a walking male hormone cocktail, he's jumping with it. It's like he was born on steroids, it even all ended up in me during both pregnancies – I'm doused with testosterone at a time when that shouldn't even be possible. And he's typical for there. They are all like that, and they are three-quarters male, like I said."

"Yes?"

"And so things evolved differently there – or at least their culture did. Agriculture isn't as important as hunting. Women aren't as important as men, so they're mostly treated like dirt. And justice isn't as important as revenge and getting ahead."

"What are you attempting to tell me?"

"I know that when he was brought over, T'Pol thought he might be an escaped prisoner, or that he was eluding justice. That's not quite the case. He wasn't eluding justice because there really is no justice there. No punishments, but also no mercy. He got away with a lot of things. And when he came here, he vowed to me that he wasn't going to do those things anymore."

"And those were violent things, am I right? He was a soldier. As I have been. We do things that gentle women such as yourself would find reprehensible. But we are ordered to do such things, and we do them."

"This wasn't in the heat of battle, Malcolm. It was ambition."

_Kick.  
_  
"What?"

"You heard me. It was to get ahead. You kill your superior officer, you move up a rank. He was your level when he was over in the other universe – fourth in command. So he whacked fourteen men to get there."

"Was my counterpart there one of those fourteen men?"

"No. That much I do know. But you know Chris Harris?"

"He's a pilot, right? With Travis and Melissa here, he must be pulling double shifts," Malcolm said.

"Yes, him. On the other side, there is no Chris Harris. Not anymore. Doug knows the specifics. I don't ask unless he volunteers information. And he hasn't volunteered information about these kinds of things for, well, since before Joss was born."

"So he comes here, and he converts himself into a family man," Malcolm said, "You said earlier that he vowed not to do violence anymore."

"Yes. But my understanding is that he gets overly violent while hunting. It's like a blood lust that isn't otherwise satisfied. And he hasn't been really tested here. Not until now. I'm just afraid that he won't be able to control himself. He doesn't always control himself. He can't put a lasso around his own strength, even with me."

"Do you think he will harm you? Or your child, or Joss?"

"He won't hurt Joss. And he knows this baby," she patted her belly, and got a kick for her troubles, "is his."

"And after you have the baby?"

"I don't know. I don't think he'd, intellectually, want to. He's told me he doesn't hit women. But I don't imagine he's been quite so angry at one before."

"We'll tell him I've been forcing you," Malcolm said.

"I don't think he's gonna believe that."

_Kick Kick Kick Kick.  
_

=/\=

"Sorry," Melissa said.

"That's all right. What was your first one like? Now that we're telling," Doug said.

"You sure you wanna hear this?"

"Sure. When did you realize you were bi?"

"I was probably not much older than your son is. I mean, you just are one way or the other," she said, "I went to Europa on vacation and I saw this girl and she and I hit it off. I was, uh, nineteen, hanging around with other flight school buddies. She was there with her parents and there were bonfires on the beach at night and fireworks and tents. And, uh, we made use of one of the tents."

"Ah. That wasn't, like, last year or anything?"

"I've twenty-five, Doug. That was quite a few relationships ago. 'Course I'll have to explain you to Norri."

"Who's Norri?"

"My girl. We live together on Ceres."

"Oh. I guess I've been so caught up in my own issues I forgot to ask you if you had any," he said, "Is this gonna really screw things up for you?"

"Maybe it will a little. Norri knows I see guys sometimes. But it's been really chaste. They try anything beyond about second base and I just bounce outta there."

"This wasn't just second base."

"I know. I gotta figure out how I'm gonna explain it," she said.

"Me, too."

=/\=

There was a hissing sound in all of the chambers, and the fuchsia-colored gas returned.

And so did desire.

_She had the most glorious pecan-brown eyes he'd ever seen.  
She was creative.  
She could take whatever he could dish out.  
She was unbelievably hot.  
She had gorgeous, glossy black hair._

He wasn't her fiancé.  
It didn't matter.

He wasn't the most perfect performer.  
It didn't matter.

He scared her a little with how fast it was all moving.  
It didn't matter.

He was a little tentative.  
It didn't matter.

He wasn't a woman.  
It didn't matter. _  
_

=/\=

Sleep overtook all, afterwards. But this time it wasn't wholly dreamless.

=/\=

Lili dreamt.

_She was walking through halls, opening doors and closing them, and calling in to each of them, "Are you there? Is anyone there?"_

Over and over again. She walked through plain corridors and decorated ones. Through the holding center and through the Enterprise and through buildings she'd known on Lafa II and Titan and Earth. Walk, open door, peer inside, see no one, call out, close door and then move on. _  
_  
Again and again until a lightly tapping and caressing hand on the side of her belly woke her, and a British-accented voice whispered, barely at the edge of audibility, "_Lili-Flower_."

11

Lili's eyes sprang open, and she stared into space.

She didn't move, didn't twitch. She had no idea what to do.

The caressing continued. It was very light, not ticklish, and not hard. It was just the side of her belly. There were no movements, no advances, either to her front or her back. It seemed clear that Malcolm wasn't trying to wake her up. She was not leaning against his body.

Her throat was dry, and she finally, involuntarily, coughed a little bit.

"Oh, you're up," he said. His hand immediately moved away.

He could have, she figured, plausible deniability. If she asked, he could claim he wasn't doing anything. She kept quiet about it, and instead said, "I, uh, I've got a toddler at home. I'm up early all the time."

"I suppose you would be."

She sat up and the thin blanket dropped down, exposing her a little. She didn't make a move to recover herself.

"Uh, you'd best ...," he said.

"Considering what's happened the last few nights, well, you've already seen me in my thousand-kilo pregnant glory."

"Still," he moved to sit up but grimaced.

"Are you all right?"

"Yes, just a bit of a backache."

"I shouldn't have, uh," she said, "I'm not exactly light these days."

"I don't know."

"Here. Um, lie on your stomach."

_Kick.  
_  
"What?"

"I caused this. Let me at least try to cure it."

"Lili, really."

"No. If today is at all like yesterday, we'll be walking around for hours. You might as well be comfortable, or as comfortable as you can be."

"Uh, all right," he did as requested.

She pulled the blanket down to expose his back, and then started pressing her thumbs in.

"No, a little higher. Yes, that's right," he said.

"This good?"

"Not so hard. Oh, yes, much better. Thank you."

"Good," she said, "That's, um, hate to say it, but that's the same motion and the same force I used to use to burp Joss."

"Oh."

Excitement gone, he felt safe in turning over and sitting up.

=/\=

"Your beard's coming in grey," Melissa said.

"I don't suppose they have much of a concept of shaving here," Doug replied, "I'm almost fifty-seven. I'd be surprised if it _wasn't_ grey."

"Ah."

"I'm old enough to be your father. And, uh, don't tell me how old he is."

"Why not? He's sixty-two," she said.

"He was an old father."

"So are you," she said, "But I'm the fourth of six."

"Huh. I want a bigger family but I get the feeling this will be it," he said, and then swallowed. Maybe not, and not the way he'd hoped for or expected.

"Well, it was all right being in a big family, I guess," Melissa said, not noticing his reaction, "All girls. I bet my father wanted to run screaming from us more than once."

"Six daughters?"

"Yep. And we're all 'M' names. Monica, Marilyn, Meghan, then, uh, I come in. Then Misty ..."

"Sounds like a stripper's name," he said, "Er, sorry."

"She's studying to be an ornithologist."

"Oh. Uh, wherever you are Misty, I'm sorry. You missed one."

"Oh. The baby – Miri."

=/\=

"Pancakes again?" Malcolm asked, taking a tube from Lili.

"Hmm, nope. Lox and eggs and onions. You?" She adjusted the sleeve of her dress, exposing a tattooed arm for a second.

"Sesame bagel. With, uh, blueberry jam. No cream cheese for me."

"Right. Uh, let's talk about Jenny's wedding. Are you bringing anyone?"

"Yes, I am, actually," he said.

"Oh?"

"Pamela Hudson. Uh, _Doctor_ Pamela Hudson."

"Very nice. Your parents must be thrilled."

"My parents haven't met her. And they shan't, ever."

"Oh. Uh, why?"

_Kick Kick.  
_  
"Because, well, it's not very polite," Malcolm said.

"Huh?"

"Pamela and I are, there's an old expression. Our relationship is what's referred to oh so charmingly as _'Friends with Benefits'_."

"Ohhh. _Those_ kinds of benefits. Don't you, um, want to fall in love?" Lili wasn't even sure why she'd said that. It had just slipped out.

"Yes, of course I do," he said, looking away a little, then stuffed another ten cc's of paste into his mouth, and swallowed it, "I even told her I loved her. But it wasn't true; it was wishful thinking on my part."

"I'm sorry."

"Well, it's just; I tend to fall for women who are either thoroughly inappropriate for me or wholly unattainable," he capped the tube and rewrapped his shirt, then offered her the tube, "Do you want the rest of this?"

=/\=

"I cannot believe you did that again," Jennifer accused.

"Hey, I'm not just doing it by myself," Travis replied.

"I _hate_ this."

"Thanks. _A lot_."

"No, I don't hate you, Travis. I just hate what's happening."

=/\=

_Kick kick kick kick Kick Kick Kick.__  
_  
"Ow! Pete! God, lay off every once in a while," Lili complained.

"Oh, is that what you're going to name your baby?"

"Yes. Peter Matthew, for my parents. Every name has a meaning."

"So you know you're having a boy, then?"

"Chances are too good not to. Doug" and she paused a little when she said his name, "and I won't have daughters. Pete will most likely be our last," she didn't want to think of how the Witannen were, potentially, going to make a liar out of her.

_Kick Kick Kick.  
_  
"A pity."

"Pity?"

"Yes. No one to inherit your gentle grace," he said, "What would you name a girl, if you were to have one?"

"Marie Patrice," she answered quickly. She'd never said that name out loud; it sounded like a magical talisman and hung in the air for a split second.

"Lovely."

She was about to say something when she was smacked with another long volley of kicking.

=/\=

"Deb, um..."

"Yes?"

"I get the feeling I could be better at this."

"It's all right."

"Uh, well, thanks, but I think you're being overly kind. You're probably used to much younger men."

"It's okay. I'm totally covered. Really."

"You have pretty eyes," he said, "Light brown," he smiled a little, "Pecan pie."

The tubes were thrown in. Deb got up and retrieved them.

"Pecan pie?" she asked, handing him one.

"Maybe not for breakfast."

=/\=

"I meant to tell you, you talk in your sleep a bit."

"Yes. I've talked in my sleep ever since I was able to talk," Lili said.

"Well, you seemed a bit distressed. You kept asking, _'Is anyone there?'_ I wasn't sure if I should wake you," Malcolm said, "I do hope you don't mind. I didn't mean to eavesdrop."

"It's okay. You're a, heh, a captive audience. I was going through all these rooms and checking doors. I couldn't find anyone. I think I was trying to tell them about here, about how to find us."

"That's what we'll be trying to do, I'll wager, although it would not be in the exact same way. But we will be looking for ways to get a message to the _Enterprise_, if I know the Captain."

=/\=

"Hoshi, did you find where you flung 'em?"

"Sure, right there, under the mattress," she said, scooping up the two tubes.

"Ah, thanks," he retrieved his shorts and put them on.

They barely got a chance to eat before the door opened. The drill was as before. The guards separated them, and the women left first.

=/\=

Quietly, before they were forced into line, Deb said, "Captain wants us to gather intel. Anything is helpful."

Dayah found Lili again, "Walk in front of me this time," Dayah said, "I'll give you an examination."

"Really?"

"Well, this isn't exactly a state of the art Xindi Medical Facility, but it's the best I can do."

"Quiet!" yelled a guard, and they started shuffling around again.

Dayah put her hands on Lili's abdomen, and then pressed in a little. This elicited some kicking.

"Ah, you have good quickening," she said.

"What's quickening?"

"It's signs of life within," Dayah said, "Not much else I can check, but your baby is obviously strong, unless you're going to have twins. Are you?"

"No. That much I know for certain."

"And you have months to go yet. Quellata must be pleased, or she will be. A very fit baby is the ideal."

"Do, uh, does everyone turn the baby over to her?"

_Kick Kick.___

"We all must. And they can make you sleep, as you know, and take the baby then. That's usually how it's done."

"I see. I just, I want to keep him," Lili said, patting her own belly.

"We all do."

=/\=

Deb was walking behind a Klingon woman, "Do you know anything about our course and speed?"

"Not much. Do you have a pilot? Last known position would be of help," answered the Klingon.

"Over there. She's the short woman, with brown hair," Deb pointed.

"Tomorrow, I will speak with her. As for speed, we estimate at least Warp Eight."

=/\=

Jennifer and an Andorian woman were talking. Jennifer said, "What do you know about escaping?"

"Keep your voice down."

"Sorry."

"We don't try, not much, not anymore. The guards are strong and the sticks are always charged, or at least they always seem to be."

=/\=

On the men's side, Jonathan asked a Vulcan, "Does anyone have a map of the interior?"

"Nothing other than what we have been able to piece together. Cells line both sides of each corridor. Then these exercise areas, as you know, are on the ends. Between are the cleansing stations."

"What about where we were first brought in?" asked Jonathan.

"I'm not sure where that is. You forget it has been a few years since my people and I were captured. And they may have changed it."

=/\=

"What's going on, in the other units?" Travis asked Emmiz.

"I don't know. No one ever transfers in. They only transfer out, and only if production falls off."

"Production. It makes this sound like a factory," Travis said.

"Quiet!"

=/\=

Malcolm asked an Andorian, "Do they listen in on our conversations or, uh, observe us at, at night?"

"No."

"Are you certain? I mean, it strikes me that it's possible that the Witannen are filming pornography of some sort."

"No," The Andorian said.

"How can you know that?"

"Denebian slime devils, or whatever they are calling you, insulting you, what is it?"

"Slime molds," Malcolm spat out the phrase.

"Yes, well, do you become aroused watching such low creatures mate?"

"Of course not."

"Same with them. They think you're too primitive to be titillating," said the Andorian.

=/\=

Melissa was behind Leveqa, the tall Andorian, "What do you know about the ventilation system?"

"Nothing helpful. Gas comes in," she shrugged, "It's all you need to know."

"Can the panels come off?"

"Who knows? Look, I almost blew it for everyone a year ago. Don't blow it for us."

=/\=

"Dayah?"

"Yes?"

"How can you, you told me, sometimes they, uh, they want to, uh, do it without the gas. How do you know that?"

"Well, it should be obvious. But I sense you are unsure."

"A bit."

"And you are unsure of yourself, am I right?"

"I don't know what to think," Lili admitted.

"It's a good thing. Jannar and I – see him, just in front of your husband? – He and I never got along. The only good thing out of that was that I had twins, so we received extra rations."

"It's one thing to be friends. But more? I kind of, hmmm, I know that, well, that there was interest. But it was a few years ago. I had thought it was done – he even had, at least, one girlfriend since then. I mean, look at me. I'm not exactly glamorous these days. And I am not young anymore."

"So? I am old enough to be a grandmother to Emmiz. You are concerned. It is, perhaps, exposing cracks that you didn't think were in your marriage, eh?"

"I also wonder how my husband is getting on with, with Melissa. She's the short girl. There."

"She is young. Not to be insulting, that is merely an observation. You do not know what to think."

"No, I don't," Lili said.

"Might I suggest something?"

"You're the expert."

"Hardly," Dayah said, "Just, consider how today is going to be, and tomorrow, here. And think of the future later, when it has come and it matters. Be happy today. Tomorrow you could be in another unit, and things would not be so nice."

"_Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,_ _" _Lili said.

"Hmm?"

"Oh, nothing."

"Quiet over there!"

12

They had showered and were being dried off. Lili approached Melissa, "I want you to know, I'm not angry with you."

"Oh. I guess you've got a right to be," Melissa said.

"Well, I was before. But I'm not anymore. It doesn't seem heh, productive," Lili found her clothes and put them on, "Melissa, can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"You are, he hasn't hurt you, has he?" Lili asked quietly.

"No. Lili, was he hitting you?"

"No. Oh, no. It's during relations. Has he injured you?"

"I don't get it."

"I don't want to be drawing a map but, he's, uh, there's a lot there. And he's not always good with control or, or being careful."

"Ohhh," Melissa paused to put on her dress, "I'm fine, at least so far, although the first time did hurt quite a bit. But no injuries."

"Hmm. Maybe he's holding back somehow. I don't want you to get hurt, is all."

=/\=

Back in the cell, Lili listened for the men. This time, Doug didn't swear at Malcolm. Progress, perhaps.

Malcolm was pushed back in. She handed him a tube, "Dinner is served."

"Uh, thank you."

They sat down on the mattress – the only place to sit.

Lili spoke, "I wanted to talk to you some more about your department's gift."

"You already thanked me for that. No reason to do so again," he said, between downing bits of paste.

"I know. It's not about that, not specifically. I'm quite sure I've figured out the real meaning behind it."

"Meaning? There is no meaning. It's a wedding gift to you and Doug, nothing more."

"No," she said, "That's just the cover story."

=/\=

Chip and Yimar were running out of tricks to show Joss. Chip had made paper airplanes, done the folded napkin mouse trick and had produced Denobulan coins from behind both of Joss's ears. Every time a new trick was begun, it would hold Joss's attention for a little while, but then his mind would wander and he'd alternately suck his thumb and call out for his mother. The intervals between the calls were getting shorter and shorter, and Yimar was beginning to really get panicky.

It was the cafeteria, and she couldn't just keep feeding him. Finally, Chip said, "Look, I'm pretty much tapped. I'm sorry. I'm just not a kids' performer. And I don't think you want me to be telling him any dirty jokes. I hate to leave you in the lurch like this, but I need to get some sleep. With no Hoshi," he paused for a second, as he did miss his boss, "I'm doing double duty even before I hit the Borscht Belt here."

"What's a Borscht Belt?" asked Yimar.

"Uh, never mind. It's too much to explain. All I'm saying is I gotta be fresh to do my work. Entertaining him is taking too much outta me. I gotta go," he departed.

She sat there with Joss, who was sucking his thumb and staring out the window, "'Ommy home?"

She sighed, "Not yet."

He went back to crying.

=/\=

"Cover story? What the devil are you on about?" asked Malcolm.

"Yes. It's hidden in plain sight, really," she said, "The box – it's from a big British store."

"Well, I'm the Department Head. So?"

"Yes. That part's understood. But, you see, the rest of it. Now, I'm sure that Karin picked out what she gave us. And Lucas and Ethan and the others did as well. All of that works totally on face value and that's it."

"Well?" he turned away slightly.

"It's the rest of it," she said.

=/\=

Brian came out, wiping his hands on a dish towel, "Dishes are all done. Hey, buddy, what's the matter?" he bent over to talk to Joss.

"The usual," Yimar said, "I'm getting to the end of my rope."

"Hmm. Wanna go see a puppy?" he asked, his voice brightening.

"What's a puppy?" she asked.

"It's a baby dog. The dog isn't a baby but, well, close enough. The Captain has a little dog, and he's staying in Sick Bay until things are resolved," Brian explained.

"Oh. Is this animal tame?"

"Very. Just make sure Joss doesn't pull his tail."

"Hmm. Okay. Joss, wanna see a pretty puppy?" she asked, widening her eyes and smiling and trying to make it the most interesting thing to do, ever.

"Puppy?" Joss asked, stopping the crying for a second.

"Yes. Bring the stegosaurus," Brian said.

"What's that?" Yimar asked.

"Oh, his toy, the dinosaur. It's a stegosaurus."

"Huh," Yimar said, "See, this is educational," she said to Joss, "Let's go see the pretty puppy."

=/\=

"Somebody," Lili said cautiously, "uh, somebody was really careful. They picked out the things that weren't wrapped, and those things were all either British or from the old British Empire, like the nuts."

"The sun used to rise and set on it," Malcolm said, "That's hardly meaningful," he said, protesting a bit too strongly and turning away some more.

"No argument here. The canisters – the tea isn't labeled, but I know for a fact that it's English breakfast. And this, this person knew that I would know, and that I wouldn't have to be told."

"Everyone knows you're a professional chef."

"Again, that much is understood. But then there are the napkins. They aren't just an okay blue, or a great blue. No. They are the absolutely most perfect shade. It's a dark royal, almost indigo. That person knew that that would be the right shade, and it probably took a really long time to find them. And the canisters – stainless steel with a little turquoise inlay on the clamps – that person knew that, even without ever seeing a picture of my kitchen, that person, he knew that the kitchen would be blue and green."

"You, uh, wore those colors a lot," he pointed out, but his argument was failing.

"I definitely telegraphed the colors. But there's the card, too. Somebody knew I would love a handwritten card, something to hold and look at, again and again. And while everyone signed it, one person – _that_ person – wrote out the original greeting. I don't know people's handwriting for sure, but I can make an educated guess about whose writing it is," she paused.

She took a deep breath, "It's not a set of candlesticks that someone bought quickly because they didn't know us. It's not a gift card purchased at the last minute. It's not a tablecloth I'll only use once or twice a year. It's not a book I'll read maybe a few times and then put away on a shelf to gather dust somewhere. It's food and it's a card and it's napkins and canisters and by themselves those really aren't a lot of things. But put it all together and, well, this, uh, the cover story is that this gift was to remind Doug and me of home. And it does. It succeeds there, admirably. But the real hidden meaning is, because the kitchen is **my **room,** my **place,** my** domain, the gift is really to remind** me**, _every day_, **every single day**, of the person who gave it."

=/\=

"Can I ask you something, Doug?"

"Sure, I guess."

"Are you holding back?"

"Well, I'm trying to," he admitted, "I think the reasons should be kinda obvious."

"Is it possible that you could hurt me?"

"Melissa, you'll tell me if I'm hurting you, right?"

"Sure. It, uh, it did hurt the first time, but I kinda figured it would."

"Any blood?"

"What? Oh, no. No blood," she smiled, "And last night was not too bad at all."

"That's hardly a ringing endorsement."

"Well, I don't have comparisons," she said, "But, I did, uh, do you wanna hear this?"

"I guess so – not too much else to talk about, is there?"

"I had a, um, it was, uh, good," she said.

"Really? Huh. Why are you asking me about holding back?"

"I'm not making any suggestions or anything. Don't misunderstand me," she said, "But we're stuck here and this is, well, it's kinda the only really pleasant thing going on."

"Yeah," he admitted.

"So maybe don't hold back. Uh, if you think that's a good idea."

"I don't want to hurt you," he said, "And I can. I have done it before. Not my finest hour," he looked away a little.

"I'm built like a tank," she said, "I can take it."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I'm not, uh, not telling you to do it now or anything, Doug."

"I know."

"I'm just sayin'. Don't, um, don't worry so much."

=/\=

Malcolm really turned away this time, and squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingertips and braced himself for impact. Whatever she had to say next was not going to be good, he could tell.

"And, uh," she said, "that person is, is _you_."

He just sat there quietly, and then finally spoke, "I, you were, you were never supposed to know. And you wouldn't have, but the damned Witannen have brought it all up to the surface."

She stared at his back as he gathered up the courage to continue.

He said, "It was, it was a few years ago. You were, it was when you were first making contact with, with Doug. And something in you turned. You became, well, noticeable. This is not to say that you were, well ..."

"I was a drudge until then," she said, "All I did was work, eat and sleep. I spoke to almost nobody. I wasn't close to anyone," she stated.

"And then, suddenly, you were kind of, well, _switched on_. I suppose that's the best way to describe it. And I felt something. But I could see where you wanted to be, and who you wanted to be with. And, and when your, when everything finally fell into place, I stepped aside. Even though Doug said I was sweet on you, I said I wasn't. But that was not true. And you, you hugged me when you were in Sick Bay, do you remember? It is, I suppose, nothing to you. But for me it was a lot. It _meant _something."

"I wouldn't have, would not have, if it didn't have meaning."

"Still, I doubt somewhat that it meant to you just what it did to, to me," he swallowed hard, "For a moment, I could believe it wasn't me you were kissing off – that it was, that it was _him_."

He took another deep breath, "And then you left the _Enterprise_, and you began your life away. And there were letters. I knew they weren't just being sent to me, but I could, I could believe they were, if I felt it hard enough. And there were photographs! If I squinted just right, I could, I could believe that it was you and me in front of your new business venture, you and I standing on a beach, and you and I holding our, our son," he stopped.

"Oh."

"I don't, I don't want you to go through a divorce. I don't want your home broken up. I don't wish your, your husband dead. It's not that. Not at all. I told you – unattainable women. And you are, you became unattainable almost immediately and now, suddenly, you're attainable. But it's all due to this damnable gas they give us to breathe. It is what I want, it is my, my _love_, yes, that's the right word – it is my love. It is what I dreamt of, and not just chastely, but for you, it's forcing and it's not you really wanting to do it. As you close your eyes, I imagine you think of, of him. And that hurts so much, so much more. I have waited for, for this. But it's not what I truly desired. The Witannen have perverted it. For so long I've wanted to be close to you. Now all I want to do is crawl away and die."

=/\=

"See? Pretty puppy!" Yimar said, "Pet nicely, Joss."

"There are lots of animals to see here," Brian said, "Doctor Phlox, can we bring him here tomorrow, maybe look at a different animal? If it's not, uh, too much trouble. He's really lonely without Lili."

"That's understandable," Phlox said, "Hmm, the Derellian bat will be coming out of its two week hibernation cycle. He can feed it a few pellets, assuming there's no medical emergency tomorrow."

"Thank you. You're a lifesaver," Yimar gushed.

"I have been told that before," Phlox smiled, "But it's still nice to hear."

=/\=

They were silent for a while. Lili turned and put her hand on Malcolm's back. Edge of a cliff, she thought to herself. But it was not necessarily such a scary cliff. She moved in closer and pushed her arms through and around his waist. She leaned her mouth on his shoulder and held it there a while.

Finally, she said, very quietly, "Please. Can you turn around? A little? Please? Because, uh, I'm getting tired of, of kissing your shoulder, Malcolm. I'd really rather kiss your mouth."

He turned to face her, "Are you certain?"

She nodded vigorously, "Lili-Flower, right?"

"Yes. You weren't supposed to hear that, either. I've made quite a hash of things."

"Heavenly hash is a great ice cream flavor."

"No ice cream for me, thanks," he said, "Maybe something sweeter."

They kissed until the gas started, then rapidly moved onto other things.

33


	5. Chapters 1315

13

It wasn't a perfect moment.

A perfect moment would have had, for one thing, a more comfortable bed. But it was a _good_ moment – one of Malcolm's better ones. He lay back, after they'd broken apart, and held her and kissed her shoulder and thought that, well, this wasn't so bad after all. Life could be far, far worse. He spoke, "I, may I ask? The baby's been awfully quiet. I don't wish to hurt him. Is everything all right?"

"Yes, definitely. And, I don't think you can hurt him," she said, stretching a little. She smiled at him, "I can feel him moving. He's just not kicking so much. He seems to have calmed down a little. Here, give me your hand," he complied, "Put it right here," he placed it on her navel, "Now, press in very, very slightly. Too hard, and you'll induce kicking. Just ... feel."

He did as requested, and then felt it, moving, a bit of a small wave, a little rolling underneath her skin, "How extraordin'ry," he smiled fully, feeling warm and a little reddened in the face, "How completely incredible that is. A lot nicer than the kicking, I imagine. You get assaulted an awful lot, Lili."

"Well, he's calmer now. And I think you have a little to do with that," she put her hand on his, feeling how warm he was against her belly.

"Me?"

"Yes. I think he likes you."

"Well, I like _him_."

She turned her face back to him and kissed him.

"Your bracelet - is it a very special gift? You never seem to take it off."

"That's mainly because I don't want to lose it. It was given to me by Yimar's mother. She's, uh, the mother, she's not in very good physical shape, and doesn't speak much. But she took this off her own wrist and gave it to me about a year ago. We had gone there to tell her I was pregnant with Joss."

"What's the metal? Is it tin?"

"Some sort of alloy the Calafans make. It has amplifying properties but I've never used it for that."

"Huh. How very interesting. Are you comfortable?"

"Very," she said, yawning a little, "But I'm also really tired. Would you mind very much if I went to sleep now?"

"Of course not. I shan't wake you."

"Not even by tapping on the side of my belly?"

"Oh, you felt that?"

"Both mornings," she said.

"Well, then I suppose I have no surprises to offer you."

"I'm sure you have plenty," she said, looking at him meaningfully. She kissed him, but yawned again.

"I hope that my surprises are to your liking. But right now I think you both need to rest. G' night."

=/\=

Lili was dreaming.

_She first saw the holding area and then, suddenly, she was on the Enterprise again._

The corridors were mostly empty. It was, after all, the middle of the night.

She saw T'Pol in the Captain's Ready Room, poring over reports and looking – despite her cool Vulcan demeanor – a bit worried.

She then went onto the Bridge and took a look at the night shift crew. Aidan MacKenzie was at Malcolm's station. She smiled a little, thinking of him.

She moved on.

She went to B deck, to where they had been staying. She saw Yimar and Brian outside the room, in the hallway. They didn't seem to be able to see or hear her. No one else had.

Yimar said, "Thank you for being so nice to us. I bet you like Joss a lot."

"Well, sure," Brian said.

"And I think you like Lili and Doug, too, to be doing this."

"Yeah, but I know her better than I do him."

"Is there, um, anyone else you like?" Yimar asked.

"Uhhh," he looked around a little, "It's, um, late. I gotta get up early tomorrow. And I bet you do, too. G'night."

Brian left quickly. Lili followed him down the hall, and called after him, "Brian! You dope! She threw you a softball. You so shoulda hit that one outta the park."

He didn't hear her.

Lili turned back, and went into the room where Yimar and Joss were staying.

Joss was lying down, but sat up quickly when he saw her, "'Ommy! 'Ommy! 'Ommy! 'Ommy!" he yelled a total of maybe a dozen times, when he saw her. He squealed and laughed and ran over to hug her, nearly knocking her over.

"Whoa. You can see me?" she asked.

"'Ommy! 'Ommy! Duck Duck! Duck Duck_!"_

"Okay. I haven't seen you in days and you want to be entertained, eh? A mother's work is never done," Lili said, "Okay, get into bed."

He complied. She began to sing. Yimar even walked in, but didn't hear her. Only Joss seemed to. Lili even made it through to the end:

__..." O pato vinha cantando alegremente, quém, quém  
Quando um marreco sorridente pediu  
Pra entrar também no samba, no samba, no samba  
O ganso gostou da dupla e fez também quém, quém  
Olhou pro cisne e disse assim "vem, vem"  
Que o quarteto ficará bem, muito bom, muito bem  
Na beira da lagoa foram ensaiar  
Para começar o tico-tico no fubá  
A voz do pato era mesmo um desacato  
Jogo de cena com o ganso era mato  
Mas eu gostei do final quando ca'ram n'água  
E ensaiando o vocal  
quém, quém, quém, quém  
quém, quém, quém, quém  
O pato"  
_  
__She stopped. There was never applause, of course. Joss just hugged her, "'Ommy, 'Ommy," he said sleepily._

"Mommy loves you," she said, "And Daddy loves you, too. And Yimar loves you. And Aunt Jenny loves you. And Uncle Treve loves you. And Uncle Jonathan loves you. And Aunt Hoshi loves you. And Uncle Malcolm ..." Sweat sprang from her palms and she stopped talking. She sniffed the air.

"Hmm," Lili said, "You need a diaper change."

This got Yimar up. She, too, sniffed the air, "Whew!" she said, "Joss, you stinky boy!" Yimar scooped him up and brought him into the bathroom.

"'Ommy," he said sleepily.

"Just me," Yimar said.

Lili woke.

=/\=

"Did you hear that?" Hoshi said, sitting up in bed.

"Hear wha–?" Tripp asked, yawning, "Remind me not to think up those pastes as a six pack again, okay?"

"Uh, sure. Y'know, I heard somebody singing."

"You sure you didn't just dream that?"

"I dunno. I don't think so."

"Maybe Quellata is serenading us now. A little mood music to get us goin'."

"No. This was in Portuguese."

=/\=

"What's _quém_?" Malcolm asked her as she woke up, and then kissed her cheek.

_"Quém_? Huh, and good morning to you, too," Lili said, feeling him lying behind her.

"Yes. It was, uh, you were talking in your sleep again. Actually, it seemed more like you were singing. Very nice – you have a soft voice. And the words were not English – Spanish, perhaps."

"Ohhh. The song is Portuguese. And _quém_ is _quack_ in Portuguese."

"How very odd. I wonder if Portuguese dogs bark differently as well."

"Malcolm, do you remember that I can have very vivid dreams?"

"Of course. That happened the last time we were in the Lafa System. It's how you made contact – I know that."

"Yeah. Well, the dreams aren't just vivid – you can also use all five senses in them."

"So you can taste things?" he asked.

"Smell and taste. And I smelled a dirty diaper last night."

"That's quite a diaper," he joked.

"Well, yeah, they can be. But – Malcolm – it was Joss. I was there. I saw him, and I know he saw _me_. It was a Calafan-style dream. I was, in a way, really there. I was on the _Enterprise_."

=/\=

"Oh, that time was definitely better," Melissa said.

"Yeah. You _sure_ there's no blood?" Doug asked.

"No. Quit asking me that."

"Sorry. It's just – uh, don't say anything, okay? It's just, um, I've injured Lili. Twice. Maybe even a third time but it was milder."

"What, uh, what happened?" she asked, sitting up.

"I come from – do you know about multiple universes?"

"Kinda."

"Well, there are two. Or, maybe, there are more than that. Probably lots more. Probably billions, trillions, infinite ones are out there. And in a buncha them, the big bang doesn't go off, or doesn't go off properly. And in others, that happens, but the Solar System is never formed. In others, you get a Solar System but the dinosaurs never die out. In a subset of those, the dinos die out but the pyramids are never built. And on and on. And one of them is here."

"Well, duh."

"Well, another one is where evolution turned left instead of right, and there was a kind of a_ Y chromosome skew_. And there was a spike of testosterone."

"More male hormones than the average bear? And there are more boys than girls. Uh, okay, I guess," she asked, "Uh, what are you saying?"

"I come from that one."

"_What_?"

"I do. It's, um, it's not public knowledge. It's very classified, very weird, as you can imagine. I, Lili and I, we made contact through a kind of dream state. I know it sounds nutty as I say it, but that's the truth. And I got to come here, and leave all of that behind, and I jumped at the chance, because the other side, other side of the pond, it's a hard place. This place is a picnic compared to it."

"Uh, okay. But what does this have to do with the price of tea in China, Doug?"

"The proportions are different there. So, I'm kinda typical in size and strength for there. But here, not so much. When I got here, nobody knew that. And, when Lili and I first made love, I really hurt her. She almost bled to death. If she had, we wouldn't be having this conversation – I'd be in jail for second degree homicide."

"_Whoa_."

=/\=

"So yer sayin' the Witannen know Portuguese?" Tripp asked.

"No. It sounded like Lili's voice," Hoshi said, "It was a song about a duck, a goose and a swan, dancing the samba. Kind of a silly song, but it was real Portuguese."

"Isn't she French?"

"Doesn't mean she can't know a song in Portuguese. I mean, don't you know _'O Tannenbaum'_? That's in German."

"I'm not much for caroling."

"That doesn't matter, now, does it?"

=/\=

"Well, hmm, no blood, Doug. Really, heh, check if you like," Melissa said.

"That's okay. I'll take your word for it."

"It was kinda powerful, though," she admitted, "Kinda like a Paris tackle."

"A Paris tackle? You saw the Forty-Niner-Packers game?" he asked.

"Well, sure. Doug, I am the son my father never had."

"Huh. I bet you're a Packers fan."

"Nope. 'Niners all the way," she said, "But they gotta do something about those cheerleading costumes. They're just not skimpy enough."

"Yeah, tell me about it."

=/\=

"Joss, what?" Yimar asked, putting him down from the changing table.

"'Ommy, _Duck Duck_!" he exclaimed excitedly.

"Uh, not now."

"No! 'Ommy _Duck Duck_! 'Ommy _Duck Duck_!" he patted the side of his ear.

"Wait. Did you dream of Mommy singing _Duck Duck_?"

"'Ommy _Duck Duck_!" he began running around excitedly, just in a new diaper.

=/\=

"Admiral Gardner," T'Pol said, "we need more help with the searching."

"We have the Kreetassans. And the Tellarites. Andorians, too, but with the Earth-Romulan War heating up again they just can't spare a lot of ships. And neither can we, I'm sorry to say."

"Well, that is of some assistance," she replied.

"We also learned – the Andorians said that there was an incident about a decade ago, where ten of their people were transported off a ship after a burst of EM radiation. Those Andorians were not heard from again. We're investigating."

"Fascinating."

14

"Lili-Flower?" he kissed her ear.

"Hmm?" she chuckled a little.

"Scratch what I was going to say. I'll ask this instead: do you, do you mind very much my calling you that?"

"Of course I don't. I kinda like it, Malcolm."

"Oh, good, I'm glad. I, uh, I'm just sort of a pet names person. Called every, everyone, every woman by one or another, but it was always something more generic, like _Sweetheart_ or _Darling_. I wanted this one to be more unique and personal."

She smiled, "That's sweet. No one's ever called me by any sort of a pet name."

"He, uh, doesn't?"

"No. Totally practical. Just Lili or Mrs. Beckett when introducing me – which confuses the Calafans. They don't have last names, so half the time they think his full name is Beckett, or mine is."

"Huh. You know, I wonder if I'll simply forget your real name one day, and just call you Lili-Flower."

"Well, it's okay. Lili isn't my first name, anyway."

"What?" Malcolm was a little incredulous, "You don't have to sit by and accept people mispronouncing it, if it's something else. Please, do tell me the right one. I want very much to get it right."

"Oh, you get it right," she said, snuggling a little against his chest, "It's – you recall I told you that all names are meaningful?"

"Of course."

"My _real_ name – the one I was given when I was born – is _Charlotte Lilienne O'Day_."

"Charlotte? You're a _Charlotte_? Why don't you use it?"

"I am named after both of my grandmothers. And Charlotte O'Day was kind of a severe woman. I also think my mother wasn't too fond of her mother-in-law. So she called me by my middle name. Her mother was Lilienne Ducasse and Lilienne maybe was too long for a little girl, so I was called Lili."

"The dreaded mother-in-law," Malcolm said, "Does, uh, does he get on with your parents?"

"My parents have been dead for over forty years."

_Kick Kick._

"Oh. You, you must have been very young," he put his hand back on her belly and the kicking calmed down again.

"Yes. Our house burned down when I was nine. My parents were trapped inside. My father died when a beam fell on him. He was found on top of my mother. I guess he was protecting her somehow."

_Kick Kick Kick.__  
_  
"I shouldn't have asked you about that. It's rather intimate. _Too_ intimate."

"No, it's all right," Lili said, "And it's not too intimate. Look at us. We are already intimate."

He paused for a while, then turned and put his hand on her face and turned her face so that he could look her in the eye, "There are things I want to tell you. _Three words_. You know which ones they are. But I cannot. I, it's a pity. I cannot, because I know that you _don't_ –"

She clapped her hand on his mouth, a little harder than she'd intended, "Oops, did I just smack you? I didn't mean to do that with quite so much vigor."

"That's all right. I'm made of sterner stuff."

"I, uh, I did that because, Malcolm, because I want to ask you to be patient with me. After all, it took me about two years to know the score. Let me, let me come to it in my own way, at my own pace."

=/\=

Yimar skipped breakfast and took Joss straight to the Bridge. This, she knew, was important, even if he was hungry. She'd take care of that later. Right now, this other thing, it had to get done.

She was unaccustomed to Bridge protocol so she just barged in. Chip was sitting at Communications and waved at her. Another man, taller, darker – he was sitting at the Tactical station. A red-haired guy was piloting.

"Commander!" Yimar called out, "Can I talk to you?"

"A moment," T'Pol said. Why was the child on the Bridge?

Joss fussed a little, "Want o'meal."

"Yes, we'll have oatmeal later. Commander, I think he saw Lili last night."

"So he was dreaming? This is hardly a reason to come to the Bridge," T'Pol hadn't gotten a lot of sleep for the past several days.

"Not quite. Joss, tell T'Pol. Tell her about _Duck Duck_," she picked up Joss and held him, close to T'Pol.

"'Ommy _Duck Duck_!" he said, again patting his own ear.

"Is there a meaning to this?"

"Yes!" Yimar said, "He had one of our kind of dreams. Where people can move around and make contact and it's not just some random thoughts. I know humans have these kind of random thought dreams, but this one was my kind of a dream. It was a contact dream."

"As I recall, contact passes from one universe to another. Is that exclusive?"

"No. We can contact within the same side of the pond, too," Yimar said, "Lili has some amplifier on her – she wears a ring on a chain and my mother gave her a bracelet last year. I think she's using them, and coming here. She can tell us things about where they are."

"'Ommy _Duck Duck_!"

"She will need to select a better and more reliable recipient for this information," T'Pol said, "I hardly think her son can repeat coordinates."

"I understand," Yimar said, "I can sleep with him in the same bed and keep physical contact, and will probably be able to at least listen in. I don't know coordinates much, either, but at least I can talk coherently," she offered.

"Perhaps. It could be another way to confront the problem. Mr. Masterson, you will coordinate this."

Yimar turned, and Joss was brought very close to T'Pol. He reached out and patted her, "Milk?"

T'Pol raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything.

"Yes, Commander," Chip said, stifling a laugh.

=/\=

"Deb, I still think this is, well, not the best thing for you."

"You don't need to protect my feelings, Jonathan."

"Still, I don't want you to get hurt. I do care about that."

"Thanks," she smiled and traced her finger along his left clavicle, "I just, I want you to know. There are a lot of times when I've been afraid."

"Well, that's normal."

"Sure. I know. But, I mean, I'm in Security! We're not supposed to get that bad. And I used to. And some of that's come back now. The Witannen, they really scare me," she said, and shook a little.

"That's the way they want you to feel. Makes them think that they're alive."

"I know it, but sometimes I wish I could stop trembling."

"Try not to think of them. Try..."

"I'm thinking... I'm thinking of all the times on the _Enterprise_ when I was scared to death ...and I would see you so busy at your command, and I would hear your voice from all parts of the ship... and my fears would fade. And now they're making me tremble. But I'm not afraid. I am not afraid."

He kissed her, "I know this means more to you than, well, than it should. I can't give you what you truly want. But if I can make you comfortable, and if there's any way I can make it less frightening for you, tell me, Deb."

"Keep doing that," she said, "Just keep letting me believe things that I know, really, aren't so."

=/\=

"Travis, just, _don't_."

"I'm sorry. I'm still sorry," he said, shaking his head.

"I can't even respond anymore. This is awful. I never thought I'd become, well, I guess this is what it's like when you're frigid," Jennifer said.

"Whatever I've been the cause of, Gawd, I'm sorry."

"I can respond with, with Frank. I do. I just know I won't be able to, anymore. When we get out – if we ever do – he's gonna leave me. I know he's gonna leave me," she cried and rocked to herself on the mattress, shaking and incoherently mumbling after a while.

=/\=

"I'll do my best," he said, "I've held back for a couple of years. I should be able to hold back a bit longer, eh?"

"Thank you," Lili said, "Ah, look, breakfast."

Malcolm got up and brought the tubes over, "Breakfast in bed? What are we having?"

"You want me to choose?"

"You have a good imagination."

"Hmm. No dairy, right? Okay. How about a Mexican frittata?"

"That's an omelet, right?"

"Yes, but you don't fry it. You put it into a pan which can go in the oven – like a cast-iron skillet – and you put in whisked eggs, vegetables, that sort of thing. This will be Mexican so let's add chorizo. It's a spicy sausage. Bake it for a while until it sets, bring it out. I'll garnish it with, uh, chopped raw cilantro and scallions. And top it with fresh avocado slices. _Bon appetit_!" She shoveled a big gob of it into her mouth.

"Avocado," he laughed a little to himself as he ate some paste.

"What's funny about an avocado?"

"It's, uh," he turned serious again, "It's something not too nice. Something I don't think I can tell you if I mean to retain your respect. Or at least your sympathy."

"Malcolm," she said, putting down her tube and facing him, "I'm married to a killer of fourteen men. Nothing you've ever said or done is going to shock me in the least."

_Kick Kick Kick Kick.  
_  
"It has to do with Pamela."

"She's the doctor, yes?"

"Yes. I can't really tell you right now. But I think I will be able to at some point," he said, "Intimate, right?"

"Yes. _Very_," she said, ignoring her food and kissing him instead.

"I just – I know this is insecurity talking. But I can't get over the feeling that you're not willing, that you are thinking of another. Despite what you've said and despite what we've done. I don't mean to be needy but I feel a bit, well, vulnerable."

"Hmm. Put that down a sec," he complied, "I'm gonna do something right now. And I don't know how good it'll be. I know I'm not too good at this, but I will try."

"I don't understand."

"Shh. Whenever you, whenever you think I'm not willing or I'm thinking of someone else, or not paying attention to you, or not caring about you or concerning myself with, with you, I want you to think, to think about this. Can you do that?"

"I would like to," he said, hoping it would be something pleasant.

She pulled down on the blanket.

"Nice women don't..," he said.

"Oh yes, we do," she said. He had the presence of mind to pull her up to him and embrace her, and kiss her face before the door slid open and they were separated for exercise.

15

Hoshi walked next to Quellata as they made their way to exercise. She spoke, "Is it forbidden for me to ask you questions?"

"I am under a nondisclosure agreement with my clients," Quellata replied, "But it doesn't cover every single imaginable topic. Ask. I might even answer."

"All right. Uh, where are you from?"

"Oh. That I will answer. My planet is in what you refer to as the Delta Quadrant. It's called Dawitan."

"Oh, thank you. Uh, what's the ultimate purpose of all of this? Why do you want so many babies of different species?" Hoshi asked.

"That is definitely under the nondisclosure," Quellata said, "Ah, here we are. You know what to do, slime molds," she departed.

Lili was pushed in front of the tall Andorian. Jennifer was behind Dayah. They began to walk around.

Lili said, "You're Leveqa, aren't you?"

"Correct."

"I was told not to talk to you."

_Kick Kick.__  
_  
"That's probably wise," said the Andorian.

"Why?"

"When someone is being shunned, you don't inquire such things of them."

"Oh."

"You have marks like a Calafan," Leveqa pointed out.

"Yes, I have tattoos," Lili said.

"Keep quiet!" yelled a guard.

=/\=

Malcolm walked in front of Emmiz, "Do you know how to handle a medical emergency?"

"Emergency?" asked the young Xindi.

"Yes. What if there's a problem while in the cell? Can our captors be reached?"

"Yes. You can pound on the wall near where it opens on the left. I had to do that when Rellie gave birth. She was my first and I didn't know what to do. Now I'm experienced," he said a bit proudly.

"Oh. Interesting. Thank you."

"Which one is yours?" asked Emmiz.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Your partner. See mine? She's in front of the orange-haired human. See?"

"Oh. She's rather, uh, there's a significant age difference."

"It doesn't matter. She's my fourth. My best! It's funny. We came here; we were grabbed from the Betar Colony. I was a student of course. She was a government functionary of some sort. We never would have met. And even if we had, she's old enough; I could have been her grandson. Funny how things turn out."

"Funny, that."

"So, which one is yours?" Emmiz asked again.

"Oh. The one with the very, very light hair."

"Ah. She's very fat."

"She's expecting a child!"

"Ah. You must work very fast, then."

"It's not, it's not my child. She was pregnant before we got here," Malcolm said.

"Do you like her?"

"I, I'd rather not say," he said, keeping in mind that Doug wasn't too far behind him. But he smiled to himself. The morning had been excellent. Every moment seemed to be an improvement over the last.

=/\=

Jennifer walked around, miserable. Then she began to notice something. There were small gestures. Andorian antennae would waggle, very slightly. Xindi fingers would crook. Vulcan eyebrows would be raised slightly, or heads would nod. Klingons would sneer or shake their heads. Her fellow humans would nod just a tiny bit. Wave a little, too.

It happened when they saw the men. It would be a small look here, a tiny movement there. Tripp winking at Hoshi. Hoshi looking down, then up, making eye contact. Lili reddening a little. Jonathan smiling slightly. Deb tugging on her ear.

Jennifer kept walking. The gestures stopped when the men were out of view.

There were more movements as she turned again. A small wave from the Xindi to each other, the woman in front of her waved at a very young Xindi man who waved back. If Jennifer blinked, she'd have missed it, it was so subtle. A Vulcan woman coughed slightly, and a Vulcan man responded in kind. Doug narrowing his eyes. Melissa chewing on a fingernail for just a second. A Klingon tossing his hair. A Klingon woman responding by flaring her nostrils.

Travis just looked straight ahead. So did Jennifer. There were no messages being passed between the two of them.

But the others, they all were saying the same things, Jennifer could tell.

_I miss you._

I love you.

I can't wait to see you again.

Just wait until I get you ...

Home. _  
_  
Home.

Home?

This wasn't home. The _Enterprise_ wouldn't have been, for much longer, either. Not for Jennifer. She and Frank would be apart for a while as she finished out her tour. But then she'd move to Enceladus, and they'd be together, and would start a family. The children would, she had hoped, take after Frank – his dark eyes and hair, his silly snorting laugh.

But that dream was a million light years away and, seemingly, a thousand years old. It was gone, dead, DOA.

And Jennifer instead saw her future in the holding center. She saw the people in front of her, the Xindi woman, an Andorian, Lili, another Andorian, a Klingon, Melissa, yet another Andorian, a Vulcan, a Klingon, but, in her head, they transformed. A child with Travis. Then one, perhaps, with the Captain. Then Tripp. Doug Beckett. Malcolm Reed. And then back to Travis. Over and over and over again, until her body wore out. She would be a brood mare, nothing more, breeding, perhaps, champion racehorses or prize heifers for some unknown alien clientele. It was an endless, shuffling line of despair.

There was no way out. No hope. No way to fix it.

One.

_Maybe_.

The decision was made in a split second. She didn't weigh the options. She didn't have to. You don't have to, when it's your only option.

She ran at one of the guards, yelling and screaming. And the guard began to shock her with the stick.

=/\=

The men saw it, and they stopped walking, until they were prodded along themselves. But something was horribly wrong.

=/\=

Hoshi screamed.

Dayah broke ranks and ran to the fallen Jennifer.

A Klingon yelled, "Get medical help! _Now_!"

Jennifer was convulsing. Dayah finally got her to stop and leaned over her. Quietly, the Xindi said, "I know how you feel. And not one of us hasn't wanted to do that. You may hate your man. But if you care at all about any of your fellow humans, you'll stop this foolishness. Otherwise, you'll ruin it for all of them."

Jennifer didn't answer and just stared into space.

Lili held her own belly.

_Kick kick kick kick kick Kick Kick Kick.  
_

=/\=

Quellata burst in with the vet, who was of her species. The vet went to work. Quellata went up to one of the Imvari, "You're not supposed to shock them that much! We need this stock! Now get them moving again!"

=/\=

They had been walking for a while, trying not to look at Jennifer, lying in the middle of the floor and being administered to.

"This is reminiscent of two years ago," Leveqa finally said, behind Lili.

"What happened two years ago?"

"It was November. I think. It seems like it was a November."

"What happened in November?" Lili asked.

"She was so very, very small. They all are. Newborns. It doesn't matter what type. Vulcans, Andorians, Kreetassans, Calafans, Xindi. Humans are, too, I suppose."

"Yes, definitely. My son was helpless for a long time, even though he was a big baby," Lili said, holding her belly.

_Kick.__  
_  
"It was, it was easy," Leveqa said.

"What was easy?"

"It. It was easy. Serin will deny it, but he was a part of it. We decided it together."

"Tell me only what you want to," Lili said.

"Serin will say it was only me. He's a coward sometimes, and it's hard to be shunned. I do understand that. But he had a role in this, as well."

"Quiet!"

A few minutes later, Leveqa spoke again, "He didn't want to name her. Said she was so small, she'd never survive. It seemed pointless, like it would hurt. But I didn't listen. I named her Erell."

"Oh. And they took her?" Lili asked.

_Kick Kick Kick.  
_  
"It was easy. I nursed her. We held her. We looked at her. She looked up at us, antennae moving a little. Newborns don't have good control, so their antennae only move a little. And they moved, just a little."

"It must have been hard for you to give her up," Lili said.

"No."

"No?"

"It was ...," Leveqa paused for a second.

"Keep moving!"

_Kick Kick.  
_  
"Only tell me what you want to," Lili repeated.

"We decided. It had been maybe an hour. Serin pinched her nose closed. And I put my hand on her mouth. And we held ourselves there until she stopped struggling. It was only a few minutes. She was such a tiny thing. It didn't take long. It was ... easy."

_Kick kick kick kick kick kick kick Kick Kick Kick.  
_  
"Oh Gawd," Lili whispered.

"Erell will never be hungry. She will never have her heart broken. And she will never work for, or breed for, the Witannen or their clients. _Never_."

_Kick Kick.  
_  
Lili put her hand behind her back and opened it, "I don't know if this helps. I know this helps us."

Leveqa took her hand and gripped it, "It helps us, too."

=/\=

Exercise ended, and the men went to cleansing.

"Captain, you should know, Lili-Fl–, uh, Lili, she was able to, she feels, make contact with the _Enterprise_ last night," Malcolm said.

"What? How is that even possible?"

"It's a type of Calafan dream state," Malcolm said.

"Yes," Doug added, "She can do that. I kinda can, too, but she's better at it than I am. I tend to ignore the signals more these days."

"If she can contact T'Pol, she'll need every bit of information we've got. Everyone, tell Malcolm anything you know. And I mean _anything_, any little bit. You might think it's not important, but it can be," Jonathan commanded.

Doug hung back while the others talked to Malcolm. When they were done, Quellata returned and they were being herded back to the cells. All he said to Malcolm was, "I'm watching, Reed. Don't think I'm not. You're not off the hook."

=/\=

"Are you all right, Jennifer?" Travis asked.

"Huh? Oh, not too bad," she said, "But sick to my stomach," she refused the tube of paste he offered her.

"I don't want you to get hurt."

"Uh, thanks."

"We're gonna get out of here," he assured her, "Don't worry."

"Too late for that," she sighed.

=/\=

"It's pretty horrible what happened to Jennifer," Melissa said.

"She okay?" Doug asked.

"I think so. She walked out under her own power."

"Well, that's something at least."

"She must've been pretty desperate," Melissa said.

"She's a strong girl. A little confused, I think."

"Aren't we all?"

=/\=

Tripp said, "This isn't feelin' like too much fun anymore. No offense."

"None taken. Tripp, she was trying to kill herself."

"I know. How, uh, how long we been here, would you say?"

"Over a week, I think. I feel like I'm losing contact with reality, with the outside."

"I think that's the idea. I talked to a few of 'em as we were going around."

"Yes, the endless Dante circles of hell," Hoshi said.

"Yep. The meaningless journey. Well, they almost – and this was a Klingon and a Vulcan, but maybe they aren't all like this. They kinda seemed like they almost had sympathy for the Witannen. They kinda identified with Quellata, and wondered why Jennifer would be so, well – they said it, not me – _inconsiderate_."

"It's like Stockholm syndrome," Hoshi said.

"Yeah. No wonder they don't try to escape."

"We'd better make our move pretty soon," she said, "before we get too comfortable here."

=/\=

"Deb, when you next see Lili, tell her anything strategic you've got. Make sure the other women do, too. After exercise – you'll have some semi-private time when showering."

"Yes, of course. Anything else, Jonathan?"

"Yes. Smile just a tiny bit. It's been a helluva day. I just want to see a little something good."

She felt the same frisson of excitement as before, "Whatever I can do for you, tell me."

=/\=

_Kick Kick Kick.  
_  
Lili held her belly again. Malcolm came over and put his hand over hers, "Here, let me help you with that," he said.

"Thanks. A little better. It's been a little tough for me to calm down."

"Understood. Here, let's sit," he sat behind her and put his arms around her, "Any better?"

"Of course."

"Malcolm, I talked with one of the Andorians. They had told me not to speak with her. But I'm stubborn Irish so I did it anyway. And it turns out, Gawd, it's awful. She, um, she and her partner – they smothered their own baby rather than turn her over to Quellata," Lili started to cry a little.

"Oh my. Shh," Malcolm whispered in her ear, "Shh. Weep if it makes you feel better," he kissed the top of her head. She leaned against his chest and cried.

She finally stopped, "I don't know if I could do that."

_Kick Kick Kick.  
_  
"I will, I will do what, whatever you wish," he said, "I'd rather, rather not harm him," he took a breath, "But I will do whatever you think is best."

"I don't know what decision I'll make."

"No need to decide right now. You're how far away?"

"It's gone over to four months away," she said, "If I'm counting the days right."

He did a quick calculation in his head. Four months plus a few – three? Then another nine, and possibly as many as another three. A year and a half together. Maybe, "When the time comes, we'll handle it together. And we'll be together, as long as possible. I don't know what I'll do when they separate us."

"I don't want to think about that right now. Malcolm, did you ever want children? Marriage and a home? Tell me, one way or the other. I just want to talk about something else."

"Well," he said, moving his hand back to her belly, "Do you remember, during the Xindi War, there was this time when we met up with another _Enterprise_? Kind of a strange thing. A ship being manned and piloted by the descendants of the crew."

"Yes. I recall that. And I agree that it was strange."

"Well, I was the only senior officer to die a bachelor," Malcolm swallowed, "It's bothered me a little bit ever since. But I don't know how I'd ever have a family. It's not like I'm ever at home."

"Hmm."

"You must've had someone. I know all the women were taken. Was it Major Jay Hayes, by chance?"

"That would have been poetic justice," she said, "But, no. It was actually José Torres."

"That very tall chap in Engineering?"

"The very same. We had a daughter, too. Maria Elena."

"So am I too short for you?" Malcolm asked.

"No, of course not."

"Why didn't you try to pursue things with José?"

"Well, I'm a good decade older than he is. And I think I was the least desirable woman on the ship. I doubt he would have gone after me if I wasn't, literally, his last option," she said.

"I don't think so. I know you're not, by any stretch. And, at the very least, you can say you were loved a little bit," he said wistfully.

"You can say the same."

There was a hissing sound.

"That damnable gas," Malcolm said.

"Now I know they're not listening in," Lili said, "Otherwise they'd have figured out by now that we don't need it."

28


	6. Chapters 1618

16

Gently, he held her.

"Oh?" she said.

"Yes. I'd like to do for you what you did for me this morning. It was _devastatingly satisfying_."

"What? I'm terrible at that."

"No! Absolutely not, Lili-Flower. What's, what's making you feel so inadequate about it? I mean, if anyone were to have cause to feel inadequate, it would be me."

"_You_?"

"You forget I've been made to shower with your husband and the others. He is quite, eh, remarkable. Truly. I mean, we're not supposed to look, but of course everyone does, I suppose. I wonder what the others think. And I wonder, even more, is that, is it a necessity for you? Am I able to, to satisfy what you need?"

"Of course, Malcolm," she kissed him, "I mean, can't you hear me?"

"Well, now that you mention it," he pantomimed cleaning out one of his ears, "I fear I may be starting to suffer a little upper register hearing loss."

_Kick Kick.  
_  
She laughed at him and hit his shoulder lightly with her hand, then turned serious, "It's too much, actually. He's too much. I'll tell you the details some other time."

He remembered, "When he first came to the _Enterprise_. You were in Sick Bay. We thought you were going to die. And I didn't, I didn't put it together. I was just in a rage. But there was, there was blood on his, his shorts. I didn't realize then, but I realize it now. It was _your_ blood, wasn't it?"

She nodded, "Phlox had to do some seriously fancy work to get it all to work at all."

"I do hope Melissa Madden is all right."

=/\=

He kissed her. He didn't do that, much, but she was okay with that.

"C'mere," she said.

He touched body parts that were smaller than he was used to, hips that were wider, and hair and skin that were darker, "Melissa," he said softly, "let's do this."

"It gets better every time."

"Good. Let me show you something else."

=/\=

She laid there, stock still, not moving. All she could think of was, _please, please, please, let's just get this over with.  
_  
Then the gas took effect, finally, and she was able to embrace Travis, after a fashion.

=/\=

She wore him out. _Again_.

"Man, oh man," he said, "Deb, you shoulda seen me in my prime."

"It's okay," she whispered in his ear and then kissed it, "You've got skills. Experience. Technique."

"Ha, well, I guess it comes with the territory. You're very agile," Jonathan said.

"Security," she said, "I'm wily like a cat."

=/\=

"Whew!"

"Yeah. That was, uh, wow."

"Feels like we got a double dose, Hoshi."

"Probably. Can't say they don't know their stuff."

"Can't say you don't know yours," Tripp said, "Might wanna bottle that technique so's we can repeat it later."

"How 'bout now?"

"Hmm. Yeah," he kissed her and ran his fingers through her glossy black hair, "Gimme a sec."

=/\=

They lay back, panting, side by side, "I can kinda see what the fuss is all about," she said.

"You're a quick study," Doug gasped.

"Got any of the tube food left?"

"I think so. Here."

"Thanks. I'm craving oatmeal cookies," Melissa said, squeezing the tube.

"Lili makes those," he said suddenly, sitting up.

"Oh. She seems really domestic. Is she a stay at home Mom?"

"No. Well, only for the first six months after Joss was born. Then she went back to work."

"Work?"

"We own a restaurant. She's a chef," Doug said.

"Oh. That would explain the cookies, I guess. What do you do there? You're retired from Starfleet, right?"

"Yep. I, uh, she does the cooking and the shopping. She's the talent. And our friend, Treve, he does the books and the buying. And right now he's supervising the expansion."

"And you?" she prompted.

"I was supposed to do that – the books, the buying. But we found out that I'm not good at that. So first I worked on construction, and I also did that at home – helped the workmen build the house. And when she went back to work, I ended up caring for Joss a lot when the sitter was at school."

"Did you like doing that?"

"Well, I love my son. So I changed diapers, fed him milk from a bottle, that kind of thing. He's more independent now."

"And you'll take care of the one that's coming?"

"Assuming I get a chance to, yes."

"Is that enough for you?" she asked.

"Not really. I go hunting – made friends with some of the Calafan workmen. We go every few months or so. I can't take Joss yet. I also fish. That I can take him to, although he doesn't have a lot of patience for it."

"Well, he's still little."

"Do you hunt?"

"Sure I do. I bagged a buck the last time I was in the Pacific Northwest."

"We should go some time."

"Heh, I don't think your wife would like that."

"Yeah, you're right. Or at least, she _shouldn't_."

"True," she said.

"I kinda jumped at the chance to teach this class and get out of the house for a while."

"You kinda don't know what to do with yourself, do you, Doug?"

"Yeah. I got here and I thought I'd be happy. And it's good here. I'm not _un_happy."

"But ...? Doug, if you were still on the other side, what would you be doing_ right now_?"

"Probably the same thing I – uh, we – just did. Then sleeping. I'm sorry that I snore."

"I don't mean this. I mean, you know, work and stuff."

"Ha. Less fun. I'd run Tactical, be put in command sometimes, blow stuff up. I'd also be watching my back, though. It's a tough place. There's always someone gunning for you."

"You don't want to go back there, right?"

"No. _Never_. But I – this seems ungrateful. But I do kinda miss the excitement sometimes, Melissa."

=/\=

"Ohhh. I need some water."

"Me, too."

"Huh. That was_ intense_."

"Yes," he kissed her after they had both downed some water, "So good."

"You should see me when I'm not pregnant. I can move better."

"Oh? You'll put me in a coma," he smiled, and then thought of something, "I should tell you. If you wish to hear. About Pamela."

"_Now_?"

"Well, if you're all right with it. I just feel I can tell you anything."

"Very well," she said, grabbing the blanket.

_Kick.  
_  
He put an arm around her, and the other one on her belly.

"It was definitely intense. She and her class came to the _Enterprise_ for some instruction from Phlox. It was some sort of special program. And she was beautiful and captivating and I just did everything, anything I could to win her."

"Like what?"

"I sent her poetry. Anonymously," he looked down.

"From a book? Elizabeth Barrett Browning or something like that?"

"No. Shakespearean sonnets. I wrote them myself," he admitted.

"Oh, wow," she touched both sides of his face with her hands and smiled at him broadly, "That's extremely creative of you."

"I don't normally get a chance to be creative. You do, I know. I've seen things you've made – different colors, textures, shapes – putting things together in all sorts of unexpected combinations. I remember your cooking very, very fondly," he kissed her.

"Well I like trying to make something that no one's ever thought of before. But I know that you're creative. You're inventive – you've had to improvise all sorts of weapons stuff. I don't know the particulars but I do know that you saved our bacon many, many times. And you did it without much of an instruction manual."

"It's a puzzle. I like puzzles. Putting them together, taking them apart and, and reconfiguring them," he said, "Seeing the combinations in my head and acting on them."

"Do you do crossword puzzles?"

"I love them."

"Me, too. I remember my mother used to do them. I'd sit next to her on the couch and would try to help her fill them in. I do that with Joss now. He doesn't know the answers, of course. It's more like, _'This is an A, this is a B.'_ that sort of thing. Do you play _Scrabble_?"

"Yes, but I imagine I spell things a bit differently from how you do."

"Yes. You probably put in a lot of extra U's."

"They're not extra! They're _needed_. Do you play chess?"

"Very, very badly. I can't seem to see all the moves or even any moves. I probably telegraph a lot. There are people who can see, like, eighty-seven moves ahead. They probably have me figured out before I even set up the board, let alone make a move."

"Oh. Well I'm the big champion on the ship."

"Really? How excellent. How about sports? Anything physical?"

"Ahem," he said, and then kissed her, "Football."

"You toss a spheroid down a field?"

"No, no, no, you're talking about _American _football. Me, I kick a black and white ball. And Pete in there would probably be rather good at that, with all of his kicking," he patted her abdomen.

"I played baseball when I was in High School. Shortstop."

"Really. I don't know baseball very much."

"Oh, it's great. And to go to a game! It's a complete sensory experience," she said.

"I beg your pardon?"

"It is. The crack of the bat – it's physics. There's a certain sweet spot on every wooden bat. When you strike horsehide with it, it makes a distinctive sound. It's unmistakable. And the sights! It's colorful uniforms and blue skies and green grass. You can feel the people around you, and the changes in the weather if they happen. And you can smell peanuts roasting."

"And hot dogs, right?"

"Oh, yeah. They're made with about a thousand different horrible things. Which means Joss will probably want six whenever he's taken for his first game."

"And taste – you forget taste."

"Beer. You have to have a beer whenever you go. Unless you're a child or pregnant, of course."

"Of course. I suppose a footy game's a bit like that. There's the same green grass and blue skies. Colorful uniforms and people wearing team colors. Loud crowds, announcers with all sorts of accents. Red cards. Some woman running down the field, dribbling the ball forward, then some fellow comes in, arcing on the side," he demonstrated by tracing it all on her forearm, "and if she sees him, she kicks it over here, to her teammate. And if not, he intercepts it, and it goes 'round this way," he turned to face her and kissed her, then smiled at her.

"You looking to score again?" she asked.

=/\=

"What would be exciting for you, Doug?"

"More, I dunno. More _something_. I want to expand my world. I'm just not so sure how to do that."

"You'll think of something."

=/\=

"First, I never actually told you much about Pamela."

"Oh, yeah. Sorry, I guess I interrupted you there."

"That's quite all right. A lovely diversion, that."

"Tell me what you need to," she said.

"I, well, she's an abuse victim."

"How awful," Lili involuntarily held her stomach.

_Kick.  
_  
"Very bad. There's no sugar-coating it. But what it did to her was, it sort of held her, held her sexuality hostage. She would get pleasure out of, from intense feelings."

"I get the feeling you're not talking about the intense feelings you and I just had," Lili said.

"That's correct. It was intense bad feelings. Pain. Dominance. I'm sorry. It's unpleasant."

"Did you, did you go along with it?"

"A bit. Mostly on the receiving end of it. I stopped while it was still rather mild. The word _avocado_ – we used it to signal when we should stop, you see. It doesn't – I don't like it. I didn't get a charge out of it like she really did. Let her do things but, for the most part, didn't do anything back. At the time, I had thought I was too hung up and unable to relax but no amount of relaxation would have truly made me enjoy most of it."

"Was any of it, uh, fun?"

"Tell no one."

"My lips are sealed. Except, uh, right now," she kissed him, and they lingered for a while.

"See, no need for any extras," he said, "When it's, when it's ...," His voice trailed off.

She just smiled at him, "No need."

"Oh, but getting to what _was _a spot of fun – it was silk restraints. That part's kind of fun," he admitted, whispering conspiratorially, "Being restricted – it means you have to get creative."

"Back to creativity again," she smiled, "Will you still see her for Jenny's wedding?"

"I suppose I can't _un_invite her," he said, "I don't know how I'm going to handle myself afterwards. Assuming we escape from here."

"Me neither," she admitted.

They kissed.

"It's getting late," he said, "We should sleep. I don't want to. But it would be better for you, and for Peter. Yes?"

"Yeah. We should sleep. Malcolm?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you for feeling you can trust me."

He just nodded. They lay together, intertwined, and fell asleep.

=/\=

Lili dreamed.

_It was the Enterprise, again._

She made her way to where Joss was. He saw her again, and she hugged and kissed him as before.

Yimar was there, too. She sat up, "I can see you, Lili," she said.

"Good. I have information that we think can help T'Pol. Do you have a PADD?"

"No."

"Tomorrow night, then, make sure to have one. In the meantime, remember whatever you can from what I'm about to tell you." 

17

"_Do you have all that?" Lili asked._

"I don't know. You're right; I'll need a PADD next time," Yimar admitted.

"'Ommy, o'meal."

"We managed to use a spoon all by ourselves yesterday," Yimar explained.

"You did?" Lili broadly smiled, addressing her son, "You're such a big boy now!" She paused for a second, "I'm missing that."

"Just keep working on what you've been doing. I'm sure you'll be able to get back here soon. And, uh, Lili, can I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"It's totally off-topic. And I mean totally_," said the teenager._

"Uh, all right."

"Do you know why Brian doesn't like me?"

"What?"

"He, like, totally blows me off sometimes. And he's not always nice to Chip, either!"

"Actually, Yimar, I think he likes you. A lot_."_

"Huh. Really?"

"Yes," Lili chuckled a little, "He's just shy. And he doesn't have a lot of experience around girls of, of any species. And I think he thinks you're too young."

"I'm not!"

"For humans, you are. You're supposed to be eighteen. I mean, you could kiss, but you shouldn't be, um, Yimar, you should be having this conversation with your mother."

"I can't talk to my mother like I can talk to you. She can barely string three words together."

"Yimar, your mother's been through a lot. She's been very ill."

"I know. But I need to talk to a Mom."

"If – uh, when – I get back, we can have a long talk, okay?"

"Okay. I bet you didn't have these problems when you were sixteen."

"No, I had other problems. I played baseball so the boys all thought of me as one of the guys. But that was a long time ago," Lili smiled, and then felt the tug of morning.

Yimar felt it, too, "Gonna wake up soon. I'll tell T'Pol everything I remember."

"Don't forget the PADD tomorrow," Lili said, then addressed Joss, "Be a good boy for Yimar. I love you_."_

She awoke. _  
_

=/\=

Malcolm knew she was talking in her sleep, and not saying those three little words to him, but it was still a rush to hear them, in her soft voice.

=/\=

Exercise, that day, was less eventful. Jennifer walked around with the others, compliant, bowed, a little broken, perhaps.

On the men's side, Doug walked behind a Vulcan, "Do you have any idea what's gonna happen to my kid?" he asked.

"We do not have that information."

"But, I mean, are they, Gawd, are they served up as filets or something?" he asked anxiously.

"Quiet!" yelled an Imvari guard.

"That's hardly logical," said the Vulcan, "There is an enormous amount of effort and care being taken to assure that they are being born alive and healthy."

"Hmm," Doug thought for a moment, "Then, uh, is this for some sort of an alien pet store? Are they puppies, wagging their tails, licking hands and hoping to be adopted by kindly families with boisterous alien children?" his voice was rising.

"Becoming overly emotional will not answer your questions," The Vulcan chided him.

"How many have you lost to the Witannen?"

"Two," The Vulcan admitted, "Going through a form of _pon farr_ every single night is ... difficult," he stated, "It is not what we would choose for ourselves."

"Yeah, I hear that. What's your theory on what happens to them?"

"Speculation is useless. But this ship is large and fast-moving. Perhaps they are being kept as eventual replacements for all of us, the ones you see before you."

=/\=

"Mr. Masterson, work with Yimar on what she has to tell us."

"Yes, Commander. C'mon," he said to Yimar, who was holding Joss, "Let's go look at the database."

"Okay. Now, I only know what I can remember."

"Understood," he said, punching a few buttons to get the screen to light up. Start talking."

"Lili said there's five species there. Humans, Vulcans, Klingons, Andorians and, um, Xindi."

"Know what kind of Xindi?"

"I forget," Yimar said.

"That's okay. What else?" he was tapping away, quickly.

"Cookie," Joss said.

"We'll get a cookie later. Um, the Xindi were picked up, uh, three years ago. I think it's called Beta Colony," she adjusted the child in her arms.

"Hmm. Looks like there's no Beta Colony. I think it's Betar. Yeah, that should be it. So, huh, that was 2156. Here, let's map that. And here's where our people were grabbed, about a week and a half ago. What about the others?"

"She said the Andorians were there the longest."

"Yeah, we got that, it was almost ten years ago, on a ship, uh, here," he added the data to the map, "Who else?"

"Klingons were somewhere in between. I forget when. And the Vulcans were the most recent – two years ago."

"Got any information on where the Klingons and Vulcans were grabbed from?" Chip asked.

"No. Oh, and Lili said they were replacing the Kreetassans."

"So they were picked up, huh, let's assume it's not the exact same time as the others were yanked. And, here, let's put these up tentatively – Klingon and Vulcan home systems, Kreetassan home system, too. I'll use orange to show those, green for the ones we're surer about," he finished tapping in the coordinates and stopped to admire his work for a second.

"Cookie?" Joss asked again.

"No, cookie later, okay?" she said.

"Will you look at that," Chip said, whistling slightly through his teeth, "I do believe we have something. Commander, can you come here a sec?"

=/\=

Deb followed a Klingon, "Do you, uh, do you think the guards are corruptible?"

"Corruptible? What would you propose to bribe one with?" asked the Klingon, laughing a little to herself.

"Uh, I dunno. Sex, I guess," she hadn't really thought that one through.

"An Imvari would bust you in two. I imagine they're even bigger than my Kolos," she pointed, "The greybeard. He was a political prisoner when we were picked up – as we all were."

"Oh. Huh. Just a thought."

"Griud over there – he likes the ladies," she said, indicating one of the Imvari, "But, like I said, I hardly think you have what it takes."

"Hmm. Thanks. I think."

=/\=

"Are these coordinates and dates correct?" T'Pol asked.

"As correct as I can make them so far, Commander," Chip said. He traced the arc on the screen, "So we have a segment of an ellipse, it kinda looks like, going from this part of Andorian space, to possibly the Kreetassan home system, through to the Klingon home world, maybe, then to the Xindi Betar Colony. Then it doubles back to Vulcan and, eventually, to the spot near the Lafa System where our people were grabbed. So it's not a perfect arc. They might have, I dunno, picked up supplies as they went along," he speculated.

"And the continuing course?" she asked.

"Looks like it heads past the Solar System and then, if we take it to its, heh, logical conclusion, right outta the galaxy," he said.

"Cookie?"

=/\=

Travis walked in front of an Andorian, "Can I ask you a question?"

"I suppose. But I was raised with manners in the Diplomatic Corps. I am called Serin."

"Oh. I'm Travis. Do you think there's any way to resist the effects of the gas?"

"Hmm. I'm not sure," Serin said, "But satisfaction can calm the urges. Just as it does when there is no gas, of course. You have noticed this, no?"

"I guess a little."

=/\=

"Do you think the people who were grabbed from each species, do they have purposes? Other than the obvious," Hoshi asked a Xindi.

"Hmm. We have a government worker and a student. But also a pilot, two weapons officers, uh, four engineers and, I think we have a Communications person but he and I have not been together yet."

"We have, uh, two pilots," Hoshi ticked off using her fingers, "an Armory officer and a former one, two Engineers, me, I'm in Comms, a Security crew member, our Captain and a Chef."

"We also have an Armory officer," interjected the Klingon who was walking behind her, "Three pilots. Two in Communications. I am the only Engineer. Plus an advocate and a Captain. The last one, I do not know."

"Hmm. So we might all have at least one pilot, one Communications person, one Engineer and one Armory officer. Might or might not have a Captain as well. Then the others are mixed. They don't seem to matter quite so much, I guess," Hoshi concluded.

"Plus every species is warp-capable," The Klingon said, "The Kreetassans were here before you. And, before the Vulcans, there were Calafans. I don't know about earlier."

"Thanks," Hoshi said, "This was really helpful. I think."

"Quiet!"

=/\=

"So, thanks for the cookies," Yimar said to Brian later, in the cafeteria, "I think Joss really liked the square one. What did you call that again?"

"A brownie," he said.

"They're really nice," she said, "Like someone I know."

He reddened. She had to mean Chip Masterson. _Of course_.

=/\=

Back in the cells, Doug and Melissa sat together, eating, "So who do you like in the preseason?" he asked.

"Hmm. That new quarterback from Brandeis looks promising. What's his name?"

"Culp," he said.

"Y'know, Doug, at some point we should probably have some sort of a serious discussion."

"Yeah, I guess so. I'm just not sure what I'd say."

"Me neither," Melissa admitted.

"I love my wife," he said, "I do. But I'm also getting, I'm getting confused. I don't like being confused, and I don't like sitting around and doing nothing."

"Understood," she said, "And I love Norri. And I respect your marriage."

"Yeah. Whatever shape it's in now."

=/\=

"Do you think you could stand on my shoulders and reach the panel?" Tripp asked.

"Didn't someone else try that?"

"Yeah. But we got a little while before we get, uh, all happy and stuff. I won't let you fall, I swear."

"You better not. How tall are we together?" she asked nervously as she stepped onto his interlaced fingers.

"Over three meters, I'm sure. Maybe close to three and a third, three and a half. Okay, now, step up. Stay steady."

"Uhhh. I hate this."

"If you're scared, I'll letcha down. But I won't letcha fall."

Hoshi reached up and touched the panel, "I think I can get my fingers into the grid."

"Is it fastened with anything you can recognize?"

"There are round holes. Not too deep. I'm guessing the fasteners are in there somehow," she leaned back a little and swayed, "Okay, that's enough. Please let me down."

"All right," he said, letting her down and holding her until she calmed down a bit, "See, I didn't letcha fall. Hmm. I bet we can work with that. Now, let's think. What's round?"

=/\=

He hadn't done it with her without the assistance of the gas before. It felt pretty good. She was attractive, and more than willing. He made sure that she enjoyed herself, and did his best to please her. When they were done, he said, "Deb, give it to me straight."

"Really good. And that's not just the crush talking, Jonathan."

"You make me feel like I'm younger than I am, like I don't always have to be so responsible all the time."

"Well, you're still in control, you know."

"Just, let it be a bit more equal," he said, "That's the problem with relationships like ours. They're too unequal. I can decide to fire you at any time if it doesn't work out. And that's just too shaky for anything, you know, lasting."

"We'd never be together without this all happening," she said, "I know they didn't know that when they decided to pair us up. But it's almost like it was designed to make me never want to leave this place."

"It's a gilded cage," he said, "But it's still a cage."

=/\=

She grabbed his hands and kissed him the moment she saw him.

_Kick Kick.__  
_  
"Uh, what's this?" Malcolm asked, aroused but also a bit amused.

"I just want to do it before they help us along chemically," Lili said.

"Oh. Well, I believe I can accommodate that," he smiled at her, "You make me incredibly happy."

They kissed, and she took off his shirt slowly, "Just right," she said.

"All right, Goldilocks," he said.

"I know," she said, "that I've been all over the place emotionally. Pregnancy will definitely do that. But this is different. It's more," They kissed deeply.

He swallowed a little and looked her in the eye before he kissed her again. It was what he wanted. _Exactly, precisely, no argument, no deviation_.

There was a hissing sound, and they both looked up.

"Right on schedule," he said.

"It feels wonderful," she said, "Just right. Together."

18

"_Oh, good, you brought a PADD this time."_

"Of course, Lili. Now, what have you got?" Yimar asked.

"I know about a few more species that've been here before us. There were Tellarites, Xyrillians and Takret."

"Ah, oh, good, that's one of the questions T'Pol wanted me to ask you. And when they came in, and from where. Do you know any of that?"

"'Ommy, 'eech."

"We saw a leech in Sick Bay today," Yimar explained.

"Ugh," Lili shuddered, "I'm a little glad I didn't get to be a part of that." _  
_

=/\=

"Doug, are you holding my hand?"

"Oh, uh, sorry," he dropped it quickly.

"It's okay."

"It's funny," he said, "My hands have been pretty much everywhere _but_ your hands, and my mouth's been almost everywhere _but_ your mouth, and then ..."

"Yeah. Holding hands seems too personal. As does kissing," Melissa said.

"You gotta understand my position," Doug said, "I'm committed. Really, committed. In love, happy, the whole nine yards. And then, suddenly, I've been unfaithful. And then again, and again. And it makes me wonder – because I couldn't resist it – what's really going on. And I figured, yanno, I should totally hate myself, and hate the person I'd been unfaithful with. To my mind, that's what all made sense. And then, heh, suddenly I realized that that person isn't awful at all. And I don't hate myself. And I don't hate that person."

"Of course I understand your position. I know it because it's the position I'm in, too," Melissa said.

"And I just kinda wonder, what's gonna happen?" he said, "I haven't trusted a lotta women. Can I trust you? Can I trust Lili anymore? I don't know, I don't get it. I feel like I shouldn't – like that's just gone. And I should hate myself. Even if I don't hate you. I should hate me, for succumbing to this. I shoulda been stronger. I'm supposed to be strong, dammit. I'm supposed to be able to get past such things."

"Are we allowed to be friends, Doug? What's the new reality?"

"Maybe not," he admitted, "Maybe that's too difficult."

"I wish it wasn't," she said, "I don't hate you, either. The opposite. Not the polar opposite," she quickly added.

"'Course not," he said, "But, yeah, can we be friendly? Or does that just hurt everybody? I haven't had female friends. Just Lili, really. But I can't see us, you know, sitting down and breaking bread together. And I would like to break bread together. I wish that didn't have to be impossible," he leaned over and kissed her, voluntarily.

"What was that for?"

"For listening. And for not freaking out. You don't seem to freak out too easily."

"Oh, I freak out about plenty of things. But I can tell you're doing your best to make it easier. I just don't feel like I need to freak about, uh, about this."

=/\=

"_Oh and another thing – there's probably more that you're forgetting. So I was thinking, can you bring along a passenger next time?" Yimar asked._

"Hmm. I guess so."

"You need to maintain physical contact, remember?"

"Yes," Lili said cautiously. She knew she was maintaining contact with Malcolm at all times. He was holding her, or had his hand on her stomach, every single night, "I wonder if this connection is a little more fragile."

"Might just be some interference or something. I dunno the physics of it. But you know, you put together all of the amplifying metal, go to sleep and anyone you're contacting directly should be able to come along. Although maybe, now that I think about it, touching the amplifier might help. I think Joss is just really in tune with you – that's why he was able to make contact without any amplifier."

"Puppy!" Joss interjected.

"He loves Porthos. I think he wants one," Yimar explained.

"Ah, hmm," Lili said. Morning was coming, "I think we're gonna break soon."

"Agreed. Good info here, I think. See ya." _  
_

=/\=

"Good morning," Malcolm said, kissing her cheek. Lili noticed he didn't have a hand on her left arm at all. He wasn't touching the bracelet.

"Do you think you've moved much through the night?"

"Not too much, I don't think," he said, "Any issues with that?"

"I was just wondering if you'd touched the bracelet at all. I wonder if you'd even know that."

"I suppose I would never really know. How was the dream?"

"It was good. Actually, what do you think about joining me tomorrow night?"

"I recall you did that once."

"With Tripp Tucker," Lili said.

"Yes," he said, "When I figured he'd be sharing your bed it did give me pause. Even platonically, I did have a pang. I trust him, of course. With my very life. But maybe the word isn't jealousy – envy. Not jealous of sexual contact as I knew there would be none. Just envy that he'd be there and I wouldn't."

"Well, you're here now. And you'll be there tonight, if you like. But, uh, maybe not in front of Joss. I don't want to confuse him."

"Understood," he said, "I'm sure that there have been plenty of causes of confusion for him recently. I don't want to be another one. I do want to ask one thing, though."

"Hmm? We'll be on a time constraint."

"Could I kiss you in this dream?"

"If we weren't on a time constraint, we could do far more than that. But, uh, yes. I do wanna see my little duck, though," she said.

He smiled, "Absolutely. Only a minute or so of the time, all right? A little, uh, a surprise I guess. And a tiny bit of indulgence, if you would."

"Okay," she said, "I do enjoy indulging you, Malcolm."

They kissed.

"I enjoy indulging you as well. I'm so very glad that you're, that you're letting me."

25


	7. Chapters 1921

19

Melissa got behind a Klingon as they began to shuffle around.

"You are the pilot?" the Klingon asked.

"Yes, that's right, but I'm not the only one. There's also a male pilot," she replied.

"Are you paired up?"

"No. I have," she paused for a second. That was an odd choice of words, "the former Armory Officer. There," she pointed.

"Fairly tall for a human," said the Klingon, "I think the mismatches are intentional, at least for the first pairing. Do you have duplicated skill sets or positions?"

"Two Armory Officers – one current, one former. Two engineers. And two pilots," Melissa said, "Otherwise, nothing matches."

"And are any of them paired up?"

Melissa thought for a second, "Uh, no. The female engineer is with the male pilot. And the Armory Officers are both male."

"So a pairing is impossible for them."

"Why does that matter – particularly for the first pairing?"

"The Witannen seem to have done that – at least this is my own pet theory – they kept similar people apart because, I suspect, they thought there would be more conspiring that way. More attempting to escape. And then as a species stays longer and longer, the attempts to escape become less and less frequent."

"Huh," Melissa said, "I wonder if the Andorians saw a lot of that, or if that's a more recent development."

"Leveqa," the Klingon asked the Andorian in front of her, "were there a lot of escape attempts in the beginning?"

"Some. No one got very far."

"Question," Melissa said, "Have any species been here longer than the Andorians?"

"Well?" asked the Klingon.

"There was one here when we got here. They looked a lot like humans. But they were telepathic. The Witannen did not realize this. So this other species – I recall they called themselves Beta-something-or-others – they conspired, and it didn't matter that they were separated. They made a big attempt."

"How?" asked Melissa.

"A rush at the guards."

"So they failed, of course," said the Klingon.

"I guess – are they in another unit?" Melissa inquired.

"No. The Witannen had the Imvari kill them all. Losing good stock is not preferred, I am sure, but they could not have this kind of behavior occurring. They cannot do anything against telepathy."

Lili heard some of that – just enough. The Calafan dreams were a little like telepathy. She'd have to tread carefully.

=/\=

Travis walked in front of a Xindi.

"Are you the pilot?" asked the Xindi.

"Yes. One of them."

"What were your final coordinates?"

Travis told him.

"I have been trying to figure out course and speed for years now," said the Xindi, "We never leave the Alpha Quadrant, or at least the Andorians here don't believe we have, and they have been here the longest. We also seem to be skittering along one of the arms of the Milky Way galaxy."

"Well, our home world is nearly at the end of an arm," Travis said. He couldn't say anymore as that was still a strategic issue, certainly not to be divulged for nearby Klingons to hear.

"I wonder if we are about to leave the galaxy," said the Xindi.

=/\=

Jennifer walked around slowly. Round things. Hoshi had mentioned that the grates were somehow held up with some sort of rounded fasteners. They would have to get the fasteners off, and with something round. But what was round?

The puzzle helped take her mind off things. Fingertips were round. Toes, too, possibly, but the thought of using one – or, ugh removing one somehow – repulsed her. Teeth? Again, she was repulsed. She was running out of things.

What was a typical day like?

They'd wake up and she'd yell at poor Travis or cower in a corner. Then the tubes would be thrown in, they'd uncap them and eat something. Then they'd be brought out, under guard, and go walking around and around. Then a shower and a change, and back for another round of tube food and then – she didn't want to think about that part.

Round, round, round, what was round?

When she realized the answer, she practically jumped for joy.

_Tube caps.  
_

=/\=

It was the same as before. They filed back and were cleaned up. Jennifer didn't tell anyone what she was thinking – she just figured she'd try it. No sense in disappointing anyone else if it didn't work.

Information shared – as much as possible – they were led back to their respective cells.

=/\=

They lay back together, close and warm, smiling at each other.

"I feel a little like a teenager again. But with, uh, better activities."

"Oh. Were you a good girl, studious and all that?"

"Nope. Got into trouble during the off-season. Nothing really bad, more like joyriding, that kind of thing. You?"

"Chess club, Eagle Scout and football. I was booooorrrring."

"Oh, c'mon, I'm sure you were – to use your word – _devastatingly_ cute."

"Cute? I was completely awkward. In the dictionary, under _awkward_, you'll see a photograph of Malcolm Reed, age fifteen. Go ahead and look when you can, if you don't believe me."

"You're definitely not awkward anymore," she said, "You move _really_ well."

_Kick.  
_  
"Oh. Well, I have the perf – a great – partner," he said, and they kissed for a while, "Say, how does the dream actually work?"

"You'll need to maintain physical contact with me and the bracelet."

"Oh. Well I can certainly do that. No need to tell me twice. And we simply fall asleep?"

"That's all we've gotta do. If you want out, you just tell yourself to wake up. At a certain point, your body clock will just wake you up anyway. Ready?"

"Yes, I think so. Definitely tired – getting tired is quite delightful," he made sure to put his hand over her braceleted wrist.

=/\=

_It was the holding center, and they walked along the hallway, hand in hand._

"So, this is it?" he asked, "Feels real, almost."

"Yes, these dreams feel incredibly real. If I didn't know they were dreams, I'd swear they were an alternate reality. For the Calafans, they almost are."

"Can we see rooms we don't know?" Malcolm asked.

"That doesn't seem to be possible when it's just us. I did something like that, but it was on Lafa II and of course that's populated with a few billion Calafans. They all, I am guessing, amplify themselves a bit. We can make stuff up, but that's not the point of this particular exercise, of course."

"All right. So we can't map the area. But we could walk into rooms, yes?"

"Sure, but I think maybe we, uh, shouldn't disturb the people in the cells," Lili pointed out. She really didn't want to see what Doug and Melissa might be doing, or if she was sleeping in his arms. Her old place. From about a billion years ago, or so it seemed.

Malcolm swallowed hard, "Yes. That would be discourteous. Best leave them some privacy. But we can go into the exercise area."

They did, and saw the Imvari, filling the tubes with paste. The tube would be filled at the end and then sealed shut with heat, then capped. No one could see or hear them.

"Not very exciting," Lili said, "Ready to go to the Enterprise_?"_

"Lead the way."

It was nearly instantaneous, and no transporter was needed. They were in the cafeteria first. It was deserted.

"I wonder if we could get a sandwich," Malcolm joked.

"Focus, focus!"

"Yes – silly of me. Uh, can I ask my small indulgence, though?"

"All right."

"On B deck."

"Well, we're going there anyway. That's where Joss and Yimar are."

"Yes. And my quarters are, as well." _  
_

=/\=

It was after, and Travis was about ready to call it a night. Jennifer said, "Think you could hoist me on your shoulders so I could get a good look at the panel?"

"Uh, I guess so. I am a little tired, though. From, you know," he said, trying to kiss her.

"Understood," she said, "But we – I need to do this. Hand me that tube, too."

"Okay. Just a sec. Okay. Step here."

He was a little shaky but managed to keep everything pretty steady. Jennifer looked up at the panel and found the same holes that Hoshi had seen. She uncapped the tube and tried it. It didn't fit. She turned it around. Now it was too wide a circumference, "Hmm, it doesn't match."

"I wouldn't expect that," said Travis, "Can you put something in to wedge it?"

She took a look at the uncapped tube. It was flattened pretty well, "I'm gonna try the end of the tube," she wedged it underneath, and it seemed to hold. She pulled back and turned sharply.

Travis almost dropped her when they both heard a pinging sound on the floor.

"Something fell!" he yelled.

"Get me down! We gotta find that."

=/\=

"_Oh. I do want to see my little duck, you know," Lili said, as Malcolm led her to his quarters._

"I know. I won't take long, I swear. Ah, here we are."

Inside, she looked at his desk, "Your PADD is really flashing. You must have all sorts of messages."

"Some other time," he said, "First, please, this," he sat down on the bed. She sat next to him.

She smiled at him a little shyly, "Now it's my turn to be awkward."

"You said that it's possible to kiss in these dreams."

"Absolutely. We could do a lot more, except there's just no time," she said, "Your quarters even smell a little like you do."

"Is that offensive?"

"No, no, not at all. It's wonderful. It's the Malcolm smell. It definitely should be bottled. I know I would buy a case."

"Now you're just flattering me," he paused, "Do go on," he smiled.

"The scent is one way you can tell it's a Calafan-style dream. You can use all of your senses in it."

"Oh, yes, you had said that," he said. He took her hand and his hand was shaking just a little bit.

"I've never been in this room before."

"I know," he leaned over and their mouths made soft contact. She smiled at him and he was encouraged, and he kissed her again. He put his hand on her waist and brought her closer. This time it was a full-blown French kiss that made them both gasp when it was done. Red-faced, he looked at her, "That was one major fantasy right there. To, to kiss you. In my room. On, on my bed."

"Just to kiss?" she breathed.

"A lot more than that," he said, kissing her again. Now it was painful.

"We have to, we have to focus," she said, "I, I need to tell Yimar what we found out today."

"I know. I don't want you to go. I'll, um, I may need to, uh ..."

"Understood."

"All I need to do is think of you," he said. "You had best take care of, of business."

"You as well," she said, getting up. _  
_

=/\=

"Well, I'll be damned," Travis said, looking it over. It was a little nut with a rounded end, silvery in color.

"I think there are six others," Jennifer said.

"Okay. Hmm. We can't take them all off because they'll notice if the grate is off. But we can probably take off all but one of them," he suggested.

"We'll need to store them somewhere. I don't know if they go through the rooms while we're in exercise, but they might. They're definitely in here long enough to take out the old tubes and replace them with newer ones."

"No pockets," he said, "You got anything?"

"No. I don't even have a bra, really."

"We could swallow them."

"They might be toxic," she said.

"Bring it with you tomorrow, to exercise. Maybe one of the other species can help."

"Travis, I think this might work."

"Well, the panel looks big enough. Maybe the crawl space is wide enough for you to go through. But where would you go when you were done?"

"I dunno. And I'd have to come back here for you."

"Even though you're furious with me most of the time?"

"You're not trying to mess me up," she said, "I may have a lotta issues right now but I think you're not deliberately trying to mess me up."

=/\=

_Lili got into the quarters that Yimar and Joss were sharing._

"I thought you were bringing a passenger," Yimar said.

"Uh, too confusing."

"Any new info?"

"Yes. It looks like the ship is heading to the edge of the Solar System, and then out of the galaxy entirely."

"That's T'Pol's idea as well."

"Ears!" Joss added.

"Yes, she has interesting ears," Lili said, "But be polite, Joss. Maybe don't point that out to her." 

20

"Ohh. Now that was worth the wait."

"Sorry I teased you earlier."

_Kick Kick.  
_  
"It's all right. I've been teased before," he said.

"Well, I just don't want to be cruel of course."

"You could never be cruel," he said, "The simultaneous, uh, thing. When we're all told the facts of life, I don't imagine anyone's actually told the mechanics of _that_."

"Probably not," she allowed, "Even the number makes me laugh."

"Me too, a little. I am forty-six years old and I still chuckle a bit when I hear it."

"Does it ever end up as a part of coordinates or anything?"

"Absolutely. And I'll be sitting there at Tactical and minding my own business. The Captain will oh so officially state we're going to some system or another and there's that number, right in the midst of the coordinates. Hoshi blushes, Travis smiles to himself a little and I think T'Pol wonders what the devil it is we're all so amused by," Malcolm said.

"It _is_ fun, though," Lili said, "We should have some sort of a name for it," Not _doing math_. That was what she and Doug called the act. It didn't seem right to use the same terminology.

"Hmm. How 'bout _a great number_?"

"Huh?"

"Yes. I have met _a great number_ of Vulcans in my life. I enjoy _a great number_ of books."

"I've cooked _a great number_ of meals," she replied, smiling.

"Yes, precisely. Maybe don't tell me how many involved sausage, all right?"

"Long as you don't tell me about how many of yours involved oysters."

=/\=

"Let's dance again," she suggested.

"Dance? I thought that you said that was a bad idea, Hoshi."

"Well, maybe I've changed my mind," she said, getting up. She held out her arms.

"'Course if we dance it might turn into something else."

"I am kinda counting on that, Tripp."

"Oh. Well, ahem," he began again.

_ "Longing for you all the while, More and more;  
Longing for the sunny smile, I adore;  
Birds are singing far and near, Roses blooming ev'rywhere  
You, alone, my heart can cheer; You, just you."_ _  
_  
"And now for the big finish!" she exclaimed.

_"Let me call you Sweetheart, I'm in love with you."  
_  
There was no more singing, just kissing, and it would have become a lot more than that but it was time for exercise.

=/\=

"Quickly, before they come back, I should tell you what I did after you left my quarters," Malcolm said.

"Uh, I have an idea," Lili said, smiling at him and glancing down briefly.

_Kick.  
_  
"Well, yes, that. 'Twould have been a bit painful otherwise. But after that – I went to the Captain's Ready Room."

"Oh?"

"I saw T'Pol. I suspect she's not sleeping much. She was sitting at Archer's desk, head down, sleeping. There was a PADD next to her, and I remembered you can type on them in these dreams. So I wrote a letter."

"And?"

"I wanted her to know that we may be leaving the galaxy soon. I think it's becoming more urgent. Any attempts will need to be made soon."

"Agreed. I get the feeling that we wouldn't be able to make even Calafan-type contact if we were to depart the galaxy. I want to see my little duck again."

"I know," he said. As for going back to the rest of it, he knew what he felt.

=/\=

Dayah found Lili, "I should tell you, I'm in production again," she said.

"Oh. Should I congratulate you?" Lili asked.

"A bit. It's mixed, kind of bittersweet. Now I have a bond with Emmiz but that also means the clock is ticking. Ten months' gestation, then two or three with our infant and then I'm back to one of the others."

"Well, I hope you can make the most of the time," Lili said. There wasn't anything else to say.

=/\=

The remainder of exercise passed by fairly uneventfully. At the showers, Jennifer showed off her treasure.

"Hmmm. How are we gonna keep that thing secret?" Hoshi asked.

"And the others?" Deb added, "Five of us, seven fasteners apiece – we'd be pulling off thirty of them and would have to find a home for them."

"No," Lili said, "the four of you, only. I can't get onto Malcolm's shoulders. I'm too heavy, and if he dropped me it could hurt my baby. As for the other way, I wouldn't be able to lift him without hurting the baby, too."

"All right, so there are only going to be twenty-four at most that we have to hide," Melissa said.

"I think swallowing them is out of the question," Hoshi said.

"Okay, hmm, how 'bout this?" Deb asked, sticking the fastener into her cleavage. It fell right through, "Hmm, I wish I wasn't so flat-chested," she complained.

"No, I don't think it's that. I tried to do it, too," Jennifer said, "But, see?" She demonstrated, "It's because there's no bra there."

"I have a bra," Lili said, "Well, it's kind of a shelf. But the front of the dress is more like a supportive stretchy material. It makes it a little easier to get around."

"Then you try it," Hoshi said.

"Here goes nothing," Lili dropped the fastener in and let it settle. Then she walked around and shook herself a bit.

"Anything?" Melissa asked.

Lili fished it out, "Still here. Now, I can't promise that I can fit in all twenty-four without giving myself some problems. But I should be able to handle some of them. At least let me do this, as we can't do the other part of things."

"You'll have to keep track of the numbers – we all need to," Hoshi said.

"Yes," Lili said, "I can keep track of the overall figure, but you'll have to know your own individual ones. So Jennifer has one out, everyone else has none out, as of today."

"Anybody have an idea of where we would be going, assuming we can get into the vents and go somewhere?" Deb asked.

"To wherever there's Communications, and contact the _Enterprise_," Hoshi said.

"Or to where the cloaking mechanism is," Jennifer added.

"Anyone got an idea of how we'll be able to do this while or after we're being gassed?" Melissa asked.

"It's really hard to resist," Deb said, stating the obvious for them all.

"We'll think of something," Lili said, "Maybe wait until afterwards."

"In the meantime, though, let's get those fasteners off. And maybe see if we can get some of the other species to help us," Hoshi said, just as the door slid open.

Lili dropped the fastener back into its hiding place and walked out compliantly – the most obedient prisoner the Imvari had ever seen.

=/\=

This time was a little bit different. They were placed back into their cells but the lights stayed up. Quellata got into the hallway in between, "I have an announcement!"

"Wonder what that's about," Jonathan said, standing next to Deb. Across from them – they had never seen inside that cell – was a Klingon couple. The woman was already showing a bit.

"Slime molds, Denebian slime devils, blood worms, whatever you'd like to be called – I have some news. We have completed the collection phase of the process! That is to say, we've got all eighty species that we wanted. We have our supplies and we're ready to depart."

"Depart?" Jonathan asked, "To where?"

"The nondisclosure has been lifted," she said, "So I can answer that. The Zetal – my clients – they don't reside in this galaxy. So we'll be out of here in perhaps two weeks. We'll get a few supplies and then be off."

"What's the purpose of all this breeding?" asked Serin, the Andorian.

"Replacements. It is, as you can imagine, a rather long journey. We might lose some stock. So we need some extras, and we'll be needing more when we reach our destination. And then you – and your descendants – will be ready for your real purpose."

"What's that?" a Vulcan asked.

"War games. My clients love them – and on a grand scale. So this unit will get its own ship to fight with one of the other units, and so it goes. All in what you call a Round Robin-style tournament. There are – I know you're about to ask this – sixteen units."

"I bet they won't give us ships fast enough to get back," Tripp said quietly to Hoshi.

"Will we be able to see the children?" Lili asked.

"Only when replacements are necessary. Don't want to deplete the stock all at once, you know," Quellata said, "Enough questions. There now, don't you slime molds all feel more informed?"

21

"So you think this will work, Deb?"

"Yep. Hoshi showed me. The motion is, uh, you don't wanna know what it reminds me of."

"I'm sure I don't. Now, you've got the flattened tube and its cap?" he said, enlacing his fingers.

"Yes. Now, don't let me fall."

"'Course not," Jonathan said, "Don't wanna see those pretty pecan brown eyes cry."

She smiled to herself. That was still a rush. She pushed down and twisted, and then pulled, just as Hoshi had demonstrated. Sure enough, there was a pinging sound as a fastener hit the floor.

"Great!" he said, "Can you get a second one?"

"Sure," she said, but she was starting to hear a hissing sound. She worked quickly and there was another ping, "Okay, now let me down."

"Why?"

"'Cause we're about to be interrupted."

"Oh," he let her down easily, "You know, once we've gotten back to the _Enterprise_, we can't ..."

"I know," she said, looking down, "Just let me believe a little longer. It gives me hope, Jonathan."

"All right," he said, kissing her before the fuchsia gas arrived, "You've made this easier for me, too."

=/\=

"Doug, a little to the right. _Slowly_."

"Yep, I'm on it," he held her ankles as he took a small step over, "Better?"

"Yeah," Melissa worked, "Whaddaya think you'll do when we get outta here?"

"I dunno. Go back to, uh, hmm, maybe going back isn't in the cards."

"Well, there's the war. Weren't you an army guy?"

"Melissa, I was a mercenary in my twenties."

"Well, so, you're still ... skilled," she said.

_Ping._ _  
_  
"Huh. Combat? Lili would never let –"

"Let you what?"

"I got a little kid at home. There's gonna be another," he said, "I can't go running off to a war and get something blown off or die."

"Probably not. Just, yanno, it seems a shame to waste your skills."

"I love my children," he said, "I'm proud to take care of them," he let her down as they could both hear the hissing.

"I know," she said, "But you're not satisfied."

=/\=

Malcolm and Lili sat down on the mattress. Dinner finished, they got to talking.

"So I was wondering if I could ask you an intimate question."

"Of course. Like you had said, we are already intimate," he kissed her.

"Only if you want to tell me. About your first time? I'll tell you my story, of course."

"Of course," he smiled, "There's not much to tell. I was sixteen."

"_Sixteen_? I waited until I was eighteen."

"Well, the opportunity kind of, uh, presented itself. See, my family lives in Malaysia."

"I would never have guessed that."

"It's true. But I was sent back to the Mother Country for my education. I went to the Lancaster Boys' School in Leicester."

"Sounds very high class."

"I got a classical education. You know, proper books like Plato and James Joyce and all," he said, "But, as you can tell from the name, it was all-male. So girls were a subject of great mystery and fascination. Much like you are, now," They kissed again.

"I'm an open book. Very little mystery here," Lili said.

"Oh, there are definitely mysteries," he smiled at her, "So, there was this mixer with the Leicester High School for Girls. And I met this girl, Robin McKenzie."

"McKenzie? Any relation to Aidan?"

"No, he's M-A-C, she's M-C. But she _is _related to someone you have met. Julie McKenzie, the head of the MACOs. She was, when Jay Hayes passed, he told me she should be promoted to carry on what he'd been doing."

"You were there, that's right."

"Yes, I was. Jay was quite the hero," Malcolm said, "Shall I go on?"

"Of course. I wanna hear about your sixteen-year-old moves."

He laughed a little, "I had none. We went to a music room in my school. I was terrified that anyone would find out. So it was all rather quick and jolting."

"Poor Robin."

"Oh, well, I, uh, I did notice that things were not so wonderful for her. Helped her out a bit."

She kissed him, "Can I ask, how it ended with Robin?"

"She, uh, I wrote to her a few times afterwards. Gushy teenaged mash notes, they were. She never wrote back, and then that was it."

"Did that bother you?"

"A bit, for a while. But not too much. I recovered pretty quickly. It wasn't like, well, like this is going to be like."

They were both quiet.

_Kick Kick Kick Kick.  
_  
"Oh Malcolm."

"It's going to end. One way or, or another. And if we never leave here, the way it'll happen is, they'll make us sleep. They'll take our, our child," he quickly put his hand on her belly and, for just a second, could believe that Pete was his, "And put us into, into different cells. And you'll be with Travis, perhaps. Or with Tripp, my, my best friend. Or you'll be the Captain's woman."

"And you'll be with Hoshi, maybe. Or Deb. Or poor Jennifer. Or, or Melissa."

"And the only time I'll see you will be when we're all walking 'round. And the only way I'll be able to communicate with you at all will be to, to wave slightly, and hope to catch your eye. And to hope that Doug doesn't see that, because he'll be trying to do that as well. Perhaps he and I will bond over that – we'll have it in common suddenly."

"But we'll escape, right?" Lili asked.

"And, and if we do, it'll end, but in a different way, Lili," he said slowly. It was getting harder and harder to speak, "You will, you'll go back to Doug."

"I don't know."

"You _will_. You will not make your children go through a divorce. You will try to reassemble your lives. You'll put your, your puzzle back."

"I –"

"Lili-Flower, Phlox once said our, our human mating rituals, he said they're like these complicated minuets. Well, that's a dance that's only meant for, for two. I can't. I can't just, just cut in."

"But – "

"It's not a complicated group dance like his species has. It's for two. You're in a _marriage_."

"I know. But, this is a puzzle, you like puzzles, there's a way to fit these pieces together and reconfigure them, isn't there? _Isn't there_?" she asked, voice going up a few notes.

_Kick kick kick kick kick Kick Kick Kick.  
_  
He said, "No, it's a marriage. And by definition there are only two pieces, and they only fit together in one way."

_Kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick Kick Kick Kick.__  
_  
"Dammit, Petey! Lay off once in a while. _Please, oh please, just lay off_."

His hand on her belly wasn't helping like it usually did. She gasped a little. It _hurt_.

He just looked at her, lost.

_**KICK.  
**_**  
**"Unh," Tears sprang straight out of her eyes. She had no control over that whatsoever.

When she began to sob, so did he. They got closer and lay on their sides. They just held each other. The gas came and went. It didn't matter. They didn't do anything but lie there and sob.

Sleep, for a moment, came as a blessing.

=/\=

"_Lili, are you all right?" It was Yimar, holding Joss in the little bed._

"I don't know," she said softly. Her hand was being held. She looked to her side, and he was there.

"Unka!" Joss cried out. He squirmed out of Yimar's arms and hugged Malcolm's leg, "Mackum."

"L's are hard letters," Yimar explained.

"I, I don't think I can do this tonight," Lili said.

"It's okay," Yimar said. She shrugged. She'd seen nighttime people before. It didn't faze her, "But T'Pol said she wants you all to try to figure out the size of the ship if you can. Pace out rooms if you can do that."

"Oh. We can do that," she said mechanically.

"Yimar, they are sending us – and seventy-nine other species – out to another galaxy," Malcolm said, "They want us to play war games of some sort."

"Huh," Yimar said, "Oh, there's also a letter on Doug's PADD. It's from someone named Laura Hayes. Should I read it?"

"No. Give him his, his privacy," Lili said, "We should, we should go. I can't handle this right now."

"'Ommy sad?"

"Yes. Mommy's very sad."

"Daddy sad?"

"Probably."  


=/\=

They awoke. They'd been sleeping for maybe five minutes, tops.

He whispered in her ear, "I, there are so many things I've wanted to say to you. Not just here, but for the past two years, Lili-Flower. And now I just can't."

_Kick Kick.  
_  
"Maybe there's a way. There _has_ to be one," she said, voice cracking.

"I'm so very, very afraid that there's not," he said, and they both began sobbing again. Wet shoulders, wet noses, wet mouths, drenched eyes. Hands clutched together.

When morning came, they didn't get up to take their food, and didn't get up when the guards came in to collect them for exercise.

The only way the guards could get them apart was to shock them both, repeatedly. They concentrated on Lili's legs – no one wanted to be responsible for damaged or missing stock – but Malcolm got the full brunt of their efforts. When they were finally broken apart, and finally got Lili separated out for exercise, the other four women just stared. Lili looked haggard and exhausted, and was shaking a little.

Only one person reached out to hug her and try to make her feel just a tiny bit better, as the others were just in shock.

_Melissa. _

24


	8. Chapters 2224

22

It was – what? – a week? Ten days? Two weeks? Something like that.

It was hard to keep track of the days and nights as there were no windows. But they both needed to recover from all of that shocking. So each night, they would just lie together, and the gas had little effect or, if it did, they did nothing. They just needed to rest and recover. Perhaps it was a punishment, for the vet was never called. Or maybe he was busy elsewhere.

But there came a day when Lili had twenty-three fasteners to keep track of. One more - but that could be removed quickly, of course. That one was Hoshi's. Otherwise, everyone had but one fastener holding up the vent grating. Just one. They all reported that the vents were wobbly. So it was decided – the big push would come that night.

The women gathered together as they dried off.

"This is it. Everybody know what to do?" Hoshi asked.

"Yep. Hoist up, remove the last fastener and away we go," Jennifer replied.

"Still not sure about the gas, though. I mean, if we wait until afterwards, um, he's mainly gonna wanna sleep. And so will I," Deb explained.

"Sure," Melissa said, "It's physically taxing."

"That's one way to put it," Hoshi said, "We need some way to either ignore the gas or, um, do what we need to without exhausting ourselves or the guys."

"Might I suggest," Lili said, "something less conventional?"

"You talking about what I think you're talking about?" Deb asked.

"I probably am. Think of yourself as being, erm, back in High School. Satisfaction without actually going all the way, to borrow a quaint phrase," Lili said.

"I can do that," Hoshi said.

Jennifer stared blankly. She was not on board with that decision, "Uh, is there any way we can, uh, do something else?"

"Suit yourself," Deb said, "But, really, you need for Travis to be able to focus. And you've got to focus, as well. And not be so sleepy."

"You'll be fine," Hoshi said.

"Wait, wait, what?" Melissa asked, "I never did that before."

"_Never_?" Deb asked, incredulous.

"Um, no," Melissa said quietly, "Can't anybody, uh, help me with this?"

Everyone backed away and pretended to be far more interested in something else. Finally, Lili spoke, "All I can tell you is, think positively."

"Uh, okay, I guess I got that. And, that's kinda over the top. I shouldn't have asked. And you shouldn't have told me, I think," Melissa said to Lili.

"It's okay," her voice dropped several decibels and Melissa had to strain to hear her, "He doesn't like how I do that."

"Oh. I would have thought it would be, I dunno, perfect. He seems to think everything else about being with you was."

Lili smiled tightly, "That's very kind of you to say, but I know Doug, and he doesn't open up much. Do you, uh, do you love him?"

Melissa turned pale, "I, uh, I..."

"He's very lovable. I would, I think, understand if you, if you did."

"I _like_ him," Melissa finally said.

"I don't hate you," Lili said, "You should know that."

=/\=

Back in their cell, Deb stared up at the ceiling. The gas had not yet started. It was now or never.

"C'mere," Jonathan said.

"Okay. Let me, uh, I hope you don't think I'm, uh, I'm some sort of, uh bad woman for what I'm about to propose."

"Oh? Something different? Things have been good so far."

She smiled at that. It was great to hear it, "Thanks. But, uh, a little variety. What do you think of –?"

=/\=

Tripp and Hoshi sat together, "Can I interest you in, um, a little?" she whispered in his ear.

"You silly gal! Why can't you say that out loud?"

"I just, I dunno. It's weird to broach it as a subject."

"Well, broach away."

=/\=

Jennifer didn't ask. She didn't want Travis to do anything back to her. She just wanted it to be over with, so she got right down to it.

=/\=

Lili smiled a little to herself.

"What's funny?" Malcolm asked.

"I, uh, know how everyone else is trying to, um, get past the gas without getting too tired afterwards."

"Hmm. Is it some strange Orion slave girl type of techniques?"

"Something like that. Uh, noncoital, um, contact."

"Lots of great numbers, eh?"

"Yes. And a lot of massages that suddenly turned South, I think."

"Ah. When you rubbed my back a month ago, a few weeks ago, whatever it was, I confess I did hope that you might take a bit of a detour, although, at the time, I was thoroughly unsure of your willingness. If there was any, at all."

"There's _definitely_ willingness," Lili said.

"And on my end as well, of course," he said. He put his hand on her chin and moved her mouth to his.

"How are you feeling?"

"Much better now. I suppose it takes a while to recover from being thunderstruck. In, uh, in one way or, or another."

She looked at him intently.

"Something wrong?" he asked, "Have I got, uh, something 'round the side of my, of my mouth, or something?"

"No. I just, I _know_."

"You _know_? What is it that you know, Lili-Flower?"

"I definitely do. I _know_," she said, "I know that I, that _I love you."_

=/\=

"Um, I'm really bad at asking for what I want."

"Well, I won't, uh, judge you, Melissa."

"I know. It's just odd, 'cause I can talk to my girl about whatever and it's easy. Not as easy sometimes, with you."

"Well, can I make it any easier? What are you, uh, trying to, um, do?"

She touched him tentatively.

"Oh," he said, "Here, like this, lemme show you."

=/\=

"No, no, you don't. You love Doug."

"I, I do. But I also know that I love you."

"What? I mean, I would certainly want to hear that, and feel that it's, that it's true. But you don't love me. It is him who you truly love."

"Why does it have to be one or the other? Why is that the case?"

"Because it just _is_."

"But _why_? Something just existing, just being, seems to be a damned foolhardy reason for something."

"Still. You, you're confused, Lili-Fl – , uh, Lili. And I, on my part, I haven't helped things one bit by calling you by a pet name and all. You are in love with _him_. Not with, with me."

"Don't tell me my feelings, Malcolm," she said, "I know them. I know them. Like I am finding that I know you – how you wake up on a hair trigger, how you flex when you think I'm not looking – but I think you secretly hope I am. How you make silly jokes. How you sneeze, even. How you kiss, how you walk, how you make love."

"It's not, it can't be, it's not the same as with your husband," he protested, but he didn't really want to.

"No, it's not. And it should not be. You're different people, after all," she explained, "I won't enumerate the differences, but they are definitely there. And that's okay," she ran her fingers along the back of his scalp, and it made him shudder just a tiny bit with excitement, "It's better that there are differences."

"There's no, there's no precedent for this."

"Sure there is. You forget I am part-French. And forever, and probably still, there would be, there would be men with a wife and a mistress. And the wife would have the marriage, and the home and the children."

"And the respectability."

"Somewhat. But the mistress also had her spot and she also got her due. Sometimes she would bear a child as well, sometimes not. And when the man died, the wife would be gracious and the mistress could go to the funeral, too. She'd sit in the back, in some sort of wickedly inappropriate outfit, perhaps in fire engine red, and cry as much as the wife would."

"I, I can't be called a mistress. The genders are reversed and it's just not manly," he said, smiling just a tiny bit. Hmm. He had no idea if he liked the idea, or if it would work at all. But at least, someone else had blazed the trail already.

"I said – the male equivalent of mistress is _lover_."

"_Lover_. I do like that," he said.

"I love you," she said again.

"And, and I love you," he said, and the slow, quiet words suddenly came out in a rush, because they had been held back for so long. It was like a dam bursting, the words just tumbled out, "_I love you beyond all reason, beyond all hope, beyond all belief and beyond all faith_."

"My lover," she said softly, "Can I give you something?"

"_Me_? I should be showering you with presents and all I've got is this damned tube."

"I have something to give," she said. She slipped the cuff bracelet off her wrist, "Here."

"I'm not normally much for jewelry, at least not on my wrist. Never even wanted to own an old-fashioned watch," he smiled, "What an interesting piece this is. It's got the same kind of scrollwork that's tattooed on your arms."

"Yes; I think it's meant to be complementary to that somehow. And see where it's all faded and softened?"

"Yes," he said, "It's like hundreds of hands have touched it."

"Maybe thousands. It was – Yimar's mother is the High Priestess of the Calafans, or at least she was before she got really sick. And I think this went from the priestesses on down. I have no idea how old it is, but I'm sure their culture is a few thousand years old. Maybe it's as old as all that."

"A cultural artifact. I shouldn't own it, then," he said.

"Yes, you _should_. It was given to me, to do what I wanted. And I choose to give it to you."

"I'll, I should hide it in my sleeve. Otherwise I think Doug will be upset," Malcolm said. He adjusted his shirt, "There, does that work?"

"Wait, pull this down just a touch. There."

"Thank you. I don't know what tomorrow will bring. If we'll be together at all. Or perhaps we'll enrage our captors so much that they'll slaughter us all."

"That's not outside the realm of possibility," Lili allowed.

"And I know that a big piece of your heart is not with me. And I think I'm all right with that. There is no perfection. But there is something. Something very rare and good."

They kissed.

"Rare and good and botanical," Lili said.

"Botanical?"

"Yes. I'm the lily flower and you are the reed."

"To be true, but the flower's the exciting part. The reed's just an ordin'ry thing. Nothing special or worthwhile."

"Don't say that! The flower _needs _the reed. Otherwise it's got no nourishment, no support and is just a bunch of petals falling on the ground. The flower can't live without the reed."

"Can't?"

"Can't," she said, "Not anymore."

"A puzzle, right?"

"Right."

"Pieces need to be arranged somehow. Rotated, perhaps. No box or guide to look at, though."

"No guides."

"A fit, though," he said.

"Yes. They – somehow – have _got_ to fit."

"Lover, eh?"

"Yes. _Lover_."

=/\=

They didn't hear gentle pinging sounds in the other four cells, or the louder sounds of grates being dropped or thrown to the floor.

23

"Hey, you almost hit me when you dropped that!"

"Oh, sorry, Travis. Really, I'm sorry. Can you lift me a little higher? I can hold the lip here and hoist myself, but a little help would be, uh, helpful," Jennifer said.

He hoisted. She grabbed and pulled herself up. Suddenly, she was in the vent.

=/\=

Similar conversations went on in three other cells. More – actually.

=/\=

"Unh!" Melissa managed to get herself into the vent. She sneezed.

"Bless you!" yelled Doug, looking up, "You all in?"

"Yeah. It's dusty in here. And it's not very high. I have to crawl like a snake."

"Well, think positively," he said, "I'll be here if you need to turn around."

_Think positively_. Ha. If he only knew the context when she'd last been told to do _that_.

=/\=

They crawled. And were joined by some others, for the other species in their unit knew about the attempt, knew they were leaving the galaxy, and wanted in.

They wanted to see their families again, and return to their old lives, if they could. Or maybe they were tired of endless couplings with mates who could sometimes leave a lot to be desired. Or perhaps they just wanted a change of pace. Three male Xindi, including Emmiz, joined them. A female Andorian – Leveqa. One Klingon female, the slightest of them. None of the others could fit into the vent. Two female Vulcans and one male also joined the ranks.

Hoshi was farthest along and so she ended up leading the way. There really wasn't much of an indication as to where to go. It's not like there was just some big arrow painted inside the vent, so she followed sounds of hydraulics.

Behind her, the others struggled with getting past the openings. Every vent opening was wide enough to go all the way from side to side, so there was nowhere to get purchase. You had to crawl over it, and when you were more than halfway beyond it, your feet would flop down and you'd end up kicking them to move along. Deb almost lost it when she felt a hand on her foot while she was doing that. She looked down through the opened vent. It was a Klingon, greybearded, "Steady," he said, "I won't let you fall, human."

"Uh, thanks," she muttered, her heart finding its way back into her chest.

They crawled on.

=/\=

_Kick Kick Kick Kick.  
_  
"I'm so afraid. For them – for us. I know this is the right thing to do but it's still scary," Lili said, shuddering a little.

"I'm here," Malcolm said, arm around her shoulders, "I wish I could wish the fear away. Or, better, the danger itself. I do feel a bit left out, like I should be doing something."

"You're doing plenty right now," she kissed him, "And I think there'll be an opportunity for you to, to be a hero. Just, I hope, not too much of one. Not like Jay Hayes."

He smiled a little, "Without Jay's outcome, most definitely. I am finally with you. I don't wish for this to be the first and last day of that, my love."

That word. It charged the air. Even the baby seemed to know, for the kicking changed tempo just a little.

Lili put Malcolm's hand on her belly, "Feel this."

He smiled broadly at her, "It's life itself. I don't think we're about to die. Despite my worries – and I have plenty of those – I think we are going to live."

"I hope you're right."

=/\=

There was a hissing sound, "Okay, we were expecting this," Hoshi called to everyone behind her, "Lie as flat as you can and if you're near an opening, breathe that air for a while."

Emmiz was right over a cell where there was just a Vulcan woman, "My apologies!" he called down, "The gas is coming and I hope I will be civil to you."

"Join me in meditation," she replied.

"Does that really work?"

"No."

But it was all they had.

=/\=

The hissing stopped. Hoshi felt lightheaded but not bad.

And not really that stimulated, either. Huh?

"I don't seem to be affected. I guess it affects you if you have a partner," she called back, "Is anyone else feeling the same?"

"It might need to be a partner of the same species," Melissa said, "Let's just say I'm stuck between a male and a female Vulcan. You do the math."

"Let's keep moving," said the Klingon woman, "Time is short."

"Try to keep it together," Jennifer said to the Vulcan woman in front of her.

"I am maintaining control," she said, but her voice was a bit shaky.

"It's not too far," Jennifer said, although she really had no idea.

=/\=

They continued on. There was a bend in the duct work. Hoshi followed it. Suddenly, it dropped, but it also widened considerably. She saw a light, and there was a mesh grating.

She got closer, and could see out. It was some sort of supply room. Tubes, tube caps and clothing were stacked up. Big bags of white paste were shoved into cubby holes. No one seemed to be on guard.

She managed to turn herself around and get her bare feet to face the grate. She tried to kick it open, but didn't have enough strength. The Klingon woman got there next. Together, they were able to get it open.

Everyone followed them in and looked around. There was a door, of course, but it would help to know where they were in the holding center.

Emmiz finally looked at the side of the door, "Look, it's, if you move your head the right way and get the light to hit it at the right angle, you can see a picture."

Leveqa looked, too, "Yes. It might be a word, maybe."

Hoshi checked, "Looks like a pictogram. Not really a language – maybe the Imvari aren't literate in the Witannen language. I don't know. This seems to mean, hmm, I'm guessing here. Main hall?"

"There are similar graphics over the cubby holes," same one of the Vulcans, "See? Here, and here. And where the clothing is, as well."

"That might mean sizes," Melissa said, "Or maybe maternity versus non."

"Yes," Deb said, "I think these are maternity. They look like Lili's dress, and the graphic is, it's a circle with a smaller circle in it."

"Yes," Leveqa said, "It must mean mother and baby."

"The symbols over the food stores could mean anything from which goes with which species to expiration dates or something," a Vulcan said.

"Let's get out of this room," Jennifer said, "It can't help us that much," she pushed on the panel that might have said main hall. The door slid open, almost completely silently.

They departed, and crept down a hall. It was different from the hall on their floor. There didn't seem to be any cells or exercise areas. The rooms were dark, and all had panels on the side.

"Look," Hoshi said, "Let's try this one," The panel's pictogram was of a triangle and a circle.

It ended up being a place with more stacked tubes and tube caps, and bags of paste, "So that one means food storage."

"The other one, the one we came out of?" Emmiz said, "I looked at its symbol when we were out of it and in the hallway, and it had the circle and the triangle, but also a rectangle. So maybe that one was food and clothing storage."

"Your guess is as good as mine," Hoshi said.

They came to a room with a door panel that depicted a semi-circle that was divided in several places.

"Table? Cafeteria?" asked Leveqa.

"Bed?" asked the Klingon woman.

"No," Melissa said, "Window. Or maybe screen. I bet this is Navigation."

"Only one way to find out," Deb said, "I'll go first."

"You and I," said the Klingon woman, "It is better as a team."

=/\=

"How are you feeling?" Lili asked.

"Wonderful. I do believe I have completely recovered from the shocking," he said. They lay next to each other and he kissed her hand.

"Good. I was worried, you know."

"I know. Seems a bit unfair, them doing all the work while you and I are here and loving each other."

"Well," she smiled, "blame me. I just wanted you. And I do that a lot."

=/\=

It was, indeed, Navigation. Or, rather, more like a generalized control room.

It being the middle of the night, the room was sparsely populated. And there were no Imvari – just unarmed, yawning Witannen on the night shift.

They were as surprised to see the prisoners as the prisoners were to see them.

The Vulcans and the Klingon woman were best at getting them subdued. Deb rummaged around and found one of the shocking sticks, "I am guessing you didn't think you'd be needing this," she said, pointing it at them.

"I don't suppose you'll tell us how to decloak this ship," Jennifer said, looking around at the odd controls on a semi-circular console that matched the crude pictograph on the door.

The Witannen were silent.

"Look," Melissa said, pointing at the view screen, "I could swear that was the Kuiper Belt."

"Maybe it is," Emmiz said, "That is close to your home world, yes?"

"Very. Too close," Hoshi said, "Okay, hmm. The red controls might be alarms."

"Are they?" yelled Deb, brandishing the stick.

"Try one and see," said one of the Witannen.

"We can figure this out," Hoshi said, "Wide rectangle. Panel? Room?"

"Door," said Leveqa, "Because a thinner rectangle meant clothing."

"So, one door. Probably the door to this room. Okay. Four triangles."

"Navigation," said Emmiz, "Right?"

"Maybe," Melissa allowed, "Or it could be torpedoes."

"Wide rectangle, with a lot of little circles in it," one of the Vulcans said, "Logic would dictate – if a wide rectangle is a door, and the circles are people, then it's the doors to the cells."

"Or to the room with the children," Jennifer said.

"Stacked wide rectangles," said the Vulcan man, "If one is a door, then this may control all of the doors."

"Parallelogram," said the Klingon woman, "With one edge folded over."

"I know what that is!" Melissa said, "It's the cloak."

"Only one way to find out," Leveqa said, "Start pressing."

"Parallelogram," Jennifer said, and pressed.

"Stacked wide rectangles," said Emmiz, and pressed.

"Four arrows," Melissa said, and pressed.

=/\=

There was a sound of hydraulics.

Six human heads whipped around as one.

The doors were opening.

=/\=

"Wide rectangle with circles," said the Vulcan man. He pressed.

Even the door to the control room opened. The Witannen tried to leave, but Deb managed to keep them there.

The ship shuddered and the image of the Kuiper belt shimmered just a tiny bit.

"I think we're decloaking," Melissa said. She rummaged around underneath the console, "Found it," It was a joystick. Somehow, pressing one of the buttons – perhaps the one with the four arrows, had opened up the bottom of the console. She started to move it over to the right. The ship moved as she steered, "Holy cannoli. We have helm control."

=/\=

The next several minutes were chaotic.

The Imvari weren't around – they had been in the exercise area, refilling tubes. Before they could run out into the hallways, the remaining prisoners were out.

"We'll go that way," Jonathan pointed, "Past exercise. There's a light past there. It matches the direction Deb went in."

"I love you!" Malcolm called out, following.

"Be careful!" Lili called back.

_Kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick__  
_  
Doug looked back for a second, "Miss you!" was all he yelled, and then he followed.

=/\=

The nine pregnant women were left, plus there was an Andorian woman holding a small infant.

"Let's stay together, sisters," Dayah said.

There were three Xindi, including her. There were three Vulcans, and two Andorians, not including the new mother with her daughter. And Lili.

"I don't think they will harm us," said one of the Vulcans, "We are in production. It would not be logical to damage the stock."

"What's that buzzing sound?" asked one of the Andorians, antennae waving.

"That's not buzzing," Lili said, "It's coming from far away," she pointed, away from where the men had gone off to, "It sounds like babies crying. Lots of them."

24

"Mr. MacKenzie!" T'Pol called out.

"Yes, I see it," Aidan replied, "Hull plating is polarized."

"Helm about," she said to Chris Harris.

"Yes, Commander."

=/\=

Jonathan could've sworn there were only maybe twenty-five or thirty people with him, but suddenly there were more. All of the doors had opened, and there were species coming in from other units on the floor. He could see Xyrillians, Takret, Tellarites, Tandarins, Calafans, Gorn, and a lot of others that he didn't recognize, both male and female – and some pregnant. There was no time to get acquainted.

They were passing the exercise area, and there were sounds. It would make sense to subdue the guards somehow.

"We'll split up!" he called out, "Take out the guards and get armed. Other half will follow where the women went. There – uh, Hayes, take half to follow the women. Malcolm, take out the guards."

"Aye, Captain," Doug said, even though he was no longer working for Starfleet and no longer called himself Hayes. A small quibble in the heat of it all, "Quick march!"

They disappeared down the corridor, following a light. Jonathan went with that group.

=/\=

Lili and the other pregnant women rushed to the sound of the crying. There was a room with an opened door – all of the doors were opened – and an image of a rectangle with a lot of small circles in it.

The crying was loud, in all manner of octaves and rhythms.

They rushed in. The room was not guarded. There was just one Witannen woman, frantic, "You woke them all up from stasis!" she yelled. She was at her wit's end.

_Kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick  
_  
Dayah blanched, "There must be over a hundred in there."

"I think we all have an idea of what to do," said one of the Vulcan women, "The logical act is to quiet them."

There were rows and rows of what could have charitably been described as bassinets but were really more like tiny versions of their own meager beds, but with rails. And most of them contained a wailing infant of one species or another. Lili didn't know most of the species, but that wasn't exactly her area of expertise. One child nearby had what looked like a spoon on his forehead. Another was a lot like a human but had a horizontally ridged nose. Another had spots on her neck. She grabbed the first one she saw, which she figured was probably Xyrillian. She had never seen a Xyrillian infant before. It was so tiny, barely bigger than the palm of her hand. She could pick up two at a time, and did so, "Shh," she said, "Uh, Auntie Lili is here. Shh."

And she saw them – Andorian holding Gorn, Vulcan holding Tellarite, Xindi holding Nausicaan, Tandarin holding Calafan. She counted, when she got a chance, and saw that there were nineteen separate species of infant. Just about one-quarter of the eighty species the Witannen were collecting, so there had to be a total of four floors of prisoners. The only species missing, of course, was human. Not all of the infants could be comforted. They were swaddled, in a way, but there were no fresh diapers. Wet children, unfortunately, had to stay wet. And there was nothing to feed them with. Clearly, no one was expecting them to be awakened anywhere near that day. But they were awake all right.

All of the women rocked and cooed and shushed and sang and smiled at faces that did not match to their own. They were mothers. They knew just what to do.

=/\=

Malcolm's team got in quickly. The ranks swelled – they were little more than an angry mob. They stormed into the exercise area. The Imvari were ready for them, but there were just too many of them.

Pale hands smacked dark faces, long feet kicked midsections. The shocking sticks, with some effort, began to change hands.

A green-skinned Orion handed him a stick, "I don't need it!" the Orion said, "I'd rather beat them with my bare hands."

The riot continued and Malcolm wondered how he'd get them to settle down. But he had to admit, getting the Imvari back was something he had to let everyone do.

=/\=

Doug's team made it to the light. There was an alcove with a turbo lift. The sign on their wall was just a single pip, like the one-spot on a dice.

They crowded into the lift – about eighteen or so of them could get in at once, "Where to?" It was Travis's voice.

"What are the options?" yelled Doug.

"Uh, we're on one. And it goes up to four," The markings were just pips – one, two, three or four, "Plus the one below one is just a semi-circle."

"Try that one!"

He pressed. They went down.

=/\=

Quellata was not pleased. She threw the vet out of her bed.

"I thought you said the mix was going to keep them subdued!"

"It normally would," he replied, "We must have another telepathic species."

"Root them out! We'll have to trash that stock. Humans!" she seethed, banging a panel on the wall, but no one was answering communications hails.

=/\=

Hoshi kept looking at button after button. Finally, one looked like it might be useful. It was almost like an asterisk – a crude starburst, "Is this Communications?" she yelled to the Witannen.

They did not answer.

"Okay, I'll do it myself," she pressed. There was a crackling noise and a small panel slid out from underneath the console.

"Thanks so much for your help," she sneered back at the Witannen. She yelled into what may or may not have been a transmitter, "Calling the _Enterprise_! Or, or any vessels in the Kuiper Belt! This is the Witannen ship! We cannot slow down! Repeat. _We cannot slow down_!"

=/\=

"Commander, listen," Chip said. The crackling voice was unmistakably Hoshi's, although she was breaking up quite a bit.

"Ensign, go ahead," T'Pol replied.

"Hoshi, we got you," Chip said.

"Chandler, anyone ever tell you you're beautiful?" Hoshi replied, crackling, through the static.

"Not recently," he said, "Now, tell us the trouble again."

=/\=

They quick-marched it out of the lift and down a corridor. Imvari were coming, and they were a lot more evenly matched than the mob in the exercise area, but they didn't know that. They weren't armed, but the Imvari were.

The fighting began. Jonathan, Doug and Travis punched and kicked alongside Klingons and Gorn and Orions and Vulcans. Blood of several colors ran. The Imvari didn't hold back with the sticks.

The lift door opened again, and this time it was a part of Malcolm's mob. They rushed to the fighting and moved along the Imvari flank. The Imvari were far from immune to the shocking, and writhed as much as anyone else.

More sticks changed hands, and differently-shaped faces grimaced in pain and anger and many-colored hands grabbed and poked and hit and did whatever they could to subdue the Imvari.

Doug got himself a stick, and used it to back two Imvari up against a wall. He had to admit to himself, he had almost missed doing this kind of thing. A split second's loss of concentration gave one of the Imvari a chance to try to make a break for it, but he was able to get that one back in line.

=/\=

"I can hear fighting out there," said the Klingon woman.

"I can't slow us down at all," Melissa said, "I can barely keep us from hitting all the junk that's out here. This isn't exactly smooth sailing, and we're going like a bat outta hell."

"Look," Deb said, "we're gonna die here if this ship can't be slowed down. We'll just ram into Pluto or something. Cooperating might turn out to be a good idea," she brandished the stick again at the Witannen.

"Just tell me what to turn or press," Jennifer said.

"Who's to say the fighting out there isn't going our way?" one of the Witannen said.

As if in answer, Jonathan burst in. He had a bruised cheek but was otherwise okay, "Ladies," he said, "we might wanna slow down. I can see Charon out there. Oh, and you folks," he indicated the Witannen, "might want to get new lackeys, 'cause your old ones are cowering out in the hallway."

"Over there," one of the Witannen said, "The button that looks like three wavy lines."

Jennifer found it, and pressed. Another panel opened up, with a series of bars and a stick with a handle, "These are warp factors, right?" she pointed to the bars, which graduated in size.

"Yes," said the cooperative Witannen.

Jennifer pulled the stick down to the shortest bar. The ship jolted from Warp Nine to Warp One, but they kept their footing.

=/\=

"I think we might be in control," Dayah said, shushing a small Xindi Reptilian.

"I hope so," Lili said, "I thought one was enough work."

=/\=

"Someone needs to get Mrs. Beckett," Jonathan said, as the ship settled down and he realized that they could do that.

"I'll –" Malcolm volunteered. Doug glared at him.

"Uh, I'll go, sir," Travis said.

"And me," Emmiz said.

"I as well," Leveqa said.

They took a stick and departed.

=/\=

"Captain, is everyone all right?" T'Pol asked.

"All but one is accounted for," he replied, "Stand by."

=/\=

Emmiz, Leveqa and Travis found them, still rocking, still cooing.

"My God, it's like Day Care Hell in here," Travis said.

"Mayweather, pick up a kid if the noise bothers you," Lili said.

Emmiz found Dayah. She was looking over two small beds with identical twin boy Xindi in them, "These are mine, with Jannar. I think. They should be a good year old, but it looks as if all of the infants were kept perpetually small. Perhaps we can consider today to be their birthdays."

"Will we marry?" Emmiz asked her.

"What will your schoolmates think, you marrying an old granny like me?"

"I don't care what they say."

"Oh, you are a prize," she said, kissing him, "If there is any such thing as a good part of this, it is you."

Leveqa looked down at Andorian infants. Serin had left the mob and was there as well, "That one. I am pretty sure," he said, "Our first one, before Erell. We never named her. Should we, you think, name her Erell?"

"No," Leveqa said, "That was a different person. This is the child with a chance. I don't know what we shall name her, but it must be anything but Erell."

"As you desire," he said.

=/\=

There were two shuttles for the humans. Who knows how many for the Xindi, the Klingons, the Takret, and more? But the _Enterprise_ was there, and sent the two shuttles.

T'Pol gathered up her passengers. Melissa got in and Doug followed her. He had a bit of a shiner going but it wasn't bad. Then Lili. Malcolm got in to sit next to her. Doug, again, glared.

Jennifer was looking around nervously.

"Jennifer," Malcolm said, "Come sit here," he placed her between him and Lili. That seemed to work for Doug.

The shuttle left and they kept quiet. After a while, Melissa asked to pilot, "I just want to do something normal for once," she explained.

=/\=

In the other shuttle, it was cozy and cramped. Chris Harris sat at the controls and Travis got in next to him, "I gotta work a bit," he explained, "Extended vacation – kinda."

Jonathan and Deb sat together, and he quietly and surreptitiously held her hand. He had no idea what he was going to do once they were actually back. The cramped conditions more or less forced Hoshi onto Tripp's lap. He did not object.

As they piloted the second shuttle out, Travis paid attention to what he was doing, but a little bit of him thought of the frightened doe of a woman that he'd just spent almost a month with.

=/\=

"'Ommy! 'Ommy!"

"My little duck!" she hugged him and kissed him, "Go see Daddy," she straightened up.

"Daddy!"

Doug lifted Joss up in his arms, "How's my brave boy?"

"Tell them what you told me," Yimar said.

"Oh?" Lili asked.

"Aunt Jenny," Joss said.

"We can say J's now," Yimar explained.

"How wonderful. My big boy!" Lili exclaimed.

"Unka Mackum," Joss said, reaching out.

Malcolm hung back. The sleeve of his shirt moved slightly, and the cuff glinted a little in the light of the shuttle bay.

Doug just glared.

_Kick kick kick kick_

27


	9. Chapters 2527

25

Phlox arrived in the shuttle bay, "You look like you've been in a riot," he said.

"Doctor," Lili said, forming an idea in her head, "can you give me an examination first? I want to be sure the baby is all right."

Jonathan nodded, "I need to get a debriefing together anyway. Executive level staff – we won't even bother changing. Main conference room. _Now_."

"I guess I'm free to go," Jenny said, still tentative.

"Here, let's get to quarters. I know I wanna shower and pass out," Deb said.

Doug looked at Lili for a second, "I'll take Joss back to quarters. Spend some time with him."

"We can talk, uh, later," Lili said. She couldn't help it, but her eyes did follow a certain person on the Executive level staff as he filed out with the others, "I just want to make sure Petey is all right."

_Kick kick__  
_  
"Of course," Doug said tightly. So this was how it was going to be? He departed with Yimar and Joss and Lili could hear him ask, "What's today's date, anyway?"

=/\=

Sick Bay was its usual mayhem.

"You are in perfect health. Mother and baby are doing splendidly," Phlox said, "You're about four and a half months along or so. It's hard to tell with the placenta getting in the way of everything."

"Doctor, I don't want to tell you your business."

"I don't understand."

"It's just; I think you should, uh, examine the women next. The other four who were in captivity. And, um, I think you should give them all pregnancy tests."

"Oh?" Phlox arched an eyebrow. This would require a little fancy footwork, given privacy regulations. He could cover it, initially, with just a request for examinations. But if there were findings, it would get trickier. He also knew – given the pay grade and rank differences among the ten who'd been held captive – there could be sexual harassment issues. He was not looking forward to this.

=/\=

The debriefing contained a call from Admiral Gardner.

"Go ahead," Jonathan said.

"You all look a bit tired," Gardner said.

"None the worse for wear."

"Still. Maybe we'll do the real debriefing later. But I do have some interesting news that may come out of this."

"Oh?" said T'Pol. She was the only one in the room who was in uniform.

"This rescue involved an unprecedented cooperation among species. The Andorians, Vulcans and Tellarites were particularly helpful. Starfleet has taken the liberty of opening up negotiations with them. Once the Earth-Romulan War is concluded, we think this alliance should become more permanent. It just seems best to have our allies somewhat on call when we need them. Vice versa, of course, too."

"Might mean more work for me," Malcolm said.

"Or different work," Travis stated.

Hoshi yawned, "Sorry. It's just been a long day. Uh, month. Uh, two months?"

"It is August twenty-sixth," T'Pol said, "You were held captive for about three weeks."

"That's all, eh?" Tripp said, "It sure felt longer. Like a lifetime," he glanced over at Hoshi for just a second.

"We should adjourn, Admiral," Jonathan said.

"Very well, Gardner out."

"T'Pol, can you excuse us for just a minute?" Jonathan asked.

"I'll be on the Bridge," she left.

"What are we gonna tell them?" Jonathan asked, "I am open to suggestions that don't involve out and out lying."

"We were prisoners," Malcolm said, fingering the cuff just a little bit. It had been more than that.

"Yeah, but the rest of it," Travis said.

There was a communications chime. It was Phlox, "Ensign Sato, may I give you an examination now?"

"On my way," she left.

Jonathan looked at them. Travis, Malcolm and Tripp – they all had good careers. Providing too much detail could blow it for any of them, let alone himself.

"The rest of it," Tripp said, "is gonna be a lot trickier. What are we supposed to say about our private lives? About a married woman, and another one who's about to git married? How do we get that into Starfleet's official records without, well, without hurting people's feelings?"

"Or their careers," Travis said, "I mean, Jennifer wasn't exactly, uh, willing," he gulped, "She could sue me for harassment."

"But she wouldn't, right?" Tripp said, "_Right_?"

"We have issues with the rank differences as well," Jonathan said, "My own imbalanced, uh, relationship, is obvious. Travis, you and Jennifer at least are both Ensigns. But Tripp – you have the same issue with Hoshi. At least the Becketts are civilians now, otherwise we'd be seeing the same imbalance with both of them. He was a Lieutenant Commander when he retired – she was an Ensign when she quit."

=/\=

Phlox let Hoshi go. He stared at the four tubes in front of him. Each of them had a stick in it. He had already told who he needed to tell. He sighed and hit the Communicator.

"Phlox to the Main conference room."

"Yes?" It was Jonathan's voice.

"You should have Mr. Beckett join you," Phlox said, "What I need to say concerns him as well."

=/\=

Lili was back, and she sat with Joss and read to him, "And the big, bad wolf said, 'I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in!' See, like this," she demonstrated and Joss laughed.

There was a communications chime. Doug answered it, "Uh, okay," he said, "Beckett out. Lili, they want me to go to the debriefing. I'll, uh, be back soon."

"Okay," she said, and then went back to the story.

=/\=

Doug got to the Main conference room and looked around. He found a seat across from Tripp, "Okay, what can I help you with the debriefing?" he asked.

"This isn't about that. Doctor, tell him what you just told us."

Phlox said, "Sperm has met ovum. I cannot go into more detail at this time."

"Oh," Doug parsed that out in his head. Someone was pregnant, "Who?"

"We have strict privacy regulations," The doctor said, "Therefore I am not even able to tell you how many of the women are pregnant. We will do it this way, if there are no objections. Each of you will come to Sick Bay. You need to be examined anyway, so that will be the cover story. My understanding is that the pairings were monogamous, is that correct?"

"Y-yes," Jonathan said.

"Very well," Phlox continued, "You will come to Sick Bay. And I will still examine you. And you will also ask about one woman – the one you were paired with. _No others_. The answer will be, of course, a positive or a negative. And the woman – or women – like I said, I am not even able to give you that as a particular – will be contacted. And you can decide how you wish to proceed as, well, as a couple. I suppose that's the right word."

"Why all the mystery?" Travis asked.

"Privacy. Starfleet is very strict about this. Oh, and don't just flat out ask the women, please. As you can well imagine, this news is rather unsettling. Please follow directions and do as I ask."

"Okay, um, Tripp, you go first," Jonathan said, "Then Travis, then Malcolm."

"No, sir," Malcolm said, "It's a physical impossibility. I was paired with Mrs. Beckett. She can't get pregnant while she already is."

Doug shot him another look.

"Of course that is true," Phlox said.

"You are excused," Jonathan said, "Doug, when do you want to, um, get examined?" His mouth tightened.

"I can go last," he said, "I guess I need to have a talk."

"We probably all do," Jonathan said, "Phlox, you'll be discreet?"

"That is my oath as a physician. I have pieced together some of what happened, from the women's accounts. Clearly, this is not something you would wish to share with too many others. I will be here. Phlox out."

"I guess I'm up first," Tripp said.

"We're adjourned," Jonathan said, "I'd wish you all luck, but, ha, getting lucky is what got us into this in the first place."

=/\=

Jennifer contacted Chip, "Can I talk to Frank Ramirez, on Enceladus?"

"Sure thing. And, welcome back. You can make it to your church on time," he paused, "Ah, go ahead."

=/\=

Melissa then reached Chip, "Can I talk to Leonora Digiorno, on Ceres?"

"Righto. Just a sec."

=/\=

Doug got back to quarters, "Yimar, can you take Joss?"

"Sure," she said, getting up from the desk, "Let's go see the puppy again."

"Doug, we just got back here. We should spend time with him," Lili said.

"No. We need to talk. _Right now_."

_Kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick__  
_

=/\=

There was a message on Malcolm's PADD. There were several, but he only wanted to read one.

_Reed,_

The mining disaster turned out to be not quite so disastrous after all. Plus – Gawd – boring doctors trying to hit on me.

Anyway, I'll be on Earth a day early. So would you like to meet me at my hotel on the twenty-seventh? I'm at the Hotel Nikko.

I have all sorts of surprises. And I think you'll like the dress I've picked out for the reception. You'd call it fetching but you should really call it ravishing – and then be the one to do the ravishing, my knave.

See you then.

– Pamela  
  
He punched the communications button, "Reed to Harris. Chris, can I get a shuttle ride to San Francisco a day early? I'll clear it with the Captain, of course."

He got into the shower, wearing nothing but the cuff, "I don't know what I'm doing," he said as the water rushed all over him, "I don't know my own mind, or my own heart, at all."

=/\=

Phlox and Tripp sat down to have a long chat while the first physical examination went on.

26

"Hoshi! Uh, Hoshi! Can we talk?" Tripp was breathless. He'd run after her.

"Sure," she said, and they went into an unoccupied lab.

After the door had closed, he said, "Marry me."

"What?"

"I said, _marry me_. Uh, will you marry me?"

"Tripp, I'm not pregnant. You should know that by now."

"I know. But that would be just the cherry on the sundae. I mean, when I realized that, well, that there was a real possibility that we could be, uh, becomin' parents, I realized how much, well, that I love you. And, and you could, you could learn to love me, too. At, at some point. I mean, we're good friends, right? And that's a good three-quarters of the way there, isn't it? We know we're good together. We both know this. You know this, Hoshi."

"Tripp, calm down. You won't want to in, like, a week or so. That gas, maybe it's still affecting you. You'll see. You don't love me."

"But I do. Really. You want I should, uh, get on my knees? Is that what you want, Hoshi?"

"No, no. _Stop_," she dug her fingernails into the palms of her hands. Stay strong, she said to herself, "Get up. _Please_. Don't, don't do this. You don't mean it."

"But, uh," he looked in her eyes and she looked away, "I _do_ mean it," he tried to take her hand but she rebuffed him.

"We have to be able to work together. We can't do that if, if, you know."

"So we'll change jobs, or I'll change, and you can stay on the _Enterprise_, which you love. And we can be together, I dunno when, when you're on leave or somethin'. Everybody needs an engineer. This could work."

"No, it can't," she said, "Please. No more."

It finally sunk in. He got up, "I, uh, I'm sorry. I'm, uh, I'm only gonna say this once," he swallowed, and then continued, "I think I can understand. We're not in the same place, you 'n me. And that happens. And that's, uh, that's all right. I love you enough to, to not push it," he swallowed again, "But I just want you to know. Just, just say the word. And not about, about gittin' married but about just, well, just giving this another chance. Just say the word. Any time, any place," His voice breaking, he left.

Hoshi looked down at her hands when she moved one up to wipe her eyes. The fingernails had dug right in and drawn blood.

=/\=

"Jennifer, we should talk," Travis said.

"What's there to talk about?" she asked.

"You know."

"Oh. Well, you just won't say anything and I won't say anything, and we'll be fine," she said.

"Jennifer, you can't just wish this away."

"Sure I can. _Watch me_."

=/\=

"Thank you for the ride," Malcolm said to Chris.

"Thanks from me, too – and from the San Francisco Ballet," Shelby Pike said, smiling.

"Oh?" Chris Harris asked, as he steered the shuttle out.

"I was a minor player. Second sugar plum fairy from the right, that kind of thing. Went to school for Botany at night," she said, "I'm still friends with the troupe so we'll go out and have, I dunno, a half a calorie's worth of pizza tomorrow."

"Sounds like fun. Just don't let a lotta big guys toss you around or anything," he said, "Got anything planned, Lieutenant?"

"I'm, uh, meeting a friend," Malcolm said tightly. _Pamela_. The shuttle was out of the bay and speeding along. He'd crossed the Rubicon. He touched the cuff again. That was becoming a reflexive habit with him. He seemed to do it whenever he was troubled or pensive. And he was troubled a lot.

"How long a trip is it?" Shelby asked.

"Almost twenty hours. So we'll fly in shifts. I'll take this part and the last part, which are the trickiest. You want between Saturn and Jupiter? That's the quietest part."

"Sure," she said.

"I'll, uh, I suppose I'll get some rest," Malcolm said.

=/\=

Yimar sat with Joss in the cafeteria as he played with Porthos. Or, rather, tossed Porthos bits of bread. She was nodding off.

=/\=

_Malcolm was in a darkened room. People came and went. No one could see or hear him._

He called out, "Is anybody there?"

"Sure," It was Yimar.

"Oh. This is, it is one of your style dreams, isn't it?" he asked.

"Yes, it is," she replied, "You're Lili's nighttime fellow, right?"

"I, uh, what?"

"Nighttime. You get together when you sleep. In a dream just like this."

"I don't know 'bout that. I, uh, I'm not sure how to do this," Malcolm admitted, "No one seems to know I am here, except for you."

"And you want to find her, right?" said the teenager.

He nodded, "Desperately. But you, I don't want you to say anything to, to Mr. Beckett."

"'Course not," she shrugged, "I don't tell my Dad what my mother dreams about, either, since she started dreaming again. And vice versa. I mean, it's your business, right? You only share what you want to."

"Right. And, well, I don't know that Mr. Beckett would be, well, too receptive to it all."

"I dunno. But, so, anyway, you wanna know how to sync up with her, right? 'Cause right now, except for this conversation, you're totally asynchronous."

"Yes, I suppose that's right," he said.

"All you gotta do is just –"  
_  
_Shelby elbowed him, and he woke up, "We're in visual range of Saturn. Thought you might want to look."

"Oh," he said, shaking cobwebs, "That large moon, is that Titan?"

"Yep," Chris said, "It's the biggest of Saturn's moons, as you know."

He knew. He also knew that Lili had grown up there. He touched the cuff again.

=/\=

"So, what was the debriefing about, and why can't we talk about it in front of Joss?" Lili asked Doug.

"It wasn't a debriefing, not really. It was Phlox."

"Are you okay?"

"Me, yeah. He wants to give me an exam but I can tell I'm okay. The shiner isn't bad. But – Lili – he said at least one of the girls is pregnant."

"Oh. Uh, who are the lucky parents?" she asked, turning off her PADD and paying full attention.

"He wouldn't say. We've all got to play this elaborate parlor game. It's all under cover of getting physicals from him. Which we need – but we're to ask about, you know."

"I see. Well, I did tell him to give the tests. I know the others are, uh, they're all grown women. But I figured, you know, they might be too shell-shocked to figure out to ask for that."

"Yeah," he said.

"Doug, is there a possibility that you've hit this lottery?"

"Yes," he said very quietly.

"Did you, um, did you try to, uh, prevent this?" she wasn't sure which answer she wanted to hear.

"In the, in the beginning, yes."

"But not later."

"No. Not really," he gulped.

"I see," she said slowly, "Do you, uh, do you think you love her?"

_Kick.__  
_  
"What?"

"It's an easy question."

"No, it's not. How about you, do you love _him_?" he asked, voice beginning to rise.

"We're talking about you, not me."

_Kick.  
_  
"Oh, no. You're in on this, too. You're guilty, too. See, that's something that I've always been troubled by, Lili. When I got here, when I hit this side of the pond, I was a guilty SOB," he was getting louder, "I had never been punished. I had gotten away with a boatload of sins. And you were innocent. You got to be the forgiver. You were the perfect one."

"Perfect? I was – and am – far from perfect," she said, getting up and starting to match his volume.

_Kick Kick Kick._

"Oh, c'mon, you practically had a halo on. And you said – you said if we loved each other and we put that into everything we did, then, then I'd be forgiven. And you doled out forgiveness like you served up stew."

"_Excuse me_? If you thought I was holding back, or holding any cards in that area, why the _hell_ didn't you speak up about it then?"

_Kick kick Kick Kick Kick.  
_  
"I was too guilty. I was _consumed _with it, Lili."

"You were _happy_. Or was that a lie? Were you lying to me, Doug, when you said you were happy, that you had everything you'd ever wanted?"

"I was guilty! It was uneven! I needed your approval!"

"My _approval_?" now she was really shouting, "What the hell did you think you needed my approval for? You're a grown man."

"I followed your lead. I did whatever you asked. Even if I found it boring or slow, or, or not what I wanted."

"Why didn't you tell me what you wanted? _You could have talked to me_!"

_Kick kick kick kick kick kick Kick Kick Kick._

"Well, I can't talk to you anymore. At least it doesn't feel like I can. I see the way you look at him. I see – you gave him that cuff. You did that. I know it was special, and you just gave it to him."

She turned away.

"I see it now," Doug said, voice lower but chilling, "It's that you – you're guilty, too. And you can't handle it. You are getting a taste of this medicine. And it's pretty bitter, eh?"

"At least I'm no killer."

"That, now? Look, I haven't laid a hand on, on him or on anyone on this side of the pond," Although he had to admit – if he were totally honest with himself – that he had certainly considered it.

"Did you kill any Imvari today?"

"No. I won't say I didn't think about it, or that I didn't smack the bejeesus out of them. But, no, I didn't kill any of them."

"I suppose that's, that's something," she said tentatively and a little quieter, "We should, um, we should talk about, about Melissa."

"No. That's over."

"Not necessarily. What if you're suddenly gonna have Number Three Son?" her voice rose back up again.

"That won't happen."

"How can you say that? Did you, did you stop before it was too late? Did you pretend like you were a teenager again? Do a lot of math? Or did you two _do it_?"

_Kick kick kick kick kick Kick Kick Kick.  
_  
"We, we ..."

"And another thing. How come – when you and I do it – I have to have surgery for cryin' out loud? I can't have sex with you without having my body altered. And I've had that done twice. And it'll be a third time after Pete here is born," she patted her own belly. Assuming they could find some way to stay together, "But she, she's fine. Not a scratch on her. Why is it so rough with me? Why can't you be, why can't you touch me, when I'm not all altered, without, without hurting me?"

"I have been gentle with you! _I have been careful_!"

"But it's never careful enough. I'm still the one who ends up broken and bleeding. I'm the one whose life is, is in danger. And that last time, Pete, too. You should just, you should get with her because at least she's not gonna die when you do it."

"I don't know who you are anymore. Wait –" he said, "I _do_ know. You killed Lili."

"What?"

"You. You're not Lili at all. You're _Charlotte_," he spat out her first name like it was a curse.

"_Excuse me_?"

"Yeah. Charlotte O'Day. That's you. Because, you see, Lili Beckett? She's not like this. She's loyal and she's kind and she's good. And she would never tell me to just go and gallivant off. She would want to, to be with, with me."

"And you're Hayes, right? If we're gonna do this, let's do it up right. If we're gonna go with your first fallback position – _denial_ – then let's go all the way. Right, _Hayes_? Mr. Tactical Officer, who just so happened to get promoted because he's got an itchy trigger finger? Yeah, that guy. The one who strafed a Denobulan village all by his lonesome, and killed innocent children. The one who is a distorted version of Jay. _That_ one."

"And what of you?" he yelled back, "Charlotte – who lies down with, with the likes of Reed," That got her to raise an eyebrow and reddened her face a lot, so he kept twisting the knife, "Are the kids mine? Tell me that, Charlotte. _Are they_?"

"I got news for you! We are homesteaders! Pio – _freakin' _– neers! There are exactly three humans in the entire godforsaken Lafa System. You, me and Joss! And he's not capable of doing the deed, so I guess you're elected."

_Kick kick kick kick Kick Kick Kick.  
_  
"What about that supply ship?" he accused, "They had a human pilot. Did you get with him when I was busy building our house?"

"Do the math, Doug. It was a year and a half ago. I was already pregnant with Joss. And I was barfing almost constantly, in case you've forgotten. I wasn't exactly a beauty queen."

_Math_. That word for something intimate, "Did you do that with him, too? Huh, did ya do math? Is he good at it? Does he think _you're_ good at it?"

"As good as she thinks you are at it," Lili said, her volume much lower than it had been, "She – if she is pregnant. She is scared. She is worried. She – pregnancy is hard enough, particularly in the beginning. Your body's not your own anymore. You get pulled around all the time."

"She is _not_ pregnant."

"What if she is? What will you, what will you do?"

"It is – if she is – then it is my responsibility," he said, "_Mine alone_."

"No."

"You would let that kid starve, assuming she has it?"

"No," Lili repeated, "It's not _your _responsibility."

"Yes, it is."

"No. It's, it's _ours_."

There was a sound of the door. Lili wiped her eyes quickly and turned to face the door.

It was Yimar with Joss. Brian was hovering behind them.

"Just here to get a clean diaper," she said, "And the stego – what is that word again?"

"Stegosaurus," Brian said.

"Here," Doug said, handing over the toy.

"'Ommy sad?"

"A little," she said, "Give me a big, big hug, okay?" He complied, and then ran over to the window.

"C'mon, buddy," Brian said, "You ready?" he asked Yimar.

"Yep. Have diaper, will travel," The three of them left.

"Ours?" he asked, "I, uh, I won't have contact with that kid. We can get it so that, so that my pay is just automatically deducted. I'll go to work doing, uh, something. Construction, maybe. And the money will go to her and she can do whatever she wants with it. Make sure the kid is fed and clothed and goes to a good school. And she can tell him, tell him anything she wants to about me. That I'm in prison or dead or whatever, I don't care."

"No, you can't. You can't punish that child that way," she said, "He's innocent."

"I can't be in that, in that place."

"Doug, I know you," Lili said, "You wouldn't be able to stay away. The minute you see that kid, whether it's in person or just a photograph, I know you. You're gonna fall in love. And that's okay. It's what's _supposed _to happen."

"It's too complicated," he said.

There was a communications chime. It was Doctor Phlox, "Mr. Beckett, I am ready to see you now. Phlox out."

"Okay, I'll, um, I'll be back, uh, soon."

"I'm coming with you," she said.

=/\=

Sick Bay was quieter than usual. Phlox was a little surprised to see Lili, "Are you sure you wish to be here, Mrs. Beckett?"

"Yes," she said.

_Kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick Kick Kick Kick.  
_  
"Very well," he cleared his throat, "Ask me what you need to ask me, Mr. Beckett."

"Is Melissa Madden pregnant?" Doug asked.

"Yes."

27

That night, they slept in the same bed – or, rather, they tried to. They lay next to each other, without touching, stock still, arms at their sides, unfeeling as mannequins. There could just as well have been the Great Wall of China between them.

No one crossed the border.

The morning was quiet and somber. Their plans were to meet Melissa in Sick Bay. It seemed the only thing to do.

"And I want to thank you again for – you've really gone above and beyond as a sitter, Yimar," Lili said.

"Oh, it's okay. I love Joss," The frosty atmosphere had not escaped her observations, "We're gonna run a race against Brian in one of the empty halls. And maybe we'll be able to get Porthos out for a little running, too. I dunno. The Captain seems to want to keep him close right now."

"Well, just don't bother anyone – don't be too loud, okay?" Lili said, "And you, Mister," she said to her son, "If you win, be a nice winner. Tell Brian he ran a good race, okay?"

"We may or may not have gotten that," Yimar said.

"It's easy to forget he isn't older than he is," Lili explained.

"Easy to forget lots of things," Doug said softly.

_Kick Kick.  
_  
"We'd, um, we've got an appointment," Lili said. They left.

=/\=

Melissa was waiting when they got to Sick Bay, sitting on one of Phlox's bio beds, her feet dangling off the side.

"How are you feeling?" Lili asked almost immediately.

"Like I've got the worst case of PMS. _Ever_."

"Yeah, I was like that in the very beginning, both times," Lili said, "Then you get to move onto barfing and binge eating."

"Doesn't the binge eating cause the barfing?" Melissa asked.

"Sometimes. Do yourself a favor and avoid fruit. _Trust me_."

"That's assuming she's going ahead with this at all," Doug said.

"Uh, well, um, look," Melissa said, "This is not the way I thought I'd start a family. And it's not the time or date, either. But, uh, Norri – that's my girl – she and I got to talking and we think, well, it seems like it's a good, um, opportunity."

"So you're going ahead?" Doug asked.

"Yes. I'm doin' it."

_Kick.__  
_  
"Melissa, I can, uh, I can get myself a job and, and send you money. You don't have to take me to court. I'll do it. And I'll, um, I'll stay away if, if you want me to," he said.

The doctor came in, "Ah, I see you're attending to matters. I will be nearby if you need me."

"Doug, I, um, this baby, she –"

"Melissa, you're probably going to have a boy," Lili interjected, "There's a three-quarters chance."

"Oh. Well then it's even more imperative. If I have a boy, well, he'll be in a house full of women. I think he'll, uh, need a man to, uh, show him how to grow up. To, to be a good man."

It was practically involuntary, but Doug took her hand. He didn't say anything.

"I, uh, I want you to be in his life," Melissa said.

_Kick kick Kick Kick Kick.  
_  
They both looked over at Lili who was distractedly holding her own belly, "Of, of course," she said, "And the kids should know each other. They'll be brothers."

"And you should meet Joss," Doug said. He suddenly realized what he was doing, and dropped Melissa's hand.

"Yeah. I never actually got a chance to meet him. But I've heard him sometimes."

"Oh, well, he's a boisterous little boy," Lili said, "You'll have your hands full."

Melissa just looked around nervously and ended up sitting on her hands.

=/\=

"We should sleep together some time," Yimar said, after Brian let Joss win again.

"What?"

"We should! See if we like it."

"You shouldn't, uh, talk about that in front of Joss."

"Race again!" squealed the child.

"I haven't, yet. Have you?"

"Me? I'm, well, I'm not uh, well, I have experience," he said, bending the truth a bit. Okay, _a lot_.

"Oh. I'm untouched. But I didn't mean that. I mean the other way," Yimar said.

"Huh?"

"Oh, the dream thing!" she said, "You know, you sleep, I sleep, and we connect. See how that goes. I mean, there's this guy at my school. And I think he is interested but yanno, he's just kinda icky."

"Oh. Are you, um, are you saying I'm not icky?"

"Well, you're less icky."

"Huh."

"C'mon, race again!" Joss pulled on his arm before Brian could really answer.

=/\=

Meeting over, Melissa went to the Bridge, "Would it be all right if I spoke with you a minute, Captain? I can come back if you're, if you're busy," she said.

"No, that's all right. In my Ready Room," he said. Deb had been standing behind him and looked over a little. T'Pol raised an eyebrow but said nothing. There had been some news reports of a large number of Vulcan children and forced couplings. The humans – it was logical to posit – had been forced as well. But she didn't know the specifics. Her concern was only to assure that Captain Archer was able to perform his duties to the best of his ability. Gossiping was not in her nature.

"What can I do for you?" Jonathan asked as soon as the door had closed.

"Captain, I don't know if anyone else is, but I came out of the Witannen experience pregnant."

"I see. Are you – can I ask – and this is more a personnel question than anything else – are you going ahead?"

"Yes, I am. So I guess I'll have to, uh, figure out maternity leave and all of that."

"I suppose congratulations are in order, then. Does Phlox know when you're due?"

"Late Spring. I'd like to be back on Ceres when, uh, then."

"There's a war going on, and this ship does engage in battle, as you are well aware. So you'll be removed from a combat role in a few months, if I recall Starfleet regulations correctly. How are the – eh – how are the Becketts taking the news?"

"Pretty well. They're supportive and all that. My girl's okay with it, too. She wants kids and can't have any, so I would be elected anyway."

"Oh. Your girl. Sorry, never knew that about you."

"I don't imagine you had occasion to ask, Captain."

"I guess not," he paused for a second and looked out the window.

"Sir, can I just say something, totally off the record?"

"Sure, Crewman."

"I don't think it's doing any of us any good to ignore the elephant in the room. We all came through this experience, and it's got fallout to it, and you're lookin' at it. But it's also, well, I think we'd all be foolish and in some pretty deep denial if we didn't admit to ourselves – even if we couldn't admit it to each other – that it felt pretty damned good."

"Well, preferences aside, that's biology, isn't it?"

"Sure, it's that," she said, "But it's also the feeling that, well, that someone was responsible for caring for, for only you. That they might not have had much, but they tried to, to help you in any way they could. Whatever it was, even if it was to just tell you to not be afraid or give up hope. And it was freeing, too, to be only concentrating on one person and letting all other obligations just kinda fall away."

"You're probably right," he said, "It was, kind of, I guess the right word is primal."

"Yes. Like you were the only two people in the world. I should, um, go, sir."

"Very well."

He stayed in the Ready Room after she left and looked out the window some more. _Primal_. That was definitely the right word for it.

=/\=

Returning to their quarters didn't do much to clear the air between Lili and Doug.

"I guess, uh, he'll be born on Ceres," Doug finally ventured.

"Probably."

"I wonder if she'd let me be there when he's born."

"I dunno. Uh, Yimar said you have a note from Laura on your PADD."

"Huh. I haven't opened that yet," he did. It said:

_Dear Mr. Beckett,_

Thank you for your kind invitation. I am assuming you are related to me on my mother's side – her maiden name was Beckett. It's always good to hear from a member of the extended family. My own family was greatly diminished a few years ago by my younger brother, Jay's, death. He was killed in action during the Xindi War, while serving aboard the USS Enterprise_._

I would love to meet you and your family, but I can only get away for the morning of the twenty-eighth. My firm works with the Xindi envoy and I have to catch a transport. I hope 0900 hours is acceptable to you.

Very Truly Yours,

Laura Hayes, Esq.  
Law Offices of Laura Hayes  
_  
_"Are we going?" he asked.

"Sure," she said, "For Joss's sake."

_Kick.  
_  
"For Joss's sake," he said. He composed a quick response and hit send.

"Doug, do you love Melissa?"

"Huh?"

"Do you?"

"C'mon," he said.

"I could get it if you did. And I think you do, at least a little bit."

"Do you love _him_?"

_Kick kick Kick Kick Kick._

That question again.

"Yes," she said softly.

"Then we're done here. You can have the house, and the car. Hell, you can have everything. But I get the kids," he said angrily.

_Kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick Kick Kick Kick.__  
_  
There was a sound of the door opening, "Just coming to get a –" Yimar said.

"Joss, let's go," Brian said, immediately sensing that something was off-kilter.

But it was too late. Joss had heard something. He didn't understand even one-tenth of it but he did know it was not good.

He began to cry.

"What's wrong? What's wrong?" Lili asked, a little frantic, kneeling down to talk to him.

_Kick Kick Kick.  
_  
"'Ommy mad. I was, was bad," he was barely understandable between sobs, "Por-Porthos. J-Joss bad."

"What happened? Did Porthos bite him?" she asked.

"No, no," Yimar said, "He accidentally stepped on Porthos's tail. The dog squeaked but is okay. And nobody got bitten."

"It's okay, Joss," Lili said, "Porthos is okay."

"Joss was bad," he repeated, "'Ommy don't like bad Joss. Daddy don't like bad Joss."

"Doug, help me out," Lili said, "_Please_."

Despite his anger, he couldn't refuse his child. He knelt down as well, "Joss, you're a good boy. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm not angry with you."

"Joss bad," he insisted, still crying a little, "Porthos hurt."

"No, no, Porthos is all right," Lili said, "And everybody loves you. Daddy loves you. And I love you. And, and Yimar loves you, see? And Brian loves you. And, and Hoshi loves you. And the Captain loves you. And Tripp loves you. And Aidan loves you. And Jennifer loves you. And Shelby loves you. And, and, Deb loves you. And Doctor Phlox loves you. And T'Pol loves you even if she doesn't show it. And, and Travis loves you. And Chris loves you. And Chef loves you, especially when he makes you peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. And, uh, Chip loves you. And Karin loves you. And Porthos loves you. And, uh, and Melissa loves you," she straightened up, "And Malcolm loves you."

_Kick.  
_  
Doug looked her in the eye and went to the bureau. He got out a change of underclothes, "Yimar, you and I will switch. You sleep here tonight."

_Kick kick kick kick kick Kick Kick Kick._

"Um, okay," she said.

=/\=

Malcolm got to the Hotel Nikko in record time, small duffle bag swinging in his hand. It was close to Starfleet Headquarters. He could be early for the class the following day, if he wanted to. Or sleep in.

Pamela was there, standing in the lobby, pretending to be engrossed in her PADD. She was wearing a leopard-print mini-skirt and a one-shoulder honey-colored top which was fitted and showed off her tan. Her black heels were high – they always were – and had little criss-cross straps going up to her calves. She had let her hair grow a bit, and it was piled up on top of her head, but a corkscrew curl had come loose and was annoying her, so she would blow it out of her face every now and then. The view from the back was, as always, excellent.

He cleared his throat.

She turned around, and he could see long nails, painted the same shade of dark purple as her mouth – the color of a bruise. She smiled at him, "Hey!" she called out.

"Later," he said, "Where is your room?"

"Oh," she said, smiling at him broadly. She turned to switch off the PADD.

"Later," he repeated, taking her arm with his free hand, digging his fingers in just a bit.

"Here," she said. She got out the electronic key and fitted it to the elevator's call slot, "Just a sec."

It got there quickly. They got in and were followed by a businessman. Malcolm glared at him but said nothing. The ride, fortunately, was a swift one.

"Here we are," she said as soon as she'd gotten the door open, "How've you –"

"_Later_," he insisted, dropping the duffle.

"I see," she said, moving away to put her PADD on a table.

He grabbed her arm, more roughly this time, and brought her close to him, "_Now_."

"Now," she said softly, "You look like you haven't had sex in months. Or longer."

He grabbed at her clothes, and took them off in a frenzy, not caring where he threw anything, or if he damaged anything. It was fast.

"Hey!" she yelled, "Help a girl out."

He shook his head, looking down angrily.

"_Hey_!" she repeated, "What the hell has gotten into you?"

He just sat and stared out the window.

"I said, _what the hell is going on with you_?" she yelled.

"_Nothing_," he seethed through clenched teeth.

"Look, Reed, I can't say that I wouldn't get a spark if you were to spank me – but _really_! You have never been like this."

"Oh come on, Pamela. We have had our share of nasty business."

"I am not just, just some repository for you," she said, "What the _hell _happened to the knave?"

"Don't, don't call me that."

"I was, ha, I never liked it, but I was your _sweetie-darling_. You were at least, well, friendly. What happened to that? What happened to _you_?"

"Please, don't ask," he said.

"Wait, wait, I get it," she said, "You _did_ have sex recently. _Really_ recently. But it didn't work out."

He shook his head.

"There's some other sweetie-darling. No, wait, you don't call her that. You call her something else. You don't call anybody _sweetie-darling_ because she's it. She's the one."

He turned away a little.

"And you're here because you – you had a fight or something. Something's making it not work out."

He fidgeted some more.

"Look, if you're not gonna talk to me, Reed, and you're not gonna take any time out from your busy schedule to at least help me out here, I don't see that we've got anything to say to one another," she said, a bit indignant, "You can let yourself out and I'll go see if the hot desk clerk is up for something."

That got his attention. He looked up, "Please. Pamela, I'm, I'm sorry. But please don't throw me out. I haven't got anywhere else to go right now."

She came close and put an arm on his shoulder, "What is it? What's going on that made you just turn into this insensitive creep?"

He put his head in his hands, "She's – she's married," he fingered the cuff a little.

"Oh. So you have no chance?"

"I don't know," he said, "I don't see a way out of it, and, and back to her."

"People do get divorced, you know."

"She has a small child. And another is on the way."

"Yours?"

"No," he smiled slightly, "Wish he was, a bit. At least that would make it so that there would be some sort of a bond, continuing over time. But now it just feels like we'll drop them back at their home and, and that will prove to be the end of it."

"Drop them back?"

"We brought them here," he said, "For a, a wedding, the one I invited you to."

"This just keeps getting better and better," she said, "There was a, uh, a news story. Seems there was a big ship nearby, with lots of species on it. Some sort of forced breeding. And there were humans on it but none of them were identified in the press. Know any of 'em?"

He just nodded.

"And it was you and her. Right?"

"Right," he said quietly.

"And he was on the _Enterprise_, wondering what was going on?"

"No. He was also there. He was paired with one of the pilots."

"I see. She a looker?" Pamela asked. He glanced back at her and she added, "So I'm shallow. And curious."

"No, actually, not so much. Not as conventionally captivating as you are."

"_Conventionally_?"

"I must apologize again. I don't mean you are conventional. But she is, her looks are, they're above average at best, I suppose. But there is just _something_. "

"And now she's pregnant. No, wait, she was pregnant _during_?"

"Yes," he smiled a little, "You're being thrown over for an older, somewhat plain pregnant woman, if I had to be brutally honest about her appearance. I don't believe it, either."

"Stay here," she said.

"No. I can't," he said, "I'm sorry. It would only be like, like it just was. I cannot concentrate on anyone else, cannot see anyone else. It would be very unfair to you."

"Okay," she said, "Although I did have things planned. Stay. And we'll, uh, sightsee or something."

=/\=

"Madden to Communications."

"Go ahead, Melissa," Chip said.

"Can I talk to Leonora Digiorno on Ceres?"

"One sec. Go ahead."

"Norri, hi," she said.

"Hiya. How's the bean doing?"

"I don't even think it's a lentil yet," Melissa said.

"It'll be big soon enough."

"I met with them. He would like to be involved. And I would like him to be, as well."

"Melissa, do you love him?" Norri asked.

"A little," she admitted, "I won't lie to you."

"I guess we're gonna be parents," Norri said, "You, me and him."

=/\=

Jonathan got back into the Captain's chair. He mentally went over personnel records. He'd need a new night shift pilot. He felt contact to the back of his neck. He turned a little. It was Deb.

The Bridge was filled with people. This was not a good time. But he'd have to deal with it, "In my Ready Room," he said to her.

Once the door closed, she said, "Look, Jonathan, I don't know why I did that."

"It's, um, it's okay. But you can't be doing that. You have to be on duty."

"I know. I'm, um, having a hard time concentrating Jon – , uh, sir."

"It's only been a day."

"I know, but you'll have to explain this meeting and everything, and I don't want to make life harder for you. Jonathan, I think I should leave the _Enterprise_."

"I was afraid it was going to come to this," he said, "I'd rather you didn't go."

"_Really_?" she took his hands in hers excitedly.

"Because," he said, putting her hands down and choosing his next words carefully, "Because the ship needs you."

"Only the ship?"

"I'm sorry."

"I can't stand behind you anymore and just wait and think and keep checking the damned perimeter," she said, "You're here on day shift, and I'm here, and we're gonna keep knocking into each other. And it's going to remain hard for me if I have to keep looking at you, and thinking about you."

"Hmm," he said, "What if you went on a different shift? Isn't there someone in the MACOs who would rather work the day shift?"

"I guess so," she conceded, "Maybe Hamidi."

"Talk to him tomorrow and see if he'll do it. And if not him, then ask a different MACO. I can't believe no one would want the day shift."

"Yeah. I'll probably be able to find someone to, uh, take over. I barely know the night shift folks. I guess this'll be an opportunity to get to know them better."

"Sure. There, that's good. They'll see how good you are at, at your job, Deb – uh, Crewman."

"Just one more thing before you let me go," she said.

"Oh?"

She came up close and kissed him. He didn't break off quickly, and kissed her back. When they finally broke apart, he just looked at her in wonderment, "I know that was probably a really bad idea," she allowed, "But I'll never be able to do that again."

She left, and he went back to looking out the window, thinking of how damnably unfair life could be sometimes.

=/\=

There was a communications chime. Doug answered it, "Sure, Jennifer," he said, "Uh, Jenny Crossman has a question for me. You mind if I, uh?"

"No, go ahead," Lili said. She hugged Joss just a little bit tighter.

=/\=

"So, um, Jenny, what can I do for you?" Doug asked.

"My mother is widowed."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that."

"It was several years ago. But anyway, it's an old fashioned wedding. Will you give me away?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, of course!"

"Jenny, um, you should know something. I, uh, on the other side of the pond, your, um, your counterpart – she and I lived together for over a year."

"Oh. Huh. Whooda thunk it?"

"Yeah, pretty nutty," he said.

"Did you, um, was she anything like me?"

"Looked the same, except for bigger hair and darker makeup. And, um, it was not a very good relationship, to be honest with you."

"Well, I understand things were often out of hand there," she said.

"She was, uh, well, it was mutual. We were cheating on each other."

"Oh," she said, "How?"

"She had, uh, lots of offers. Some are counterparts of people you'd know, some aren't. I just, uh, had one gal I'd see. Anyway, I've said too much already."

"Yeah, probably."

"Did you, uh, did you tell your fiancé about what happened to us while we were held captive?"

"No. He doesn't need to know the gory details of that."

"Hmm. I think you should tell him something."

"No," she said, shaking her head.

"Do whatever you wanna do. You're a grownup. And, uh, I'll do it. I'll give you away."

=/\=

Lili lay down to rest a bit.  
_  
The room was filled with people._

Humans, Calafans, Vulcans, Xindi, all of them.

It wasn't the holding center and it wasn't the Enterprise. Then she was in actual space, tumbling end over end.

She was moving along, hurtling toward Earth.

She got there. _  
_

=/\=

Malcolm, too, was all in. He kept his distance from Pamela, even though they were sharing the hotel bed. He felt terrible as he folded his hands behind his head. He could feel the cuff behind his left ear.

_He opened a door._

She was there.

They just smiled at each other for a moment. He spoke, "I was unsure of how to do this."

"We both have to be receptive."

"I am definitely receptive," he said, "I am more than receptive," he smiled at her broadly.

"Me, too. But I don't want to do any sneaking around."

"Me neither," he said, "The pieces still aren't quite configured properly, Lili-Flower." _  
_

=/\=

Doug walked back to quarters. He thought a bit about the girl he'd known, lo those many years before. Shelby Pike. But she hadn't been a Botanist and ex-ballerina on the other side of the pond.

No.

She'd been the night shift pilot, just like Melissa was in this universe. But unlike Melissa – or the Shelby on this side of the pond – she'd also been a former professional.

He opened the door to quarters. Wrong room. Force of habit. Lili was sleeping in the bed they had shared. Her eyelids were fluttering something fierce – she was clearly dreaming up a storm.

Then he heard her distinctly say, "_I don't want to do any sneaking around_."

36


	10. Chapters 2830

28

He left her to sleep, trying not to think about things. He didn't sleep well, and his dreams were fitful, mostly a lot of people wandering in and out but no one was talking directly to him and he wasn't talking to them. In the morning, he returned to the shared quarters to get some clothes. She was up and Yimar was showering.

"Doug," she said, still in bed, "I don't want to end it. I do love you, you know."

"You just told me you're in love with another man. Isn't ending it what's _supposed_ to happen?"

"Why is it impossible for me to love – and really and truly be in love with – _both _of you?"

"Because it_ is_."

Yimar came back into the room, clad only in a towel.

"I'll, um, I'll see you at the shuttle," he said, and left the room.

=/\=

Pamela was alone when she woke. Her PADD was flashing.

_Went to the gym. See you at the class. I have to prepare._

– MR  
  
She shook her head, "You got it _bad_. I even heard you talking in your sleep, saying her name. Or at least I guess it was her name. Flower something," she said to no one, and went to her suitcase to select an outfit. A bit of bright green cloth caught her eye. He'd brought back her scarf, "I guess this is it. There's new royalty in town."

=/\=

Laura Hayes was almost sixty, with greying brown hair and hazel eyes. She wore a black suit and had a briefcase with her. She looked at Doug with wide-eyed surprise but then was bowled over by Joss.

"Joss, take it easy," Lili said, "He's very excited. He loves _everyone_."

"He must be a very pleasant child," Laura said.

Doug made the introductions and Yimar took Joss and amused him by showing him how to spin the thin bracelet on her wrist.

They sat down.

"I, um, this must look very strange to you," Doug said.

"Yes," Laura admitted, "I am, I know it's impossible. But I could swear that you were my brother's doppelganger. Although perhaps you're aged forward in time a year or so. Jay died in 2153," she sighed, "Six years ago. At least our parents didn't survive to see that."

"Were you and Jay very close?" Lili asked.

"A little. He was younger than me but he could be very overprotective. I guess that's military for you."

"I know that," Doug said, "I'm also former military."

"He wasn't really close to anyone, not much," Laura said, "A pity. He was a good person. Smart, capable and with a lot to offer. But no serious relationships, not even a girlfriend to mourn his passing. Then again, I never married, either. I guess neither of us were cut from that kind of cloth. But you two. A growing family and everything!"

"Yeah, um," Doug said, looking away.

_Kick Kick.  
_  
"Tell us more about Jay," Lili prompted, "What he did for fun, that sort of thing."

"He trained. All the time, it seemed. He always wanted to be ready. The safety of the _Enterprise_ was his primary concern at the end. He, uh, he died rescuing their Communications officer. She sent me a very comforting note afterwards," Laura stopped for a moment, "I'm sorry, it's a downer. Can I ask, Mr. Beckett, how are you and I related?"

"Please, uh, please, call me Doug," he said. He looked at Lili, "You explain it."

"_Me_?" Lili sighed a little, "Ms. Hayes," Lili said, "I'm no physicist. But I know that there are many universes. This one – the one that we're in – and there's at least one other viable one."

"I don't understand."

"I didn't, either. But, see, the other universe, it's almost a mirror of us. There are some subtle differences, though. And in ours, Jay is born on December fifth. And he's named Jay Douglas Hayes, right?"

"Uh, yes," Laura said, a little hesitantly.

"In the other one, that same person – kind of – he's born on December third. It's during the same year, 2102. And when he was born, he was named Douglas Jay Hayes. And he's sitting across from you."

There was silence. Joss broke it, "'Ommy?"

"Excuse me a sec," Lili said, going over to him.

"What does this all mean?" Laura asked.

"I'm not really Jay," Doug said, "I grew up without a sister. And, I'm sure, without his values. I'm an imitation. Not really your brother at all. Not back from the dead, for sure. But, I hope you'll take this day in the spirit in which it was intended. Because, uh, I just want to know who that guy was, and what made him tick. And, and who loved him and all of that. Because he shouldn't be forgotten."

"No. He shouldn't be," she said, a little shell-shocked-looking.

"I, uh, my life isn't the continuation of his story. I don't give him a happy ending. And I probably don't give myself one, either. But at least it's not a story that ended six years ago."

"Is there, do you know, is there some place that Yimar could take him for a few hours?" Lili asked, "I haven't lived in this area for a while, and I never paid attention to any attractions that would be good for a preschooler."

"I thought you said he was going to go to the class and watch," Doug said.

"I thought about that. It's hand to hand combat. I just don't think it would be appropriate," Lili answered.

"Lili, you _promised_."

_Kick kick Kick Kick Kick.  
__  
_"Doug, you saw how he melted down when he thought the dog was hurt. How's he gonna react when he sees a bunch of grown men fighting? I don't think he'll understand that it's all supposed to be pretend," Lili said.

Laura glanced from one face to the other, and then said, "I think there might be a petting zoo nearby. Does he like animals?"

"Loves 'em," Yimar said.

"Here," Laura found the information and showed Yimar on a PADD.

"Look, Joss, they have ducks!" Yimar said, showing him a picture on the PADD.

"He's the duck," Lili explained.

"Oh," Laura replied.

Joss squealed, "_Duck Duck_! 'Ommy _Duck Duck_!"

Doug finally conceded, "Yeah, um, I guess he'll watch me in action some other time. Go and, um, take him to see the ducks, Yimar."

Yimar and Joss left after Joss gave out another big hug and a kiss to a rather surprised but delighted Laura.

Laura then looked at both of them once it was just the three of them, "I appreciate your coming here, and telling me all of this. It's a lot to process. I don't even know what to call you. Cousin? Brother? Half-brother? In-law?"

"Uh, just my name is fine," Doug said.

"I also – and this is absolutely none of my business. But – I don't even know you. And I can tell – and I'm sure your son can tell this as well – you look like you're on the rocks."

Lili looked away.

_Kick Kick Kick.  
_  
"It's that I need a job," Doug said, and then quickly added, "But that's not why we came here. We don't want anything from you."

"Oh. I see," Laura said, "You said you were ex-military."

"Yes, but I shouldn't go back into combat," Doug said.

"Hmm, I suppose not. There's other things, though. Desk jobs and the like. Also, well, one thing I've noticed. We have been building a Xindi Embassy. And there are going to be other embassies opening up in other systems. I know there's an intention to get a human presence into all sorts of places. And those places need defenders. But, they never seem to know the terrain. The unit assigned to Vulcan almost lost a Corporal to heat stroke. They just weren't properly prepared for the climate."

"That's a real problem," Doug said, "I mean, a defense unit should be in place a good year or two before a facility like that opens. Ideally, more than that."

"I believe the next embassy will be opening up on Andoria," Laura said, "I could put in a word. Emily Stone is a good connection and knows a lot of people."

"I, our business is on Lafa II," Lili said quietly, "Yimar's home world."

"Can it be moved?" Laura asked.

"It's a restaurant," Lili said.

"Oh, hmm. Well, think about it. Oh, look at the time! I have to go," Laura said, "Do be in touch."

"Of course," Lili said, "You're family."

"I, I guess I am."

Doug kissed her on the cheek, "I never had a sister before. Let me know if I, uh, if I need to make up for years of short-sheeting your bed, or something."

Laura smiled, "Jay beat you to that. Bye."

=/\=

The class was crowded. Everyone, it seemed, wanting to watch a little sparring. Lili found an aisle seat near the bathrooms.

There were eight cadets – three were female. They stood at attention as Doug explained some basic maneuvers. Malcolm stood at the back and didn't seem to know what to do with himself. Lili could see the cuff flash just a tiny bit.

"Now, we've been going over combinations for a while, remotely. But now's the time to get down and dirty. You won't really learn this unless you do it."

He selected a cadet and let her try to punch him. He blocked her arm easily, "See what you did there? Elbow's a little too high. Next one."

A cadet kicked at him. Lili winced. She didn't much like such things. Doug was knocked down but got up quickly. Then he felled that cadet with a hit to the man's jaw. He helped the cadet up, "See, it's distractions. Don't look at the pretty girls and don't think about anything else. Next."

The next cadet used both hands in a swift one-two combination. Doug got her left arm pinned behind her back, "Okay, the issue here is, it's almost like a chess game. You've got to be thinking three, four, nine moves ahead. Get into your opponent's head. Watch which side they favor, which is their dominant side. Attack the weaker side and push it until you've hit the logical endpoint. If the weaker side is damaged, you may not have to face the stronger side. It might be enough to get your opponent to just up and quit."

Another cadet came at him. He turned slightly and grabbed a wrist. The man was on the ground, practically crying for mercy, "Okay," Doug said, releasing him, "Peripheral vision is key. She's in front of me but you're over there. She's just a distraction. Hang on, let me show you a long combination. Reed, c'mere."

Malcolm came over, "Okay, right-cross, then left uppercut," Doug said. Malcolm nodded.

They got down to it. Malcolm started as planned, then veered into an elbow into Doug's side. Doug countered with grabbing Malcolm's waist and hoisting him up, throwing him over his shoulder and to the ground in front of him. Malcolm got up, a tiny bit dazed, and got Doug's arm pinned behind his back. Doug shifted his weight over. Heavier and taller than Malcolm, he was able to break the grip and punched Malcolm's cheek. Malcolm punched Doug in the gut and there was the audible sound of "Oof!" as the wind was knocked out. Doug got his left back up, and uppercutted to Malcolm's jaw. Malcolm countered with an elbow to Doug's head, which knocked the bigger man down briefly.

_Kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick Kick Kick Kick.  
_  
Doug shook the cobwebs and got up.

It was a switch that flipped, and he kind of, sort of, saw Malcolm. But he also saw Lucas Donnelly. From over thirty-five years before. The first man he'd ever killed. Other side of the pond. It was a quick thing, designed to get Doug a raise in pay grade, nothing more.

So distracted, Malcolm was able to kick at Doug's knee and bring him down.

Doug got up and the vision was stronger. And he did what he had done almost four decades previously.

He grabbed a throat. And he started to press and squeeze.

_Kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick__kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick Kick Kick Kick.  
_  
Everyone just stared.

This wasn't a class anymore.

It was murder, and they were all watching it.

Lili stood up as quickly as her bulk would allow, "Stop it! You'll kill him!" she yelled.

_Kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick Kick Kick Kick.  
_  
"Doug! No more! Stop it! _Stop_!"

The kicking was too much, and she doubled over and fell.

=/\=

Doug broke out of his trance long enough to say to Malcolm, "If she miscarries, you're a dead man."

=/\=

Pamela saw. She was torn for a second as to who to help, but she was closer to Lili. She ran over, "Quit it, ya lummoxes!" she yelled as she raced over.

She got to Lili, "Are you in labor?" she immediately asked.

Lili shook her head.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I'm just, he won't stop kicking."

Pamela pushed down on Lili's abdomen. The kicking only increased, "Okay, hang on. I'm a doctor," she flipped open a communicator and called for an ambulance.

Lili shook and winced, "What are they doing? Have they stopped?" she asked.

"I think so. Look, there's the stretcher. Just, we'll get you to the Med Center. I'll go with you, okay?"

"Okay."

The ride was quiet but Lili did ask for the doctor's name.

"Pamela. Just call me Pamela."

"You're – you're, no. You can't be," Lili said.

"I am. And you are Reed's girl, aren't you?"

"I suppose."

"And the big guy's your husband, right?"

"Right."

"Ai yi yi yeah this was a smart idea," Pamela said, shaking her head.

"You should marry him," Lili said.

"Me? No. I don't do such things. He wouldn't have me, anyway. I'm the bad girl."

"C'mon," Lili said, "He wouldn't be spending time with you if he didn't think you had some fine qualities."

"No. I don't have any. He, uh, I saw him last night. And he is completely taken with you. He won't marry me or anyone else. I can tell. I don't know if that helps things or not. I just believe that people should have all the information. Know what I mean?"

"Yes, of course. I got a mess on my hands. And maybe blood as well."

"I think they stopped," Pamela said, "They _better_ have."

=/\=

The hospital room was small and bright. Pamela clicked open her communicator, "Reed, we're at the Med Center. I assume you and the lummox are done killing each other for one day."

"At least he stopped," Malcolm said, "We – the whole thing was stopped. No one wants to see that much of a beat-down."

"Tell him I've got her here."

"Doug," Malcolm said, "get to the Med Center. Lili is there."

"I don't know how to go."

"I'll, I'll take you."

=/\=

They arrived quickly. Doug took one look at Pamela, "You a doctor?"

"Yeah."

"Is the baby all right?"

"Yes."

"Good," he said, plunking down into a nearby chair and staring into space.

"Is she all right?" Malcolm asked.

"Shaken up. And that kid is a kicking machine. It's all stress-related, I'll wager, Reed."

"She has another four months or so to go," Malcolm said.

"She's enormous for that stage," Pamela said, "We can, um, let's go in. But no stressing. _I mean it_."

Lili looked a little drowsy but otherwise all right, "I was so afraid," she said shakily.

"For which one of us?" Doug asked.

"For both of you," Lili said, "Both of you."

"But –" Doug said.

"But nothing," Pamela interjected, "She's allowed to worry about both of you."

Malcolm looked down, "Whatever I have done, I cannot put you through this."

"No," Pamela said, "You got bitten. _Hard_. Don't just concede it."

"But she's married to _him_."

"Yeah, to _me_."

"And _you_," Pamela said, facing Doug, "you strike me as a guy who's not listening. Who's busy playing gimme, got it and gimme more."

"She's my wife. That means there are only two of us!" Doug said.

"Look. I can guess at what's happening – I only have a few pieces of this," Pamela said, "But not all songs are soloes or duets. Maybe yours is a three-part harmony of some sort. 'Cause I can tell you – if Reed isn't in on this, he's gonna be miserable forever. And if you're not in it, you'll be the one who's miserable. And if either of you are missing, she's the one who gets it. Actually, she's the one who gets it either way. If either of you care about her happiness at all, you'll, I dunno. You'll find a way to get this to work."

"Pamela," Malcolm said, "We must leave them alone for a while," he took her by the arm, "They have to talk," The two of them left.

"Doug," Lili said, "I know there are cracks in our marriage. And I know that both of us have made those cracks bigger. But I think they were there before."

"Before?"

"Yes. You weren't happy. Sure, you had lots of things that were okay for you. And some of them were truly wonderful. But you had a lot of missing pieces as well. I don't hunt with you. You don't work. You have a life filled with family obligations – and now you're about to have even more."

"I accepted those obligations gladly," he said.

"I know you did. And I appreciate that. But you also did it to the exclusion of yourself. You gave up who you were, completely. And you didn't have to. There are cracks in our marriage."

"And I want to fix them," he said.

"But just plastering them over isn't going to do any good," she said, "It's never right when you do that. You know that."

"What are you saying?" he asked.

"What if, instead, what if we crack it all open? And I mean _really_ open."

"End it?"

"No. _Change it. Add to it."_

"Lili, I don't understand."

"We are not the only parties," Lili said, "There are – by my count – five. I had thought there would be a sixth, but I am thinking, no."

=/\=

"What do you suppose they are talking about right now?" Malcolm asked.

"You gotta know," Pamela said.

"I suppose I do. I had always hoped for a kind of simple existence. Not mere, and not stupid, just, I did not want a complex one."

"I got news for you. Your life – your lives – are complicated already."

Doug was coming down the hall to where they were sitting, "Come back. She wants to talk to you. And set up a call."

Lili was already on a communicator, "Chip, tell me, can you connect me to Melissa Madden?"

"Sure thing. When are you gonna make hot dogs?"

"I have a wedding to cater in a coupla days," she said, "I'll be busy making sure the lobsters don't die before then."

"Okay, got her. Go ahead."

"Thanks. Hiya, Melissa."

The other three walked in.

"And get your girl patched in," Lili said, "Please."

Once that was ready, Lili spoke.

"I was thinking. We are intelligent people. And we all have big hearts. And it seems painful and unnecessary for us to have to confine those hearts to just one person."

"Oh?" Melissa said.

"I – Doug and I remain married. You and Leonora, is it? You remain together, of course."

"Norri is fine," she said.

"And, and," Lili said, "Malcolm is single and has girlfriends if he wants them. Doctor Hudson, perhaps. She's a finer lady than she thinks she is. But we also, we entwine."

"Entwine," Malcolm repeated carefully.

"There is – we live on Lafa II. There is a means of contacting the sleeping. These dreams are vivid and almost magical. They are a lot like life. And they can be as chaste or as steamy as you wish. They can be a kind of a secondary relationship. I can make these dreams happen for myself. And I think Doug can, too, although it would help if Melissa had some amplifying metal to help her along."

"What are you talking about?" asked Melissa.

"Lili and I wear wedding rings," Doug explained, "They are made from a Calafan alloy. It has dream-amplifying properties. I don't use it for that, though. The cuff – I think it has that as well."

"Probably," Malcolm said cautiously, "Dreaming has gotten rather vivid as of late."

"So a bracelet for you, too, Melissa," Lili ventured, "To wear to bed. And to, uh, to meet Doug."

"Meet him?"

"Yes. And to do whatever you like, whether it's hunt or talk or watch football or make love," Lili said.

"Interesting," Norri said.

"But that's just the night. During the day, the two of you are together, as always. You do whatever you like, as usual. You raise the child, of course. You go to work; you have your life together. And Doug and I have our life together. We raise our children and keep our home. I run the restaurant. And at night, he dreams of you, Melissa. And I dream of Malcolm."

"Let me see if I've got this straight," Norri said, "The nighttime thing – it's secondary, right?"

Lili nodded.

Doug said to Malcolm, "You hear that? You're second-best. And that's a good thing, too, because if this happens, you get to have party time, all the time. You get the sex and the fun and the laughing. And I get to hold her head when she's got morning sickness. And bang away at the cooling unit when it doesn't work and there's a teething child screaming and she hasn't slept well for two days. I get to make sure the car always starts and the bills are paid and the roof doesn't leak. And you get the party."

Malcolm said, "What you get is real. It's the parts that really mean something. You're right; I am second best – regardless of what she says. She's too kind and gracious to say otherwise, but someone is in front, and that someone is not me. And, and I'm all right with that. I can't be there to be the one to, to hold her head and go to meet the teachers and all of that. Starfleet will never let that happen. It's half a loaf. But I've always been taught – that's far, far better than none."

"All I ask is that everybody think about it, okay?" Lili asked, "We all have to be in agreement for this to happen. Pamela, you're a witness."

29

"So, whaddaya think?" Melissa asked, when it was just her and Norri in communication.

"Well ... I dunno," Norri sighed, "We have the kid coming. And I want to go to grad school."

"I know. We're going to lead busy lives."

"Are these dreams restful? I mean, you're pregnant. You need to get rest, Mellie."

"I think they are. I'll ask. But I gotta figure they are. He had – Doug had – explained a little of that to me. It's how they met, actually. I'll tell you the details some other time. But it did seem like, if it wasn't restful, he couldn't do it. And he dreamed like that for a while. But when they finally got together, he stopped."

"Why?"

"Because he thought it was cheating," Melissa explained.

=/\=

Pamela and Malcolm were back in the hotel room, "Dinner?" she asked.

"Oh, sure. I'll, I will buy you dinner," he said.

"Then I'll have a steak. But – what do you think of all this? You seem to be hot to do it."

"Is it that obvious? I am, of course. Whatever I can get – and to not be sneaking 'round. She doesn't want that, and neither do I. I just don't want it to be some horribly clichéd affair, where we go to sordid motel rooms that are rented by the hour, or we tell him that she's traveling for some reason or another. I don't want it to be a lot of lying."

"At least it wouldn't be," she said.

"Yes, although it is, as I said, a half a loaf. I don't suppose Starfleet scheduling would allow more than that anyway," he looked out the window as the lights of San Francisco began to wink on. The Golden Gate Bridge was nearby, shimmering as the August day settled into a cool night.

"Reed? Hello! _Earth to Reed_."

"What? Oh, sorry. What were you saying again?"

"I said – I wanted to know what you'd do if this arrangement never gets off the ground, and never happens."

"Oh. I, uh, I don't know," But he looked tired, and older, and set his mouth in a hard edge as he looked at the city. The lights shone in his eyes and he seemed to be searching.

"Just don't – promise me you won't die for love," she said.

"I don't think anyone does that these days."

"Sure they do. Remember my classmate Owen?"

"Aussie chap, right?"

"Yep. He and my other classmate, Blair – they went out for a year or so. He was totally all over her. He wanted it to be forever and all of that. Drove him to cheat on tests because he was failing out of school and they'd be separated. He wasn't thinking with the right head, know what I mean?" she said, "And when we left the _Enterprise_, he was found out, and expelled. She broke up with him – she was angry that he was endangering everyone's career, and may have made it harder, when we were all sick, to get us cured. Although now I doubt he had much to do with that – I think that was just a tough thing and it was almost coincidental. But it didn't matter to her. She couldn't trust him anymore, so she said _sayonara_."

"And?"

"And it was on the news. You really should pay more attention to the news, Reed. We left the _Enterprise_ at the end of July of last year. And in early August – it was the fourth, I'm pretty sure – he hanged himself."

"My God."

"She's engaged to someone else now. His big sacrifice was for nothing. So don't do that, Reed. Don't get to that point, okay? 'Cause I might miss you a little bit."

=/\=

The morning came. They were back in quarters.

He came in and woke her by kissing her cheek. She looked up and smiled at him tentatively, "Hello."

"I missed that," Doug said, "Really, really missed that like crazy."

"Me, too."

"I was thinking. Let's go to Andoria. Let's leave this all behind. You'll, you'll get the cuff back and give it back to the Calafans. It is their artifact, after all. We'll sell _Reversal_. You'll start another place. I'll reup with Starfleet and get involved with the defense of the new embassy. I could be home nights and weekends. We'd forget it all ever happened. Patch it all up again and make it right."

"Doug, yesterday morning, you said you thought we were through. And then you said you wanted to work on things, and now you seem to still want to work on things. But, well, where is your mind at?"

"It's on the side of working on things," he said.

"And are you gonna just try to kill him again the next time you see him?" she asked.

_Kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick Kick Kick Kick.  
__  
_"Partly it was him. Partly I saw Donnelly again. Weird. Just Donnelly, and I hit the same mode I was in back then. All fourteen of them – all fourteen – whenever I, I killed a guy. It was because, well, it was because he had something I didn't. Something I wanted really, really badly. Donnelly had a higher pay grade. Geming Sulu had a spot on the _Enterprise_."

"And Malcolm has?"

"Your heart, or some of it, at least. And I want it back."

"And you just want to go to Andoria and forget everything."

"Yes."

"But you're already forgetting someone. There's a certain unnamed child. He's going to pull you back. And you should let him pull you back. He will always be a reminder."

"He can, uh, fit in somehow. I dunno how. But he will."

"And what of Joss? Lafa II is the only home he's ever known. He'd lose Yimar, too. And we would. And sell _Reversal_? Sell it? When we've worked so hard to get it up and running?"

"That's your work, not mine, not really."

"_Reversal _was our dream. And you just want to toss it away," she said.

_Kick Kick.  
_  
"You can work anywhere. You've told me that."

"I love the Calafan people. I love our home. And our friends. And you have friends there, too. I know it's not easy for you to make friends, Doug. So you'll just toss them out as well?"

"We have to start fresh. No reminders."

"That kid is going to be a reminder."

_Kick Kick Kick Kick.  
_**  
**"He won't remind me, Lili."

"Yes. He will. And you will have a connection to Melissa. And I won't have a connection to Malcolm."

"But I don't want a connection to her. I'll forego that to be with you."

"Doug, do you love her? I keep asking you and you keep evading the question."

"Stop asking me that," he looked away and she couldn't see his eyes.

"You – if we go to Andoria, you get everything you want. You get this fresh start – or sorta fresh start. You get a new job. You get me far away from Malcolm. And you get to keep Melissa as well. You get it all."

_Kick kick kick kick Kick Kick Kick._

"You'll have plenty," he said, "You have Joss. And Pete. And, and me. Can't I be enough for you?"

"No more than I can be enough for you."

"_What_?" he asked angrily.

"I'm not enough. Because I'll answer the question for you, since you won't. You _do _love her. Even if it's only a little bit. You do. There's one day, when you're fine. And you're minding your own business. And then, suddenly, the next day, you're in love. And you didn't plan it and maybe didn't want it. But it's happened."

"I need some air," he said, and walked out.

=/\=

Melissa was on a call with Norri, and said, "I think this might be good for me. I kinda already have the whole day-night thing going anyway. Daytimes, I think of you, and love you and miss you tremendously. And then I go out at nights and I look for guys. What if I had just one guy?"

"I'd know where you were," Norri said, "That counts for something. I have definitely worried about you."

"Yeah. I know – I don't want another guy. He was good to me. I'm sure he still will be. I'd stay out of trouble."

"I'd say you're already in trouble," Norri said, patting her own flat belly, "But I can see the advantage."

"But you! It doesn't seem fair," Melissa said.

"It's not necessarily _un_fair," Norri replied, "You'd be sleeping. Everybody sleeps. I can't get into your dreams. All that's changing now, really, is that I know, more or less, what those dreams are. But you and I, we have the big thing, the big love."

"Yes," she smiled, "And we're gonna be parents."

"Yes. Thomas, right? You like that."

"Yes. Or Tracy," Melissa said.

"And I'll come to the _Enterprise_ after that wedding is over, and meet everyone?"

"Of course," Melissa said, "I get to show you off," she smiled.

"I do love you, you know."

"I love you, too. And him, too."

"And him, too," Norri said, "I hope he loves you back, Mellie," she closed the connection.

There was a chime at the door, "Come in," Melissa said.

It was Doug, "Am I bothering you?"

"No. Not at all."

"I, um, I don't know why I'm here."

"I do," she got up and kissed him.

"I can't do that. Can't," he said, turning away, "It's all cheating. It's wrong."

"It's open," she said, "If we consent, it's not cheating."

"I wanted it to be different with her," Doug said, "Change who I was. Be true."

"I know," Melissa said.

"I have to go," he said.

=/\=

"Y'know," Pamela said over breakfast, "I think you and he would be getting the same amount of time, actually."

"How do you figure that?"

"Because, well, you sleep for eight hours, right? And you work for eight or so and they don't even work together. And then it's the other eight."

"Perhaps," Malcolm allowed, fingering the cuff a little between bites. His omelet was good but missing something.

"And what are those hours filled with? She cleans dishes, changes dirty diapers and probably takes a transport to and from work, or drives. She cooks, too, right?"

"Right. And better than the chef here," he said.

She smiled, "You really _are_ bitten. But, really, none of that is terribly romantic stuff. I think you're getting the better end of the deal, Reed."

"He called it party time. No responsibilities."

"You're a Starfleet guy. If this was conventional, you'd have to go flying off to this place and that crisis. You wouldn't be home for report cards and first steps, or to get the furniture moved. Don't knock this and keep thinking you're second best," she said, "I think you're getting a very good deal here."

"I think it all depends on whether he thinks he's getting a good deal. He seems to be holding veto power over all of our futures," Malcolm said, "Pass the salt, will you, please?"

=/\=

Doug got back to their quarters quickly. She was dressing for the wedding.

"I need to know," he said breathlessly, "Will you give him up?"

She shook her head, "I _can't_."

"Then – I didn't want it to be this way. But it has to. We'll go back to the Lafa System. And on the way, we'll pretend and we'll hold it together for Joss's sake. But when we are back there, I'll file for divorce. I will go to Andoria and work. And you can stay on Lafa II. And we'll, we'll work something out with the kids. And you can, uh, do whatever you want."

_Kick kick kick kick kick kick Kick Kick Kick.  
_  
"And for this wedding?" she asked.

"We will smile and pretend like nothing is happening. We will not ruin Jenny's day," he said, "And it'll be practice for how much we'll have to hold things together in front of Joss."

30

"Communiqué coming in for you from Admiral Gardner, Captain," Hoshi said.

"I'll take it in my Ready Room, thanks." When the connection was ready, Jonathan said, "Go ahead."

"Jonathan! I thought you'd be interested in this, seeing as you're heading back there soon."

"Oh?"

"The Lafa System. We're looking to establish and defend a more regular trade route through there."

"It's near Klingon space," Jonathan said.

"Yes, that's definitely one reason. We certainly need to watch our, ahem, neighbors. But there are people who are looking to settle there. It's a new frontier, but it also isn't – it's not exactly what anyone would call a wilderness. The people are friendly and we are looking to normalize relations even more. Establish more of a human presence, even before this damned war is over. Those people might end up having to fight beside us at some point. It would be good if we had a solid foundation with them."

"I understand that's the idea with most of our allies, or our hoped-for allies," Jonathan said, "And, um, any specific reason to be mentioning this now?"

"Well, I understand you know the homesteaders who are already there. The Becketts, right?"

"Yes, I do," Jonathan said.

"And if the additional settlements go well, we'll put together an official outpost. We might even open an office of the envoy – maybe even an embassy someday. We need a good presence with our allies."

"Understood. The homesteaders have good relations with the locals. They own a restaurant and are doing well with it, so there's an interest on the ground in us humans, as well."

"Great, that's a good basis for a friendship between peoples. Always helps when it's mutual like that. The other thing is, I heard about the training class that went wrong."

"Yes. I don't have a way to discipline Beckett – he doesn't work for Starfleet anymore. Good thing there was no permanent damage," Jonathan said, shaking his head.

"It did get me to wondering, though," The Admiral said, "I was thinking, while I was watching it – he's got talent that we should be tapping. That guy should reup with Starfleet. I'd rather see him knocking out Klingons and Gorn than our own people. What the _hell_ is he doing retired?"

=/\=

The ceremony was scheduled for the afternoon. It was a beautiful day on Oberon. Like with most domed communities, Oberon Central Control took local radiation and converted it to heat energy as a byproduct of massive life support. Therefore it was usually hot, and not just because it was late August. Even January on Oberon was hot.

Lili and Brian put the finishing touches on the food, "You've got the _lobster en croute_ hors d'oeuvres ready, right?" she asked.

_Kick.__  
_  
"Yes, of course. With lots of ice. Stop fussing," he replied.

"Well, you're my number two guy," she said, "I know you've got it under control. You've gotten really good at this, Brian. You have a good career ahead of you."

"Thanks. I learned from the best."

Emotional again, she just hugged him in response.

=/\=

Anyone connected with the _Enterprise_ was wearing a dress uniform. Pamela stuck out like a sore thumb, and much of the crew had stared when she got onto the shuttle. She and Malcolm found a seat near the back of the church, on the bride's side, "You look positively demure," he said to her quietly.

"Heh, you should see the thong I'm wearing," she smiled wickedly and was pleased that a few of his coworkers had overheard her.

"Now, you know our arrangement," he replied quietly. He didn't want to look at her thongs – not anymore. But he did still redden a bit. He was still a man, after all.

She was wearing a light flouncy flower print dress with an ecru background and matching ecru pumps. Her hair was down and curling, snaking around. And then there was the hat! It was a wide-brimmed affair with peach and pink floral trim. She _did_ look demure.

"Please, we're in a church," she said, "I am a good girl. _Until I'm not__."_

The music began.

There were two bridesmaids. One was clearly Frank's sister. The other was unrelated, possibly a schoolmate of Jenny's. She had a little girl by the hand, who was strewing rose petals untidily.

Then came Joss, whose hand was held by a groomsman. Joss was walking, oh so very slowly, carrying a pillow with rings sewn on it. Careful, careful, oh so carefully. He knew he'd been charged with an incredible amount of responsibility, and his nearly one-year-old brain was overloaded with concentrating on the task. He was a solemn as a pallbearer.

Another groomsman came out, probably related somehow on Jenny's side. Then the best man, obviously Frank's brother.

And then, _oh boy_.

She looked like Jennifer – slender, peaches and cream complexion and green eyes. Wearing a dark green gown and carrying a smallish bouquet. Not Jennifer. Her twin.

"That's Claire," Hoshi whispered to Aidan, who was seated next to her.

"Niiice," Aidan said. He filed that information away for later.

Then Frank. He was a good-looking guy, dark hair and eyes, nervous in an old-style tux, calla lily and greenery pinned to his lapel. He waited.

And waited.

And waited.

=/\=

They were in a back room.

Doug looked at Jennifer. She was in her gown, irritable and pacing. The gown was creamy white, close fitting and strapless. The train came back in a fishtail, making her resemble a red-haired mermaid.

"You look beautiful," he finally ventured.

"I can't go through with this," she said, "Not after what I've done. I've cheated on Frank. I've cheated, I've cheated."

"You're gonna mess up your makeup. And believe me, I can't fix that," he said.

"I cheated. I've sinned. I've done him wrong."

"Tell him, Jenny. Just tell him. And see what happens."

"No. I can't tell him. Nobody's allowed to tell him," she was getting more frantic, "God, I feel sick."

"Well, barf if you have to. Just, uh, not on the dress," Doug suggested, "Look, nothing I am saying is making you laugh at all."

"No. I'm not gonna laugh right now, Doug. I feel awful. This is supposed to be the happiest day of my life and I feel horrible."

"Well, things happened. I don't think he was expecting an untouched bride. Was he?"

"No, he wasn't. But I promised him I'd always be faithful! How about you and Lili? How are you keeping it all together? I mean, you both, well, you _did_."

"Yeah," he sighed, "We _did_."

=/\=

"Where's Aunt Jenny?" Joss finally asked in the silent church, the question they all had on their minds.

Frank looked around, finally settling on the Captain, "Sir," he said, "do you, um, is there something I should know?" he asked.

"Cold feet, I suppose. Give her a few more minutes," Jonathan said quietly.

"I heard, uh, there was an incident with some really big ship. All of these species and their, their offspring. Maybe that's got her upset. She's obsessed with that news story, and always seems to be looking for updates, any scrap of info she can find. She, uh, she wants to start a family right away. Maybe she's upset that some people were, were kinda forced to do that," Frank mused.

"I don't know," Jonathan said cautiously, "It's been in the news a lot lately, as more of the information comes out."

"Yes. And she's so sensitive," Frank said, "It could be that or a thousand other things, I figure. I just want her to feel that everything's okay. She's got a right to be happy."

"Then tell her."

=/\=

"You two are doing okay, aren't you?" Jenny asked.

"Uhh."

"Doug, if you can't work things out, what kind of hope have I got?"

He didn't get a chance to answer as Frank came in.

"Look, uh, honey, tell me what's bothering you," he said.

"I'll just wait outside," Doug said.

"Frank, I can't go through with this."

"It's a lot of people," he said, "I can understand. Maybe we could have a smaller ceremony later."

"That's not it. I, I've done wrong by you."

"How so?"

"Those, those people who were made to breed? That news story? There were humans on that ship. And, and I was one of them," she looked out the window. Telling him didn't have the immediate relieving effect she had been hoping for.

"No wonder every time there's an update on the news, you seem to jump. It, um, you didn't want to do it, right?"

"No. And, and I tried to stop it. But I _couldn't_," she said, teary.

"Were you at least, uh, whoever you were with, did he, uh, did he treat you okay?" Frank asked.

"Yes," she said very quietly, "I wasn't so nice to him, but he wasn't mean. Didn't hit me or anything like that."

"So I can, uh, I – I'm obviously not thrilled that this happened. But it did. At least you weren't hurt by the guy."

"Frank, I can't marry you. I've been covering it up and scared to death you'd find out. And now that you know, well, I still think we shouldn't get married. I've sinned and cheated and it's like it's all under false pretenses."

"'Course we can still get married. What's putting this idea in your head?"

"I'm a good Catholic. We're both good Catholics. Despite the, uh, premarital stuff. But if I cover this up, what else am I gonna cover up and deny? How can we build a marriage on, on this?"

"You can always tell me what's going on. _Always_. When I asked you to marry me, I didn't mean it was just this one-time offer that could be rescinded at any time."

"But Frank, there's other stuff."

"Tell me afterwards. After everyone's gone and it's just us, okay? And whatever it is, we will face it as we need to, and do whatever we need to do. But right now," he pointed back to where everyone was waiting, "let's do this."

"You sure?" she asked.

"Yes. I'll go back out there. You, um, dry your eyes. And get that guy to get you down that aisle for a full Catholic mass and everything. Because I'll be there. I will _always_ be there."

=/\=

Cocktails were quick afterwards – the real reception was scheduled for that evening. Lili ran around more than she should have, and ended up sitting and fanning herself. Joss and the flower girl got along pretty well until she smacked him with her little purse. He came to Lili, crying a bit. She shushed him but it was hot and he was getting squirmy.

She couldn't wait to get back and change and rest a little, but they were supposed to meet Norri.

=/\=

The meeting was a quick one. Norri was a pleasant woman, a little younger than Melissa. They shook hands all around and she presented Joss with a little bookmark.

"What's this? You didn't have to give him anything," Lili said.

"No, definitely not," Doug said, bristling a little, "We don't, uh, need anything."

"I'm an editor," Norri explained, "This is for data passage to PADDs. It's got all sorts of classic children's literature on it - _Tom Sawyer, Alice in Wonderland, Treasure Island, Charlotte's Web,_ that kind of thing."

"Charlotte," Lili said quietly.

_Kick Kick.  
_  
"She was a spider," Norri said, "Do _you_ like spiders?" she bent over and asked Joss.

"Spiders?" asked Joss.

"I don't know that he's ever seen one," Doug said.

"They're small," Melissa said, "And kinda crawly. Wild animals," she glanced at Doug and quickly looked away.

"Ducks!" Joss exclaimed.

"He saw ducks when we were in San Francisco," Lili said, "Seems he loves most animals."

"Oh, then I'm glad I got him what I did. There are animal stories in there. You might want to wait before you read _Black Beauty_, though. There's a lot of cruelty in that one."

"We'll be careful not to, uh, expose him to anything inappropriate," Lili said, looking over at Doug quickly, "He can get upset when there's tension in the air."

_Kick Kick Kick Kick.  
_  
"So can a lot of people."

"_Definitely_," Melissa agreed, perhaps a little too quickly.

"Look, We're gonna go. I can see you're in between wedding bits," Norri said, "Have fun," she and Melissa left.

When the door had closed, she turned to Melissa and said, "Yanno, it is obvious that she is anxious and fretful and you, you're kinda nervous."

"_Me_?"

"Yep. You want this to work, and so does she. But he's putting the brakes on it. He's exercising veto power over everyone, eh? It must be nice to have such power."

=/\=

The reception was a grand affair, the ballroom capacious and elegant. Everyone milled around until Chip got on the communications system, "For those of you, who don't know me, my name is Chandler Masterson and tonight I am your disc jockey. I will be taking requests, of course, but you're on your own for weepy dedications. But first we have the bride and groom's first dance as a married couple. This song is old, bear with me. And I hope you'll get on the floor too. Show them you support 'em."

There was a slight pause, and then Dusty Springfield's voice filled the room.

Now, when you're in love, a love song is a pleasant enough thing. And your own special song – that can be the sweetest sound. But when you're not, when your heart is breaking, a love song is a far different thing.

And so, for those whose hearts were breaking, or were already broken into pieces, every word was like a needle, and every line like a dagger.

And there were a lot of broken hearts.

_I don't know what it is  
That makes me love you so  
I only know I never wanna let you go  
'Cause you started something  
Oh, can't you see  
That ever since we met  
You've had a hold on me  
It happens to be true  
I only want to be with you  
_  
Jenny was freer than she'd been in ages. She happily danced – and after the word "_true_", she shook her hips a few times and the mermaid fishtail swung behind her. Huge, huge grin on her face, Frank twirled her. They'd been practicing. They were _good._

"Captain, I'll take the initiative," It was Jenny's mother, "Shall we?"

"Uh, okay," he said, glancing over at Deb, who was standing near where Chip was DJing, looking around, a bit lost, "I'm not very good at this."

"I'll keep track of my feet," she said, "I'm Eleanor."

=/\=

She could see what was happening. He was about to use it, but she grabbed it instead, "Gimme that. Someone else needs it more than you do," she got up to deliver the article.

_It doesn't matter where you go or what you do  
I wanna spend each moment of the day with you  
Oh, look what has happened with just one kiss  
I never knew that I could be in love like this  
It's crazy but it's true  
I only want to be with you  
_  
It was after the word _"__this__" _that Lili lost it completely. She was already hot and teary. But that line _"I never knew that I could be in love like this"_ – that one did it.

There was an aroma she recognized. A handkerchief was thrust near her face. "Here," The hand holding it had a perfect manicure, dark plum polish, the color of a bruise.

Lili looked up. The handkerchief smelled just like Malcolm, "Thank you," she said softly, and then used it.

=/\=

Malcolm was glad he had a spare. He needed it, and covered up by blowing his nose, "Weddings. All those flowers," he said when Aidan walked by.

=/\=

_You stopped and smiled at me  
Asked if I'd care to dance  
I fell into your open arms  
and I didn't stand a chance  
_  
"I always cry at weddings," Hoshi said when Shelby asked her what was wrong.

=/\=

_Now, listen, honey  
I just wanna be beside you everywhere  
As long as we're together, honey  
I don't care  
'Cause you started something  
Oh, can't you see  
That ever since we met  
You've had a hold on me  
No matter what you do  
I only want to be with you  
_  
Doug gulped down another whiskey. His third? Fourth? He'd forgotten to keep track.

=/\=

_You stopped and smiled at me  
Asked me if I'd care to dance  
I fell into your open arms  
And I didn't stand a chance  
_  
Tripp stared at the couples on the floor, "I got me a headache the size o' Florida," he said when Travis came over.

"Me, too," said Travis.

=/\=

_Now hear me, honey  
I just wanna be beside you everywhere  
As long as we're together, honey  
I don't care  
'Cause you started something  
Oh, can't you see  
That ever since we met  
You've had a hold on me  
No matter what you do  
I only want to be with you  
I said, no matter, no matter what you do  
I only want to be with you  
_  
Deb just stared. Chip cued up a much slower dance and set things to go on auto for a while, "Hey, I hear you're joining us on the night shift," he said.

"Yeah, Movie Guy," she said, a little fidgety. She didn't want to lose sight of him. At least he wasn't dancing with the mother of the bride anymore.

"Well, we need more pretty faces at night. And you are far better-looking than Hamidi," he said.

"Huh. Uh, thanks. I think."

"You okay?"

"Me, uh, I'm just, I'm getting over someone," she admitted.

"Yeah. Yanno, love songs – they really, really stink when you're getting over someone. They just make you feel ten times worse," he said gently.

"Yeah."

=/\=

"Next victim," Eleanor Crossman said, scanning the room. Ah, the guy at the bar, "Dance?" she asked.

"Uh, I guess so," Doug said. The alcohol made it possible at all. Otherwise, he hated that, and never seemed to be able to do it right.

=/\=

Pamela scanned the room. No one seemed overly interesting, just a bunch of lummoxes in dress uniforms, "Wasted a perfectly good dress and manicure," she said, looking at her perfect plum-colored nails. She bent over by the bar. José Torres noticed the stunning blonde in the black leather dress with no back, and came over.

=/\=

Brian sat next to Yimar. At least it wasn't the kids' table, although Joss was with them. After having been clonked by Gina Stone, he wanted nothing more to do with the flower girl or her purse.

"Do you dance?" Yimar asked.

"Not very well."

"We – my people – we dance sometimes. This way is too slow, though. Do you think everyone who's dancing right now is in love?"

"Uh, I dunno. I don't think Doug is in love with Mrs. Crossman."

"Yeah, I'm sure you're right. Do they all at least like each other?"

"I guess so," Brian allowed, "Otherwise, why would everybody be touching that much?"

"Would you, um, if you liked me, that is, would you do that?" she asked.

"I should, uh, make sure the prime rib gets served right," he said, getting up.

=/\=

"So I was thinking," Aidan said, leaning over where Tripp and Travis were sitting, "there are three of them, and three of us."

"Three of what?" Tripp asked, still headachy.

"Bridesmaids. But hands off the twin. I mean, man oh man. Another Crossman! It's like, ha, that is one serious movie premise right there," Aidan said.

"Movie?" Travis asked, not following him.

"Yeah. You know – beautiful twins. Can't tell who's who so ya kinda, you know, split the difference – that sorta thing. Don't tell me you never thought of Crossman that way," Aidan replied.

"Oh. Uh, no," Travis said, "Never," he lied.

"The hottest girl on the ship and you never, uh? You're hopeless. Anyway, there's the Ramirez girl – she's kinda young – and the flower girl's mother. I have it on good authority that she is a single mother. So, whaddaya say? I need wingmen."

"Include me out," Tripp said, "I got a phase cannon hitting my skull every few seconds."

"Travis?" Aidan asked, "We could include Masterson, I bet."

"Not me," Travis said, "I'm just here for the prime rib."

"Suit yourselves. Maybe I'll just take my chances with all of them," Aidan said, getting up, "Ladies!"

=/\=

Dave Ryan was one of the groomsmen. He came over to Lili and introduced himself, "Frank and I were college roommates. I understand you were Jenny's roommate on the _Enterprise_."

"Yes, that's right," Lili said; managing a small smile, "Thank you for taking my son down the aisle," she adjusted her sleeve. It was the same blue as her dress, but sheer, and her tattoos were translucently visible under it. But right now it was too hot to have sleeves, even filmy ones.

"He took his responsibility so seriously! I hope nobody tells him those rings were fakes."

"They'd better not, or he'll be one disappointed little boy. He'll want to do it again."

"You live in the Lafa System, right?"

"Yes," she said.

"My wife and I are thinking of maybe settling in a place like that. Tell me what it's like."

"Cooler than here," she said, fanning herself, "And the people are wonderful."

_Kick Kick.  
_

=/\=

Deb still stood there, but Chip had to get back to his DJing work, so he left her there.

Jonathan came over, "I, uh, I was thinking. You might want to train as a pilot. I'll be needing one for the night shift. Would you do that?"

"I, I don't know. I've had a lot of changes in my life lately."

"Well, think about it. I need someone I can trust. Deb," he said very quietly, "I'm sorry it's all like this. I wish there was a way that life could go on without you being hurt."

"I'm Security," she said, "Wily like a cat. And beyond pain."

He left.

Chip got everything back on auto and came back. He hadn't missed the exchange.

"Look, um, it can be tough to get into the swing of a new schedule. I, uh, shift starts at zero hundred hours as you, as you know. So every night, at, like, nineteen hundred, I get up and go to the gym. Then I shower and have breakfast. You're, uh, you're welcome to join me for any of that."

"Even the shower?"

"Huh. Uh, maybe after you're a little more over the guy you're trying to get over, okay?"

"Yeah," she smiled a little at him, light brown eyes suddenly noticeable to him.

"So, uh, tomorrow, then?"

"Yeah. Just the gym and the breakfast. Not the other thing, uh, for now."

He went back to his DJing tasks and announced, "Now, I wanna see everybody out there! This next one – I know you all know it – it's by _The Sweet Cupcakes_ – and it's dedicated to the ladies of the _NX-01_ and their many admirers. And I count myself among them. Here it is – _'Tough Girl'_!"

The music started, and he looked over and saw three bridesmaids turn on their heels as one and walk away from Aidan, good and fast. Aidan. Best-looking guy on the ship – _everybody_ knew that. And he was just big, tall, goofy Chip Masterson. He balled his right hand into a fist and pointed it up by his chest, then suddenly jerked it downwards and simultaneously said "_Yes_!" through his teeth.


	11. Chapters 31end

31

The next few nights, they had the same dream.

_They met, and smiled at each other, tentatively and shyly, like teenagers at a mixer._

"I can't sneak around. I can't," she said on the first of those nights.

"I know, Lili-Flower. That part is definitely wrong."

"We'll be back at Lafa II soon enough," she said, "And then, he thinks he wants to file for divorce."

"I never wanted you and Joss to have pain."

"I know."

"Whatever I have caused, oh, I so did not wish for that to happen."

"The cracks were already there," she said.

"No sneaking," he said, "But you, you will tell me if, well, whatever happens with your marriage, yes?"

"Yes. Of course," That could be a happy end to it, but she couldn't quite see it behind the fog of pain she was feeling.

The dream ended this way every night.

He would put his hand on her, in an act far more intimate than a kiss.

He placed it on her belly. _  
_

=/\=

September second arrived – Joss's birthday. And Malcolm's. Lili had promised to bake a cake.

But her PADD was flashing. She took a look – a letter from Dayah.

_Emmiz and I have wed. I hope he understands he will be taking care of an old woman in a few decades. But I am happy, despite my many familial complications._

I hope you are happy as well.

– Dayah  
  
The letter from the Xindi was not upsetting in and of itself, but it did remind Lili of Erell, the Andorian baby who had not lived to see the end of her first day. She stood in quarters and wept.

Doug came in, looking for clothes, "We got his birthday today," he said, "Can you hold it together?"

That was all the comfort he offered – small comfort indeed.

"Yes, I think so. I will, I'll make sure to," she said. She dried her eyes and left.

=/\=

Cake baking, Lili sat down, "Brian, can I ask you something?"

"I guess," he was busy taking the dishes out of the sanitizer and putting them away.

"I don't mean to embarrass you, but, do you like my babysitter?"

"She's a nice enough girl, I guess," he reddened and almost dropped a bowl.

"I think she has a crush on you."

"Oh. Um, well, she's underage, right?"

"In our morality, yes," Lili conceded.

"Well, whose morality applies to us?" he asked, "I mean, aren't there species that still have child brides? Do we go by their rules, or ours?"

"I guess we do what we think is most right," she allowed, "All the while hurting the smallest number of people."

"Assuming that all works together," A bell dinged. He said, "Cake's ready. You do the decorating. I still haven't gotten the hang of using the pastry bag and tip."

=/\=

The party was held in the Observation Lounge, and was crowded. Lili hadn't gotten a chance to cook at all on the _Enterprise_ until then, so there was a definite demand for her cake.

She and Doug arrived with Joss. They put on their best fake smiles – Joss's was real, of course – and looked around at the assembled guests.

Brian brought out the cake with two candles on it. It was decorated with a picture of a huge shuttle on it, as Lili had promised. There was also, in the lower right corner, in green and blue icing, a bit of a jungle scene. Malcolm recognized it but kept the information to himself – it was day lilies and reeds.

"What is the significance of the candles?" T'Pol asked Jonathan.

"You blow them out and make a wish," he replied.

"Seems a rather less than assured manner of making a wish come true," she said.

"Shh. It's supposed to be magic. Joss still believes in that," he said.

The guests sang and then the two of them blew out the candles. Lili and Brian started to cut pieces of the cake. Joss was jumping up and down and clamoring for a piece.

Malcolm stood off to the side but then came over, "Joss, may I speak with you a moment?"

Doug glared but Lili held his arm a little, "Allow this," she said softly.

"Now, Joss," Malcolm said, kneeling so as to face the child directly, "We are the hosts of this party. And all of these lovely people are our guests. And that means that we serve them first. And we must thank them all for coming to see us today."

"Don't try to raise my kid, Reed," Doug said.

"Doug. Not now," Lili said, looking at him, "Just wait a minute."

Malcolm looked back at Joss, "Now, who would you give the first piece to? The person you love the very most in the whole wide world?"

"'Ommy!"

"All right. Then, good, take that over to her. Very carefully now."

Joss slowly delivered his package, and then came back, "Mackum!"

"Yes, yes, that's me. Now, who's next? Someone you love very, very much."

"Daddy!"

"Yes, that's right. Now, here, let's give him a really, really big piece. He's a, he's a very big fellow, your father is. And he should get a big piece. There, go on."

While Joss was delivering, Lili and Brian handed out other pieces to be passed – otherwise it would have taken hours.

"Ready!" Joss said.

"All right, now, who would you like to give the next piece to?"

"Yim!"

"All right, yes, your babysitter – she's a nice girl. There you go."

"B'ian!"

"Ah, good. Mr. Delacroix has been making very nice sandwiches for you, I understand. Now, who's next?"

"Uhh. Aunt Hoshi!"

"Yes, yes, Hoshi's such a kind lady. Now, Joss, Hoshi understands lots and lots of words. If you talk to her, she shall understand you."

Joss walked over very slowly.

"Um, thanks," Hoshi said, reddening. Joss kissed her on the cheek before going back.

"Now, Joss," Malcolm said, "You've got a lot of pretty ladies admiring you. But you don't have to give this piece to a pretty lady if you don't want to. Would you like to give it to Captain Archer, maybe?"

When he returned, Malcolm straightened up for a second, "Ah, Joss, you should give the next piece to Miss Melissa over there. Do you see her? She's standing right by Mister Torres. She is going to become very special to you."

Joss came over, "Missa," he said.

"Thank you," she said, looking down at him. She reached out and tousled his hair a bit.

He shook his head afterwards and ran back, "Ready!"

"Hmm, it looks like there are only two pieces left. Does everyone have a piece?" Malcolm asked. They did, "All right now, there's a piece with still a lot of the picture of the shuttle and a piece with the kind of jungle scene on it. I will take the piece with the greenery on it."

The task completed, Joss dug in with gusto.

Malcolm moved more slowly and retreated to look out a window. He looked down at the cake and tasted a bit. Pineapple, just like she'd promised. He watched Joss run around and thank people a bit, a toddler's quick thanks, complete with hugs and kisses. T'Pol was unfazed, even when he called her _Ears_, an act that mortified a very apologetic Lili.

The party was pleasant and the cake was tasty but Malcolm didn't smile much, just looked, alternately out the window and at the scene in front of him. Outside, looking in.

This did not escape one person's gaze.

"Hey, there's a gift box here," Torres said, "It's heavy. It says it's for Joss. There's, um, no one signed the tag."

"A present!" Lili exclaimed, "Whoever did this, you shouldn't have."

The box was brought over. It was wrapped in turquoise paper. Without even opening it, Lili had an idea of who it was from.

It was jars of peanut butter – some smooth and some crunchy. There was a jar of almond butter, and another of cashew butter. There were jars of grape jelly and strawberry jam and one lone jar of orange marmalade. The jars were all from a large store on Hyperion, but the marmalade was from Fortnum & Mason. To confirm her thoughts, Lili looked at the gift tag. True, there was no information on the giver. But she recognized the neat, cramped handwriting, which confirmed her thoughts. It was Malcolm's. She silently smiled at him and mouthed her thanks. He nodded back.

=/\=

"Captain, I was thinking of reupping with Starfleet," Doug said, "Assuming what happened at the class didn't totally blow my chances."

"No, I don't think that did, although you'll need to rein in your temper, I think," Jonathan said.

"I'd like to, uh, get work on Andoria. I hear they'll have an embassy to defend."

"Well, they will. But I'd've thought you'd prefer the Lafa System. There are going to be settlers there," Jonathan explained, "They'll need protection. Wouldn't your family prefer that?"

"Yes," Lili said softly.

Doug looked back at her, "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Jonathan said, "I think it's a great idea. You know, you should be able to get a serious commission – probably as Captain of your unit, seeing as you were a Lieutenant Commander when you retired. Plus you probably know the area better than any human."

"So we'd be the same rank?" Doug asked.

"It looks that way to me," Jonathan replied.

"Huh. I think I like these merit promotions," Doug said.

Lili went over to talk to Yimar, "I think you should just take the perrazin by the horns with Brian."

"Huh?" replied the teenager, "Why would I want to touch a dangerous animal?"

"It's a human expression. Just take the initiative and stop beating around the bush. Uh, just make the first move."

"Ohh," Yimar said, bracelet glinting in the light of the Observation Lounge.

"Is that bracelet very important to you?" Lili asked.

"This thing? No, not really. I, uh, you won't tell my mother, will you?"

"Tell her what?"

"I got it when my friends and I were playing hooky one day."

"Ah, I see. Well, you shouldn't do that, Yimar. Although I got in trouble a bit at your age. Can I, uh, can I have it? I can get you a new one – and a lot of other things in thanks for everything you've done here – and then you can tell your mother the truth about how you got it. Okay?"

"Uh, sure," Yimar slipped the bangle off and handed it to Lili.

=/\=

Party over, Lili and Doug sat in quarters, "Can I, um, can I ask you something?" he said.

"Sure."

"Do you want to work on things?"

"Yes. I do."

"I do too," he admitted, "I don't want our sons to grow up with only a little bit of one or the other of us. I don't want to have to divvy up our friends."

"Any other reason?"

"You know it. And I don't say it enough. But yes, of course – it's also because I love you," he said, "I want us to work, to pull together. In, in whatever, uh, configuration that it becomes."

"Pull?"

"Yeah. It's like pulling in a catch, a net of fish, I guess. I, I had thought there would be only, uh, two people in the crew. But maybe it's a bigger boat than I'd thought," he said.

She leaned over and took his face in her hands, and they kissed.

Yimar, Brian and Joss walked in, "Oops!" Yimar said, "We can get the stegosaurus later."

The three of them walked out, but Lili and Doug didn't notice. They hadn't stopped kissing.

=/\=

Yimar put Joss down once they were outside of the room, and he scampered to the other end of the hall.

She looked at Brian, "Take the perrazin by the horns," she repeated to herself quietly.

"Huh?"

She grabbed his face and kissed him. He did not put up a struggle. When they broke away, he looked at her.

"We shoulda done that earlier," she said, "Now we should sleep together."

"What? Uh, Yimar, anything more than that, and Doug'll kill me."

"Just to dream? Honestly, Brian, I dunno where you get these ideas that it's anything other than dreaming!"

=/\=

The two of them finally broke apart, "Oh, my God, I so missed that," Lili said.

"Me, too," he kissed her hand, "It's almost like when we first got together."

"Oh?"

"It's, uh, it's almost like a séance," he said.

"Huh, way to make a gal feel great," she said.

"No, no, no, it's a good thing," Doug said, backpedalling a bit, "See, the other universe, it was a charnel house. I was one of the walking dead, or at least the walking wounded. And I would touch your hand, or kiss you, or even just see you, and I could contact the living."

"You're away from that now."

"Yes. And I never want to go back to it. I, I know I've been pretty stubborn. But it's been because I wanted everything to be different. See, I didn't tell you this, but on the other side of the pond? I, I'm not proud of this."

"You can tell me anything," she took his hand.

"Yeah, I know. Well, on the other side, I cheated on every girlfriend I had."

"Even Jennifer?"

"Even Jennifer. With, uh, with the gal who runs the Botany Lab here."

"Shelby? The ex-ballet dancer?"

"Belly dancer?" he asked.

"No_. Ballet_," she articulated better, "Her? I thought you liked a little more, uhm, heft."

"Well, sure. But she was a bit heftier there, too. She wasn't a former ballet dancer. She, um, she was brought on board to pilot. But before that, she did have a profession."

"Oh?"

"The world's oldest one."

"Ohhh."

"And even with Jennifer I could not keep my hands off Shelby. It's true. I cheated on Jenny, I cheated on Susan, on Christine, on all of them."

"And all of them with Shelby?"

"No, I didn't know her until later," he said.

"Why are we talking about her again?" she kissed him.

"Because I just wanted you to know why this has been so very hard for me, Lili. I wanted us to be different."

"We are. You didn't stray – that's such an awful word, as if you were a dog – you didn't, didn't do what you did because you wanted to. But it had unintended consequences. And the same thing happened on my end. Unintended effects."

"Yes. About those," Doug said, "He, I was watching him today."

"I know. And I'd appreciate it if you would give him a chance."

"I did, and I do. But I need to tell you what I saw."

"Hmm?"

"Lili, I saw that look. I know that look. It's the one that says, _'I'm never gonna have this. I'm never gonna be happy – not really. I won't have love and a family and a future.'_ I saw that look, and I recognized that look because, well, because I used to see that look every single day of my life, whenever I'd look in a mirror."

"How did that make you feel?"

"Like I've been holding his future hostage. I've been holding everyone's future hostage. If you, if you dream with him, and it's really good, would you leave me?" Doug asked, trembling just a little.

"No. I won't leave you. Would you leave me, if your dreams with Melissa turn out to be really good ones?"

"No. And I've never wanted to leave you. I've – this has all been a lot of posturing. I'm sorry it's been hurtful. My pride really took a hit there."

"I understand. I think this pride business needs to, uh, there should probably be less of it," she said.

"Agreed," he said, "It's a lot to swallow."

"How do you think it will all go?"

"Rough at first, but a lot of things are. You work out the details, I guess. And I reserve the right to change my mind," Doug said.

"Call him. And I will call her," Lili said, "It's time."

=/\=

Malcolm sat in quarters, fingering the cuff, "Scraps from her table. They will have to be enough," he said to no one.

There was a communications chime. It was Doug.

"Come," was all he said.

=/\=

Malcolm came over, but was cautious – after all, he didn't want another beating. Lili and Melissa were already there so he felt able to relax a little.

"Call Norri," Lili said, "And I will explain. Ready? Good. This can only work if we all work together. There can never be any jealousy. You have to let all of that go, but you also have to make it possible for the others to let it go. No one gets to go around hurting the others. _No one_. You, Malcolm, have this piece, Doug has this one. And, in turn, Melissa has a piece, and Norri has another one," Lili said.

"Letting go of jealousy isn't easy," Norri said, "Not impossible, but not easy. Something for me to work on."

"Me, too," Doug said.

"And, for you, Malcolm, anyone can have your daylight piece – Pamela, perhaps, or someone else when you're ready," Lili said.

Malcolm said, "Not with Pamela. That ship has sailed, and I don't wish to go chasing after it. I don't know – I haven't really had long-term connections. Perhaps this is a way for me to finally, truly have one. And, have, well, I could have a real connection to you. Couldn't I?"

Lili nodded, "And that's for as long as you want it."

"I, I want it for, for a long time," he glanced over nervously at Doug.

Doug said, "I'm in this for the long haul. You better be, too, Reed, because you better not hurt her."

"I, I feel that I am all right with being second," Malcolm said.

"_Second_?" Lili asked, "I don't want to think of you that way."

"Actually, isn't the guy who walks in the back of a patrol just as important as the one who walks in the front?" Norri asked, "I've been reading a book on the Viet Nam war," she said, explaining.

"Yes, that's true," Doug said, "Walking point – being in front – is most dangerous, but bringing up the rear is a vital position as well. That's the first guy hit if there's an ambush."

"And when you pilot a ship – the last course correction you make, it's no less important than the first," Melissa said.

"The last page of a book is no less important than the first," Norri said.

"Last step of a recipe is just as necessary as the first," Lili said.

Malcolm smiled, "We can be very kind people to each other when we want to be."

"Then I choose to be kind," Norri said.

"So you are a kind lioness, Miss Leonora?" Malcolm asked.

"That's me, the book editing literary lioness," Norri said, smoothing her auburn hair a bit, "I don't have much of a mane these days, though."

"I'm not quite done yet. I have conditions," Doug said, "No one confuses the kids. That means we watch the public displays. I'm not joking about this."

Norri said, "While on the subject of children – I refuse to be called _Aunt _– and he shouldn't be called _Uncle_," she pointed to Malcolm, "We aren't your siblings."

"So what should you be called?" Melissa asked.

Malcolm suggested, "Well, how about by first names? It seems like Joss uses them anyway."

"Yes, he does. The Calafans don't have last names," Lili said.

"Oh and my condition," Malcolm said, "Is that I'd like to be able to visit on occasion. In person, get together and be together sometimes."

Doug added quickly, "If we're gonna have visits, I gotta insist on this one. No one sleeps in – or has sex in – my bed except for my wife and me. _No exceptions_."

"Same here," Melissa said, "I don't want some icky boy in the bed I share with Norri. Well, I don't. You guys have germs and stuff."

"Well, there are hotels, right?" Lili said, "There's a pretty nice one on Lafa II, in Fep City. Now for mine, I must insist – my condition is – I want pictures of everyone – kids' births and graduations, medal ceremonies, vacations, anything and everything."

"We're putting a slide show wall into the house", Doug explained, "We had, uh, talked about it before this trip started."

"And I want to fill it up with all of your images," Lili said, "With the new babies when they're born, and every time we all do something wonderful or even just something silly. Give me all of them, don't edit anything out."

"What will you call us when people ask who all those people are?" Melissa asked.

"My family," Lili said.

"I suppose that's all our families now," Malcolm said.

Norri said, "Is this arrangement, is it related at all to the world you live on?"

"A bit," Lili said, "But not exactly. Usually when they make contact, it's with someone in the mirror universe, on the other side of the pond. And it's just the four – the husband, the wife, his nighttime partner, and hers. We've got five, it's not identical. Oh, and here," she handed Yimar's bracelet to Melissa, "You'll need to wear this to make contact."

"Their wedding vows even take the nighttime arrangements into account," Doug said, "They are, um, _'I will love you all of our days, and support you all of your nights.'_ That's right, isn't it?"

"Yep," Lili said, checking on a PADD, "My heart," she kissed him on the cheek, "My soul," she leaned over and kissed Malcolm.

"I'm working on the jealousy," Doug said, "I am, I swear, my heart," he kissed her, "My soul," he said, walking up to Melissa and kissing her.

"Both," Norri said to Melissa, "I don't go by half-measures. And I will love and support you both day and night, kiddo, like I have ever since we met."

"I as well," Malcolm said to Lili, "I don't intend to be looking for girlfriends. I think my hands will be quite full this way. And you, Miss Melissa. You and I will be on ship together. I shall watch out for you."

"Thanks, I'll, um, make sure you eat enough, and stuff like that," she said, "You are my heart," she said to the image of Norri, and blew a kiss to the screen, "And you are my soul," she said to Doug, and kissed him, "You, you're an icky boy. But you're all right," she said to Malcolm.

"Oh, and I got one more thing. Not to be too graphic about things, but I just feel strange about kissing her right after you, uh," Doug said.

"Yes, I suppose that could be an issue – and vice versa as well," Malcolm said, reddening.

"On this end, too," Norri added. Lili nodded.

"Mints," Melissa said, taking a roll out of a zippered pocket, "Chef has a big box of them."

"Take most of them with you," Malcolm suggested to Lili, "Then we'll all, um, chip in for them."

"Can't you get some sort of a discount if you order them in bulk?" Norri asked.

32

Lili sat on a Bio Bed in Sick Bay.

Doctor Phlox smiled at her, "You're surprisingly healthy, and the baby is a dynamo. You'll be kept very busy. You'd best get your sleep now, while you can."

She smiled, "That's a good thing. Assuming Joss lets me rest."

"Here now, let's do another scan for Doctor Miva."

She lay there as he ran the scanner and performed tests, "Hmm."

"Hmm? Is that a bad hmm?" she asked, a little anxious.

He reversed the bed and Lili was brought out of the scanner, "Look here," he pointed to the scan.

"Oh."

=/\=

Melissa and Doug made their good-byes, "Let's go hunting tonight," he said.

"Anything else?" she asked, kissing his ear.

"Sure. But let's do it in a proper bed, not in one of those nasty holding center beds. They always gave me a backache."

"We could go camping!"

"Yeah, I seem to recall you, heh, like tents. And my back will survive. I also want to tell you," he faced her and took her hands in his, "Everybody keeps asking me this, and I hadn't said anything. It's not that I didn't feel it. I just – I don't say it much. It's a difficult three words. But I do. _I love you, Melissa_," he kissed her slowly, gently.

"I love you too, you icky boy," she said "Oh, and the baby will be named Thomas. Assuming I have a boy. You okay with that?"

"Of course. Thomas Beckett?"

"Thomas Madden. Thomas Digiorno-Madden if you really want to get technical."

"Huh. I guess I'll learn to be okay with that."

=/\=

Lili and Malcolm kissed in his room. They broke apart and he sighed, "Oh that is divine. When shall I see you in person next?"

"Tonight."

"Yes, but like this," he kissed her again.

"Ah. Hmm. The springtime – Melissa will have the baby then, and Doug will want to be on Ceres for that. And you and I can – will you be getting vacation time?"

"I'm sure I can swing something. Do you like Risa?"

"I've never been there."

"We can take the children, too, if you like."

"Do they have day care?" she asked, and then kissed him. This time, she was the one to sigh when they broke apart.

"I'm sure we can get someone to, uh, take care of them for a few hours one day. Or every day, my love," he said, brushing her hair back from her face.

"So what's Risa like?"

"Warm. It's got beaches."

"We'll take sunscreen. I burn really easily."

"What makes you think we'll be leaving the room that much?"

They kissed again. He looked at her, "Now it's getting a bit painful. You're such a wicked, wicked woman, Lili-Flower."

"Wish I had a bit more time. And, um, at some point, you know, we will do more than kiss here in this room, on this bed," she said.

"Oh, I look forward to that."

=/\=

"Got everything?" Travis asked.

"Yes, I think so," Lili said, "Thanks for the case of mints, Brian."

"Oh sure. Chef could spare 'em. Are you making cookies or something?"

"I'll use them for, uh, something," she came close to him, "Yimar has good taste in men," she said quietly.

"Um, thanks. But what's a perrazin?"

"It's a big, carnivorous cow that's found on Lafa XII," Doug said, "Lili, we need to go."

=/\=

Melissa and Malcolm watched them leave, and started walking down a hall, "So, uh, we don't know each other that well," she ventured.

"No. I suppose this will be a time for us to get better acquainted."

"I'll only be here another three months or so. Then, according to regulations, I have to be transferred away from combat."

"Oh. So that's, uh, right before second trimester, right?"

"Right."

"How are you feeling, Melissa?"

"Still PMSing. So, uh, watch it. Then I have barfing to look forward to. Will ya hold my head, Reed?"

"Huh. I am not exactly looking forward to that as a task. But I will do it," he said, "Do you like Movie Night?"

"No chick flicks," she said.

"All right. Something with lots of explosions, then?"

"Yes! Some old war picture or something. Chip must have loads of 'em."

"Good. I'll take you to Movie Night, then. When you're up for it."

"People will think we're an item," she said.

"We'll know the truth. We can just let them wonder."

=/\=

Upon returning to Lafa II, their bed was a most welcome sight, "Think Joss will sleep through the night?" Lili asked.

"Just do your best to stay quiet, okay? C'mere," he started kissing her neck.

"Oh," she said, although it came out more as a moan, "Professor Beckett."

"Hmm?"

"I was wondering. I need to, uh, study mathematics. Can you privately tutor me?"

"I believe I can fit you into my oh so busy schedule," he said.

"I'll have to bite the pillow again," she said, a little breathless.

"Better that than anything else," he said.

The pillow was a goner.

=/\=

They slept.

"_I am really enjoying camping," Melissa said, "'Specially the, uh, extracurricular__activities," she kissed him._

"_That's why there's only one sleeping bag," Doug said._

=/\=

"_Did you like the regatta?"_

"_I did," Lili said, "Although, ha, when they go by and the coxswain yells out _'stroke!_' I have to confess that I'm not thinking about racing shells."_

"_This will be a very slow race," Malcolm said, kissing her._

=/\=

That morning, Lili woke to the sounds and smells of Doug making pancakes.

"Oh, you shouldn't have!"

"You know, except for barbecuing, this is the only thing I know how to make."

"Pancakes! Pancakes!" Joss danced around the kitchen, bare feet on the wood floor.

"Yes, pancakes!" Lili enthused, "I had craved them for _soooo_ long."

Doug turned off the flame, holding the wooden spatula, "Good thing we got the flour."

"And a good thing there's going to be more trade. I don't want to wait another year for pancakes. Do ya, Ducks?" she asked Joss.

"'Ommy, _Duck Duck_!"

"In a few minutes, Joss. I wanna kiss Daddy first."

Doug said, "I love you. And I love Number One Son," he kissed Joss on the top of his head, no mean feat as the toddler was still running around and jumping a bit, "And I love Number Two Son," he knelt down and kissed her belly.

She said, "No."

_Kick._

"No?"

"No. _Number One Daughter_."

There was a clatter as the spatula hit the floor and they kissed, and Doug knew, and Lili knew, and Joss knew, and even Marie Patrice knew, that once again all was right, in this or any other universe.

15


End file.
